The Space Between Us(72)

I stormed into Phil’s office, the door swinging open so fast it bounced off the wall behind it. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me the appointment had been moved? You knew how important this was to me.”

“Asher, calm down. You’re right. I should have told you. The Anderson case got moved around and I was swamped. I was rushing from one meeting to the next when I got word of the time change. I just forgot. I apologize.”

Well shit. I couldn’t be angry at that. I just sat down in one of his arm chairs and rested my head in my hands, contemplating what to do next. “Did you see her face? Did you see how much she hates me?”

“I saw a lot of things between the two of you, but I don’t think I saw hate. I saw a woman who just lost her dad and then she saw a ghost. She looked terrified. I’m not sure what happened between you two, but she’s definitely not a fan of yours.”

Hate or terror, I wasn’t ok with either emotion, not when it was Bit. I desperately wanted her to love me again, to forget the words I spoke, the way I acted, how I’d walked away from her that day. Hell, I wanted to forget. I looked up at Phil.

“How was she during the reading?” How much I wished I had been there to comfort her while she learned of her father’s last wishes. I already knew what they were. I helped Charles prepare everything. I was the one to sit with him and decide how to invest his money, how he could leave Charlie with the most, how she could be best provided for. I did it just as much for him as I did for me and I would admit that to anyone. I don’t think I had to tell Charles though. He knew. He knew every time I went to see him over the last thirteen years it was to feel close to her. I will always have a deep respect for Charles McBride. He was a great man, but I used him. It was a two-way street though. I think he liked having me around to remind him of Charlie when she was younger. My love for her was comforting to him. That’s how it seemed anyway.

“She was quiet. A little shocked when she heard the number, understandably.” I nodded. It was a big number. “I’m glad her friend was here; she seemed to help, even had tissues ready. I suck at reading wills. I should have thought to have tissues ready.” He sighed. “Oh well.” He walked back to his desk and sat down in his high-back chair. “What are you going to do now?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, how are you going to handle the situation? It’s obvious there’s a history there. She wouldn’t have run from here so quickly if she didn’t still have some sort of feelings towards you.”

“It’s complicated.”

“It’s always complicated. If it weren’t, we’d be dead. That’s all life is, one complication after another. If you hide from one, the rest just pile up behind it.”

“When did you become a philosopher?”

“I’m a lawyer. Same difference.”

“So, you think I should try to talk to her.”

“I think you should try to fix whatever it is that’s made you act like a crazy person for the last week.”

I nodded. That would be her. She’s the one who’s made me act like a crazy person. “Did Reeve get home?”

“Yes. Her husband came to pick her up.”

“I think I’m going to take a personal day and head out. You all right with that?”

“Do what you have to do.” His words sounded cold, but I knew Phil was simply trying to stay impartial. He wouldn’t begrudge me the time off.

“Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I headed towards the door of his office.

“Asher,” he called out. I turned around, resting against the frame of the door. “If you need anything, or anyone to talk to, give me a call.” I gave him a small smile.

“Thanks. For everything. I know you didn’t have to handle the will this morning. I really appreciate it.”

“Ok, get out of here.”

I got back in my car and headed to Reeve’s house. She wasn’t thrilled to see me and I wasn’t surprised. She glared at me from behind her partially closed door.

“Reeve, please talk to me.”

“What is it that you want, Asher?” That was a damn good question. In this moment all I knew was I wanted Charlie to know how sorry I was – for being at the office, for her dad dying, and for a list of things that happened years before.

“I just want to make sure she’s ok.” Reeve puffed out a big sigh and took a step out of the door on to her porch. I stepped back, allowing her some room to breathe.

“What makes you think that you deserve to know anything about her? You made the biggest mistake of your life all those years ago and this is the price you have to pay for it, Asher. You don’t get to know anything about her.”

“Reeve, I know I messed up. I get that. And I totally understand why she doesn’t want to see me. But please, tell me she’s ok.” She was silent for a few moments, tapping her foot on the concrete, avoiding eye contact. Finally, her shoulders relaxed a little and she let her arms fall to her sides.

“Charlie hasn’t been ok for thirteen years, Asher. She’s not the same girl you were in love with. What happened between you two, what happened to her, what you did to her, it changed her. She was never ok after what you did.”

“I know what I said to her about the baby was wrong, Reeve. I know that, truly, I do. I regret that every day of my life.”