The Room Mate (Roommates #1)(43)

“You’re fucking my brother?” she managed, her voice breaking on the words.

My heart plummeted, and I felt sick to my stomach. I never meant to deceive my very best friend, but here I was, in bed with her brother. It felt like the worst betrayal.

“Al, give us a minute,” Cannon said after a few seconds of tense silence. His voice was devoid of emotion, so unlike how he’d been last night, and my heart sank further.

Allie spun and stomped off down the hall. I was sure I had about thirty seconds to get dressed before she started throwing things in the living room. Lord knew I deserved every bit of her wrath. It wasn’t just that I’d started seeing Cannon; it was the fact that I’d done it behind her back. Maybe if I’d been honest with her from the start, admitted my feelings for him and sought her blessing . . .

I tugged my panties up my legs and stepped into my jeans. Slipping my discarded shirt from last night on over my head, I smoothed my just-fucked hair back in a low ponytail. Cannon pulled on his jeans, going commando beneath them.

Not daring enough to meet Cannon’s eyes, I held my breath and headed out, not ready to face Allie but unable to hide out in here with his stony silence.

“Hey.” Cannon gripped my elbow, stopping me in the doorway. “Why don’t you let me talk to her. Give her a chance to cool down.”

I shook my head. “No, it’s all right. I got myself into this mess, and it’s my responsibility to deal with the consequences.”

He nodded, his expression darkening. There was some kind of wall between us, but rather than try to figure out what was happening between us, I headed out to find Allie.

She was sitting in the center of my couch with her hands balled into fists in her lap. My first thought was that she was angry, but when I looked at her face and saw the tears dampening her cheeks, I wasn’t sure. She was obviously hurt too.

“Why, Paige? I don’t understand.”

I swallowed and lowered myself into the seat beside hers. “I am so, so sorry, Allie. It just happened.”

Allie wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand. “So last night—that was the first time?”

I cleared my throat. “No. It started before . . .” Pretty much right after he moved in, which meant we’d been sleeping together for much longer than I wanted to admit to Allie.

“But you weren’t even interested in dating. I tried so many times to get you out there more.” Allie sniffed again.

God, this was painful. I couldn’t tell her I’d fallen for her brother. Couldn’t even admit that to myself, because I was ninety-nine percent sure things between us were now over.

“I’m so sorry, Allie,” I offered again, my voice small as shame surged through me.

She hadn’t stormed out yet, so at least she was willing to hear me out. I guessed after twenty-plus years of friendship, she wasn’t going to just give up on me, as mad as she was, and there was some comfort in that.

“Can we please talk about this?” I asked. “Maybe go grab a cup of coffee?”

At least that would spare us the awkward moment when Cannon finally dressed and came out to join us. I didn’t think I was up for having to face him this morning too. Allie didn’t know it, but uncertainty swirled inside me over Cannon’s middle-of-the-night declaration.

The harsh light of day revealed the truth. Cannon had been drunk. It was the only explanation that made sense. He’d been through two tragedies in two days, losing his first patient and then his stepdad. He was out of his mind with grief, and he was intoxicated.

People said things like that when they’d been drinking. The I love you, man commentary shared between boozed-up friends was almost cliché. That’s all it was. I wanted to believe it was something more, but if he really was in love with me, he’d be out here right now dealing with the fallout, telling Allie that we were an item and not just a mistake.

He didn’t love me. I was there for Cannon in his time of need, and he was appreciative. Not if he hadn’t mentioned it today, especially not the way he’d looked at me when Allie was screaming. He looked like he wanted to get away from me as fast as he could.

Allie thought about my offer for coffee for a moment longer. I needed to get out of the house, whether she was coming with me or not. Finally, she nodded, and I grabbed my keys and phone before we headed out.

Once we were seated with two steaming mugs of coffee before us, Allie looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something. Only I had no idea what to say.

Admit that I cared for him? Where would that get me? Maybe it was better to let her think it was a moment of weakness, purely physical between us. Hell, maybe it had been. The truth was, I had no idea what was going on inside Cannon’s head right now. I only knew that he hadn’t tried to come after me, hadn’t told Allie to get out and mind her own business.

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am,” I said, apologizing again.

Allie shifted in her seat, crossing her legs as she studied me. “How long exactly have you been sleeping with my brother?”

“It started a little while ago. We’re friends, and then with us living together, it evolved into something more.”

“More as in . . . you care for him? You want him to make sacrifices and stay behind now?”

I shook my head. “I care about him, yes, but I would never make demands of him like that.”