The Room Mate (Roommates #1)(40)
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Bob’s death sent a shock wave through the family. As expected, Cannon’s mom was nearly inconsolable, but he and Allie weren’t faring much better. In the years that their mom had been married to him, Bob had been her rock. He’d taken care of everything for Susanne, providing her with a nice home, a comfortable life, and most of all, love and stability. Now all of that had been ripped away, it wasn’t easy watching Cannon and Allie have to face their mother’s new reality.
Bob was Jewish, so after the formal funeral proceedings at the synagogue, we were now back at the house to sit shivah, which meant the mirrors in the house were covered and the lights were kept low, with candles burning instead. Bob’s sister had come over to instruct Susanne since none of the Roth side of the family were Jewish, and they didn’t know the correct procedures.
I was sitting at the kitchen island sipping a bottle of beer. I didn’t even like beer, but Allie and I were hiding in the kitchen, and that was all that was available. Finger foods and a couple of bottles of wine were set out in the living room, but I didn’t want to abandon Allie, and I definitely didn’t want to get into another long conversation with one of Bob’s relatives.
Bob had had a massive heart attack in his sleep. Although he’d always been a snorer, Susanne had noticed he was unusually silent that night. And rather than revel in the silence and get a good night’s sleep, she said she immediately knew something was wrong. It was just after midnight when she discovered her husband wasn’t breathing. She’d called 911, and then while she waited for the ambulance to arrive, she’d called her son who was soon to be a doctor. He’d rushed right over.
After taking another long swig from my bottle, I gave Allie’s shoulder an encouraging pat. “It’ll be okay, somehow, Allie. It has to, right?”
She sniffed and gave me a slight nod. “Yeah. It will. I’m just worried about Cannon.”
Cannon? What did he have to do with any of this?
“What do you mean?” I expected that she’d be worried about her mom. Or that she’d feel awful about Bob.
Allie pushed a chunk of chestnut-colored hair behind her ear. “Cannon has been taking care of our mom since he was a little boy. But when she met Bob and got married, Cannon could finally just be Cannon—a normal college kid, focusing on his own goals and aspirations.”
I frowned, knowing that was never actually true. I was fairly certain that Cannon’s master plan in life was always to take care of his mom, regardless of whether Bob was in the picture or not. It was one of the reasons he chose a career path that would set him up financially to be able to help; it was just who he was. But I wasn’t about to argue with Allie. Their entire family had been through enough these past forty-eight hours.
Cannon chose that exact moment to enter the kitchen. He looked tired. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his expression was etched into a scowl. Yet he still managed to look rugged and masculine and beautiful.
Ever since he’d left my bed in the middle of the night, he’d been staying here at his mom and Bob’s house. Well, I supposed now it was just his mom’s house. Part of me couldn’t help but wonder if he’d decide to move in here with her now. It was a forty-five-minute drive to the hospital, instead of the ten-minute drive from my place, but I knew that if she needed him, Cannon wouldn’t hesitate. He’d pack his bags and wish me well, and that would be the end of my days with my roommate and the forbidden tryst we’d shared. It would kill me if he left, and I wasn’t ready to face that just yet.
I was curious about how he was holding up, and though I’d seen him during the events of the last couple of days, I hadn’t spent any time alone with him, hadn’t spoken more than a dozen words to him. I didn’t know how he was doing or what he might be thinking.
“Have a beer with us, Cannon,” Allie said, patting the bar stool next to hers.
Cannon grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge, and twisted off the cap before sinking down onto the stool.
We sat in silence for a few moments, each of us nursing our beverages and unsure what to say to fill the void. Life could change in an instant, and that harsh reality was sinking in hard for all of us.
Susanne poked her head into the kitchen. Her face was puffy and her eyes swollen, but for now at least, there were no tears. She was holding it together for the time being.
“Hey, guys, can I get some help with Bob’s uncle Fritz? His car’s stuck on the front lawn.”
My eyebrows jumped. I’d met Uncle Fritz earlier. He was ninety-seven, and I was pretty sure he had no business driving.
Cannon rose from his seat but Allie patted his shoulder, forcing him back down. “Sit. Have a drink. I’ve got this.”
I gave Allie a sympathetic smile and watched her follow her mom from the kitchen. I glanced over toward Cannon, searching for something to say. Without Allie sitting between us, we suddenly felt too close, too exposed. Like someone was going to walk in and take one look at us and know we’d been sleeping together these past few weeks. That was how real and palpable our connection felt. One look and someone would read every intense feeling, every secret desire I harbored for this man.
Cannon turned toward me, abandoning his beer on the counter. His gaze roamed over me, hungry and unashamed. A warm tingle spread over my skin as he wet his lower lip with his tongue, so brief, I barely noticed it.