The Presence of Grace (Love and Loss #2)(23)

“Devon, this is silly. Go home. I can get a cab.”

“You’re not taking a cab, Grace.”

“It’s not a big deal. Ruby needs to go to bed.” He looked like he didn’t know how to make the right decision, as if he were torn between two bad choices.

“Ruby will be fine for another thirty minutes,” he said, pulling out of the parking lot.

I looked back at her and I knew that even if she would be fine, she wasn’t fine at that moment. She looked sick and exhausted, and all I wanted, more than anything, was to take her home and let her go to bed.

“How about we all go back to your place, then I’ll take your car and run your errands. I don’t mind,” I pleaded. Something inside me needed to help, to do something to make Ruby’s pain go away. A part of me ached to nurture her any way I could.

“You’re not going to run my errands,” he said, just as stubborn as before.

“Okay, then let me stay with the kids while you run the errands. She needs to go home.” I watched as his eyes moved to the rearview mirror, assessing Ruby, then Jax.

“If we take them home, then we’re there all night,” he said quietly, so that only I could hear him. “I won’t be able to take you home until the morning.”

“I don’t mind,” I said insistently, trying to communicate, again, that I wanted to help.

He searched my eyes for just a moment, then finally responded with a resigned, “All right.”

By the time we pulled up to his house, both kids were fast asleep. But as soon as the engine turned off, Jax’s eyes opened and he sat up straight.

“Are we home?” he asked, his voice rough and sleepy.

“Yeah, bud. Can you walk yourself into the house?” Devon asked. Jax nodded in response and pushed open his door. Ruby, on the other hand, was out cold.

I watched as Devon managed to pick Ruby up and carry her in the house. I followed them in and took a seat on the couch, observing as he quietly and efficiently put Ruby to bed and then helped Jax brush his teeth and go to bed as well. When he emerged from Jax’s room, shutting the door slowly to minimize the sound of it latching into place, he made his way toward me in the living room.

I sat on the couch just staring at him, waiting for whatever he had planned next. There was a coffee table between us, but I could see most of him. His hands were braced on his hips, his head hung low, shoulders slumped. He looked just as exhausted as the children had. But then his head came up and he caught my gaze.

“You sure you’re all right hanging out here for a few while I run to the store?”

I tried really hard to hold in my sigh of relief that he was going to allow me to help him. “Yes. Totally and completely all right.”

He pulled his car keys out of his pocket, then ran his other hand through his hair. “When I get back I’ll get you set up in my room and I’ll sleep on the couch.”

I nodded, knowing full well I wasn’t going to kick him out of his bed, but I wasn’t about to argue with him about it in that moment.

“Feel free to watch TV. The remotes are right here on the coffee table. The bathroom is just down the hall, there’s stuff in the fridge if you get hungry or thirsty—”

“Devon, I’ll be fine. The kids will be fine. I promise.”

“Yeah, okay,” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” I watched him walk to the door, giving me a short wave before he shut it behind him, then I sat in his dark living room. It only took a few minutes before I started yawning, so I stood up and tried to walk around to keep myself awake. I walked down the hallway, peeking into the kids’ rooms, checking to make sure they were still sleeping peacefully.

After I’d done a few laps around the darkened house, I finally decided to lie on the couch and read a book on my phone.



When I woke, it took me a moment to remember I was in Devon’s house, but it became clear very quickly. I didn’t even have to move my head to see the giant portrait of his wife hanging on the wall.

She was beautiful. She looked a lot like Ruby. I could even see a little Jax in her. But, God, she was stunning. Laughing in the shot, presumably unaware of the camera, with strands of pearls dripping through her fingers.

I tore my eyes from her, trying to push down the irrational jealousy. I would not be jealous of a woman who lost her life to cancer. What kind of person would that make me? I pushed the blanket off me, then realized I hadn’t fallen asleep with a blanket. Warmth flooded me thinking about Devon draping a blanket over me in the middle of the night.

Sitting up, I took in the rest of the house that I hadn’t really paid attention to the night before.

The house was nice and it looked homey. The furniture looked worn, as if people lounged on it often. The coffee table wasn’t perfectly lined up with the couch, which wasn’t perfectly lined up with the accent rug underneath, which only made me think that things were thrown off kilter as children ran by. I pictured Ruby chasing Jax, his side catching on the couch as he ran from her, knocking it a few inches, and nobody coming by to fix it. There were a few toys scattered around, a few books that looked to be Ruby’s, and just general life litter: mail, shoes, jackets. There was no coatrack, so the coats were hanging over the chairs.

It wasn’t messy—it was lived in.