The Memory Book(73)

Your partner forever,

Maddie



Hi sissy,



Mom is typing for me since I want the words to be right. My favorite memory is when you watched The Princess and the Frog with me and we sang “Almost There” together. I will see you at the hospital and give you every jewel.

I LOVE YOU.

DAVY





Hi sissy,



My favorite memory with you was probly something you might not think of. It was actully very close to now when you were not doing so good but you were ok. We were in the yard and you started to look around and I knew you were not remembring. Then I took your hand and took you to the hummingbird feeder and said hey sissy look remembr. You said oh good Bette its hummingbird season. Then you said shhhhh and pointed and we watched. It is my favorite because it didn’t matter that you didn’t remembr that it had already been hummingbird season but it was just nice that you were excited and wanted to share them with me! And that is my sister forever! I love you very much.

Bette





Hi Sammie,



I can’t do this very well. I asked Dad if it would be ok if I told you in person because it just doesn’t feel good to type it. I know you liked typing on this but I type a lot (haha) and I’m on the computer a lot (haha) so I just want to tell you in person. I’ll see you.

I love you,

Harry





Hi sweetheart,



Harry and I are in kind of the same boat. The best moment of my life was when I held you in my arms for the first time. I’ll talk to you soon.

Love,

Daddy





My first baby,



Words cannot capture my grief at watching you fall away little by little. But I suppose in losing some layers, your golden core came out. You are loving, compassionate, driven, talented, and beautiful, and you will be that way forever, whether in body, in our memories, or in this book.

My favorite memory is so hard to choose, because I have loved every waking minute of our lives together, from the minute you kicked me inside my stomach to this very moment, when I am watching Daddy hold your hand.

I remember when you were eleven, at your first spelling bee in Grafton County. You beat out thirty middle schoolers, and I was so proud. You came running off the stage and you were absolutely beaming and your arms were held wide open. I know not everyone will relate to this, but in a mother’s life, there always comes a time when “I love yous” become scarce and weird for both parties. Sometimes you’re scared your kid is only going to say it because they want something, or they’re doing it out of obligation, or they hate you, but in that moment, when you ran toward me and the first words out of your mouth were “I love you, Mama!” my heart almost burst with joy.

That I should be so lucky to be the person you want to be with and express affection for in the proudest moment of your young life. I was just as bursting at every single one of them, and I know I would have been present at thousands more.

I hope this time is one of them, too. Because I am full to bursting for you, and you should be so proud of yourself for how gracefully you have walked this long road.

I love you, I love you, I love you, infinity times.

Mama





hey sammie



you have just gone. my favorite memory is this whole book because it is you. thank you for recording your life. it was supposed to be longer. i guess you should know that before you passed, at sunrise, you asked to be moved to the window so you could see your side of the mountain. you said, “so i can see home.”

i love you,

Cooper





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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS


Oh, man. This book means so much to me. Whether they know it or not, many at Alloy—Joelle Hobeika, Josh Bank, Sara Shandler—have seen me grow up. Five years ago I walked into their old offices fresh from sleeping on a couch in Brooklyn, wearing a T-shirt with pit stains. I had no idea what I was doing. I’ve got to admit: for all the flailing melancholy I bring to their incredible stories, I am always pleasantly surprised when they keep me around. Designers—wow, three for three. Stephanie Abrams, for answering all of my panicked, broke emails. Romy Golan, for your fine-tooth comb. And the standing ovation goes to my editor, Annie Stone. Annie, thank you for allowing me to stretch your story, for letting Sammie be as weird as she needed to be. On the sea of writing, your creativity and sharpness and patience were anchors and lighthouses and the storm, all in one. (You would probably cut that sentence.)

Pam Garfinkel, what a pleasure to work with you twice in a row! And how strange to gain so much insight from someone I’ve never met. You packed the foundation of this story, and you never let me get away with anything. That’s invaluable. Thank you.

Leslie Shumate, thank you for running with me in the final stretch. And to all at Little, Brown—Farrin Jacobs, Kristina Aven—Poppy has gained a dedicated fan for life.