The Memory Book(66)

He went to get a glass of water from the kitchen.

I didn’t forget anything today.

In fact, I’ve been really good for the past couple of days since Coop has been around.

I feel strange in my stomach, but not a bad kind of strange, sort of, like, butterflies, at the idea of Coop being in my room late at night. How cheesy is that? Okay, he’s coming back.





So…


so


How’s that water?


delicious. want some


Yes.

Thank you.

What’s up?


lol


Now you’re the one who’s typing lol when you could just laugh.


yeah but your parents just came in to check on you, which means we’re not supposed to laugh That’s not what that means.


does that mean you should go to sleep and i should go home No! Don’t go yet.


are you going to fall asleep No way.


you look sleepy


It’s because I’m staring at a computer screen, dorkus.


look at me


…

See?


nah you look sleepy


I’m wide awake.


what do you want to do now I don’t know, what do you want to do?


how are you feeling


So fresh, actually. Really good.


are you up for another field trip Where?


guess


Potholes?


duh


Yeah.


are you sure? you gonna be okay?


Yeah, I took all my meds. And you know what to do if I can’t remember stuff.


yeah plus i actually am a first responder What?? Really? You know CPR and everything?


yeah


When did that happen?


i took a class


When?


that night i drove you home from the side of the road your parents told me you weren’t supposed to hang out unless it was with someone who was certified. so i took a class. i even have a card! i’m a card-carrying member I don’t know what to say. Thank you, Coop.


:)


:)

Let’s go.


you ready?


Yeah.





HIGHWAY 89 REVISITED


I just have to say this one thing while I’m sitting next to Coop in his car and we’re on our way to the Potholes, and I’m not sure how to say it, but I’m looking at Coop with the wind going through his hair, and through my hair, and there’s no music, just the sound of crickets and leaves and tires on the road, and he’s telling me to get off my phone, and I will but just let me write this, I just want you to remember this, Future Sam.





Coop is lying asleep next to me on a blanket on the ground.

We were lying next to each other, telling jokes, and when we ran out of jokes we were both sort of shaky and awkward, not like usual. The crickets were out. Frogs splashed in the water nearby. Coop he asked me if he could tell me something.

And I said yes.

I didn’t have to respond, he said, but he needed to tell me, especially with everything going on.

He scooted closer to me and I smelled strawberries. The frogs got louder. I burst out laughing because I was so nervous, and he asked, why was I laughing?

Because I’m nervous.

Why are you nervous?

Aren’t you nervous? I asked him.

Yes, but I know why I’m nervous. Why do you think I’m nervous?

I don’t know, I said, but I have an idea, because I might be nervous for the same reason.

Well, in that case, Coop said, and he hoisted himself to lean on his arm, looking over at me, and we were no longer just saying words into the sky. He opened and closed his mouth a couple times, and swallowed.

I have feelings for you, he said.

Oh yeah?

Not just a friendship feeling.

How weird it is that you have no idea what love is until it happens, and then you’re like that’s it, wow, there it is! It was there the whole time. Like a hidden image in one of those optical illusion books. When I took his hand. When he sat across from me in the ceramics studio, his eyes on me. When he and I were giants.

We don’t have to talk about it, he said. I just wanted to at least bring it up.

No I’m glad you did.

Coop swallowed again, and put his full hand on my cheek, then took it away. I wanted him to bring it back.

I think I have them, too, I told him.

When did that happen for you? he asked.

In the bedroom just now, I answered. When did that happen for you?

When I was twelve, he said.

And you still have them? I asked, and I moved closer to him.

I still have them, he answered.

And you have them for sure? he asked me.

I have them for sure, I answered.

I love you, Sammie, he said. I’ve loved you for a long time.

I love you, too.

And by now our lips were basically brushing against each other’s as the words came out of our mouths, and we were practically kissing, but when we did actually kiss it felt like I was drinking warm honey right to my gut, spilling out around me.

He put his hand on my stomach, right below my ribs and moved upward and I felt every millimeter and it was another time I wondered how the brain could work so well and move so slowly at the same time.