The Firework Exploded (The Holidays #3)(41)

I skid to a stop right outside the office door, taking a few seconds to slow down my breathing, straighten my tie and try to get the hard-on in my pants under control. Yes, I absolutely want to have sex with Noel right now, but more importantly, I just want to see her. I want to wrap my arms around her, tell her I love her, and thank her for still wanting to marry me after the insanity of the last seven months. With a deep breath, I quietly turn the handle of the door and slowly push it open, stopping in my tracks when I see Noel across the room. I’d like to say I’m frozen in place because of how beautiful she is, and while that’s true, I’m also unable to move because I’m mentally trying to remind myself that if I laugh right now, she will surely kick me in the balls.

“If you came back in here without that ice sculpture in your hands so I can sit on it, you’re dead to me,” Noel complains, her head turning in my direction and a gasp flying out of her mouth when she sees me standing in the doorway. “Holy shit, I thought you were my mother. What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to see me yet!”

My eyes leave hers to glance down at what she’s doing between her legs and I have to bite down on the inside of my cheek to stop myself from laughing.

“Don’t you dare laugh at me! Do you have any idea what it’s like to be wearing all this lace in July and feel your vagina melting down your legs?” she asks me in irritation, hefting the front of her skirt up higher and moving the white table fan she currently has gripped in her free hand, closer to her thighs.

Gently closing the door behind me, I walk across the room. Noel’s eyes glaze over and she hums in relief as the fan set on the highest speed blows air against her vagina. I stop a foot away from her when I see she’s wearing the blue lace thong with the red star in the center, the same one in the picture Alex gave me.

“Nice underwear.”

I watch as a faint, pink blush spreads across her cheeks while she glances down at herself and starts moving the fan all around the general area between her legs.

“Yeah, well, my dress is something new, the engagement ring you gave me that was your mother’s is something borrowed, and I decided this underwear was festive for the Fourth of July and it should be my something blue,” she explains. “You should be thanking me for making sure I stuck to that wedding tradition since you totally screwed up the whole not seeing each other before the ceremony. You better hope it doesn’t cancel out my good deed and bring us bad luck today. Fat Ralph already peed on the warning sign my mother posted by the ice sculpture telling people NOT to pee on it, and I’m pretty sure she redid the invitations Scheva and I torched and invited a hundred people we don’t know. I saw three Amish buggies pull up a little bit ago, and an SUV spit out at least twenty strippers. It was like a stripper clown car and I have no idea how all those women, even wearing half the amount of clothing as everyone else could fit in that thing comfortably. I can’t believe my mother invited Pinky VonPump and all her stripper friends.”

She’s still blushing and now she’s rambling, and it’s the cutest damn thing I’ve ever seen as she talks about the stripper named Pinky who her mother befriended around Valentine’s Day and invited to live here while her apartment was being fumigated for termites. It hits me that she’s nervous and I realize she’s probably nervous because I’ve been standing here like an idiot and haven’t said one word about how she looks.

Taking the fan from her hand, I shut it off and set it on the floor. Noel drops her hold on the front of her dress and it falls down around her legs as I close the distance between us and stand right in front of her.

“You look stunning,” I whisper, staring into her green eyes, made even more beautiful with the sparkly green eyeliner that lines the lids where her full, long dark eyelashes blink rapidly.

“My vagina is melting. You weren’t supposed to see me until I walked down the aisle to you, all pretty and perfect and without a liquefying labia,” she complains softly.

“I knew you’d be beautiful, but I had no idea you’d take my breath away,” I tell her, looking down between us at the vintage lace dress that molds to her curves, with a red satin ribbon tied around her small waist.

“Stop saying such sweet things when I’m trying to be mad at you for walking in on me holding a fan to my crotch,” she tells me with a sniffle as her eyes fill with tears.

“Fine,” I say with a smile. “Your tits look AMAZING in that dress, I could bounce a quarter off of your tight ass, and a melting vagina just means I’ll have an easier time sticking my dick in you later.”

She sighs and gives me a big smile.

“That’s more like it. I don’t want to cry when you talk like a pig. What do you have tucked under your arm there?” she asks, nodding her head at the presents I grabbed from the bed.

Pulling them out, I hold the larger box wrapped in white paper out to her.

“Presents,” I explain. “Happy wedding day.”

Her smile gets even larger as she quickly snatches the gift out of my hand and tears into it, throwing her head back and laughing when she gets the paper off.

“All six seasons of Mister Ed on DVD? Awwwwww, Sam, you shouldn’t have,” she laughs again.

“Obviously I ordered those before I know what the hell Mister Ed meant,” I tell her with a roll of my eyes. “Don’t worry, I got you something else that has nothing to do with my penis.”