The Fall of Never(97)

“You’re asking me to stand guard in the room while Nellie goes into another one of those trances, and to pump her back to life in case she happens to have heart failure in the process? And all this because you think your girlfriend might be in some sort of trouble somewhere? Josh, this is getting insane…”

“I know what it sounds like,” he said, “but I don’t have another choice. She tried to help you, she really did, so can’t you help us now?”

“Josh—”

“I’m asking.”

“I understand…”

“Kellow,” Josh said.

Carlos felt something turn over in his head. “What?”

“Kellow. You remember that word you told me Nellie was saying over and over again in her sleep? That word you recorded?”

The man at the counter coughed loudly into his hands, did a half-turn to examine himself in the reflection of the diner’s bank of windows, and turned back to face the counter again.

“Yes,” Carlos heard himself say, “I remember.”

“That’s Kelly’s real last name. I didn’t know that until Nellie told me. Nellie felt it—it came to her during one of these trances.”

Kellow, Carlos thought. What a goddamn mystery.

“She said that name right around the time she said those things about my son. Do you think there might be a connection? That maybe…” But his words died off. It was too nonsensical, too full of bullshit. In fact, in retrospect, he was amazed that the thought even crossed his mind to begin with. How in the world could the possible death of his unborn son be related to what some girl in upstate New York was doing?

Like a flash of lightning inside his head, the image of the young girl on the wooded hillside filled Carlos’s mind. The sheer power of the vision caused his entire body to tremble, and he grasped the corners of the table to keep himself still.

“Jesus,” he muttered, “I think I saw her. I think…God, I think I saw her there…”

“Saw who? Kelly?” Josh’s voice sounded very far away. Behind him, Carlos watched as the man in the winter garb gathered his pastries from the counter, paid the cashier, and exited the store. “You saw Kelly?”

“When I touched Nellie’s arm,” he said. He felt himself become detached, knew that his eyes were unfocused and looking past Josh now, through Josh. “I had this vision of a young woman standing on this hillside, surrounded by these trees, and this sense of…of urgency, like something bad was about to happen, only I didn’t know exactly what it was. I didn’t know what I was seeing. But now I think I do. Somehow…”

“You saw her? She was all right? You…how did…you saw her?”

Carlos snapped forward, his eyes refocused. A film of sweat coated his forehead, the palms of his hands. “Jesus,” he whispered.

“Nellie’s powers are strong,” Josh said. “Sometimes, it’s like…I think I can feel it too, even when I’m not with her. You know? Like I dream about what she sees and what she knows when I’m asleep.”

“Your friend,” Carlos said. “Why do you think she’s in trouble? What has Nellie felt?”

“I don’t know. Nothing specific. She can’t tell. It’s all just a jumble of feelings, of emotions, all coming at her at once. And half the time I think she’s just as scared and confused as me. And then, like I said, she isn’t getting stronger. She keeps this up and she’s going to die.”

Kellow, Carlos thought again, recalling the day at the hospital when the old woman began mumbling the word in her sleep. For some reason I knew it was a name.

Josh sighed, leaned back in his seat. “I don’t know about your son,” he said, “so I’m not going to lie to you. There may be some bizarre connection between your son and what’s happening with Kelly, but that’s just a feeling. Or coincidence. I’m not going to make you believe that just so you’ll help me.”

“That’s just impossible…”

“Yeah, well, I’ve had to realign my own concept of the world lately. I’m sure you have, too. About a month ago I wouldn’t have thought people like Nellie Worthridge even existed.”

Carlos found himself slowly nodding. His eyes trailed down to the book on his lap. Was it possible that this was all some horrible, horrible dream? That he’d wake up any minute, sweating and shaking, and utter a frightened laugh for dreaming such a morbid and purely ridiculous dream? Again, he felt that same maniacal laughter threaten to bubble up through his body and explode from his throat. His lips played with a terrified smile.

Look at me, he thought. I’m going insane.



Josh led him into the darkness of Nellie’s apartment. Even at night, all the shades were drawn against the lights of the city. The apartment lights were all off except for a small kitchen nightlight plugged into the wall beneath a row of cabinets. Darkness. To Carlos, this more than anything suggested the old woman’s imminent death. Like some wounded forest creature, she was barring herself from the rest of the world, walling herself up in seclusion. It was something human beings, like many other animals, did instinctively when faced with the sudden prospect of their own fleeting mortality. In fact, the entire apartment suggested an ancient crypt or mausoleum: stagnant and unused, from which all essence of life was being slowly drained over a long period of time.