The Fall of Never(92)
Yes, she knew, it’s all tied together. Somehow.
“I can’t remember.” Vapor blossomed before her face.
Following a moment’s hesitation, Kelly found herself weaving down the hillside by way of a rocky path, the memory of last night’s dream growing more and more intense. Practically ignorant of her actions, she downed the snowy slope with vague absence, the way a dog driven by loyalty follows its owner. The slope was steep and twice she nearly spilled herself to the ground. Having not fully recovered from her recent fever, she could feel her body wearing itself out, tiring itself, burning too much energy. It occurred to her, as she reached the bottom of the hillside and stood on the cusp of the forest, that she did not want to proceed any further. It was cold and it was getting dark.
Also, she was scared.
There is something here.
The concept struck her with inexplicable priority. There is something here. She suddenly knew this, was certain of it, and felt drawn to the forest by the same sense of mysterious urgency that had ushered her into the basement the night before. Her mind generated images of hibernation, of wild things lying in wait for the arrival of something else. Again, she was struck by the image of her sister lost somewhere in these woods.
There is something here.
Warmth touched her. In her mind’s eye she saw Becky moving swiftly down the hillside in her nightgown and bare feet, her legs pumping furiously, her hair streaming behind her while sharp tracks of tears ran down her face. The girl moved with somnambulistic detachment. Kelly watched her run into the darkness of the forest, devoured by the darkness. She was suddenly terrified for Becky and tried to call out to her…only to realize she was daydreaming the moment she opened her mouth. Becky was still in the house, unconscious and in bed.
But she’s here too, she thought. I can feel her.
Encouraged by that same driving force, Kelly stepped into the forest.
Ancient pines loomed above her; random rays of sun bled through the treetops. Some snow had reached the ground here, but not much. Mostly, the forest floor was a dump of wet, dead leaves and fallen pine needles.
Becky was standing right here, she thought, right here on this spot the night she was attacked.
The air smelled charged with static. Looking around, bracing herself against the cold, she imagined Becky running through the trees, her body beaten and scraped by protruding branches, patterned with bruises and cuts. And she’d fallen too—Kelly was suddenly certain of this, knew it as if she’d been there to watch it happen. Becky had fallen just a few yards up ahead, her bare foot snagged by a rotting downfall hidden beneath the underbrush. But Becky had hardly noticed: she’d gotten quickly to her feet again and taken off deeper into the woods.
But why?
And how do I know all this? Kelly wondered. Why can I see it so clearly?
Not see it. She could feel it.
Something carved into the bark of a tree caught her attention and she went up to it, traced it with her fingers:
K.K. + S.S.
Closing her eyes, Kelly remained standing in front of the tree. There was a sense of peace all around her—of nature and all its appropriateness—and yet…there was something masked by this peace, something like a dark bruise, a sour spot in the middle of green health, hiding just beyond the surface…
With little surprise, Kelly found she could see the forest with her eyes closed: that the trees and the land and the sky were laid out before her. Not memory, not recollection—this was here and now. A path weaving through the underbrush…a glowing red beacon just beyond the trees, shining in the darkness, summoning…summoning…
She opened her eyes, suddenly terrified, and saw that there was nothing carved in the bark of the tree. Memories swam just beneath the surface of her mind, nearly coherent. Yet these were not her memories, she knew; these images and thoughts and sensations did not fully belong to her. At least not all of them. It was not Kelly running through the forest, not Kelly tracing a hand to the carving on the tree…
It had been Becky.
She’s inside my head, Kelly thought.
Becky’s bedroom door was cracked open. Kelly pushed it open further and poked her head inside. A single lamp beside the bed illuminated Glenda’s ample form huddled over the bed. Smoothing back Becky’s hair with one hand, Glenda looked up at the sound of the bedroom door opening. She looked startled at first, then relaxed and offered Kelly a wan smile.
“She’s like a daughter to me, just as you were. Sometimes I think that if I stand here long enough, she’ll open her eyes,” the old housekeeper said. And without another word, she bent and kissed Becky’s forehead, tucked the blankets up around the girl, and moved toward Kelly in the doorway. “Are you all right, dear?”
“Okay.”
“Could I take you to the kitchen, fix you something?”
Kelly shook her head. “I think I’m just going to sit with her for a while.”
Glenda nodded and quietly left the room.
For a long while, Kelly remained standing in the doorway, staring at her sister. Was Becky dreaming right now? And if so, was she dreaming of the attack? Was she dreaming of what happened to her that night in the woods?
“I can feel you,” Kelly whispered. “Inside my head. I know you’re dreaming because I can feel your dreams. I can almost see your memories. It was you, wasn’t it? You forced me down into the woods today. And you forced me into the basement last night too. You wanted me to find that sketch pad, those drawings. But not just that. It’s been you for a long time, hasn’t it? Inside my head, I mean. Even back in the city, where this all started, it was you trying to reach out to me. And damn it, I heard you, felt you…I just didn’t know what the hell was going on. I blocked something out from my past and now you’re trying to make me remember. And you’re scared, and I can feel it.” She moved into the room, stopped at the foot of Becky’s bed. The girl looked so peaceful, so permanent. For one terrifying instant, Kelly feared her little sister would never wake up. “What are you trying to tell me?”