The Espionage Effect(73)

“Lovers, then,” I whispered, solidifying our classification. “No ‘but’ qualifying it, though. No expectations from it. Nothing more.”

This time, he pulled back. As steam billowed into the darkness and splashing water echoed against the hard surfaces, his words cut through the hazy cacophony, loud and clear. “There is a ‘but.’ There is more.” He let out a deep sigh. “That’s why I never let anyone in. I could never afford to care enough about someone to risk their life.”

“To risk losing them, you mean.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. “To risk losing them,” he agreed.

“Losing me,” I clarified. In the weighted moment, we spoke of specifics, not generalities.

Anger darkened his expression. He gave a sharp nod, as if he couldn’t bear to give voice to the idea.

An urgent part of me needed him to understand why his concern was shadowed by something greater. “Alec, you brought me to life. Don’t you see? I was lost. You are the reason I’m not.”

“But—”

I pressed my index finger to his lips, silencing him. “No. You don’t get to decide. Neither do I. We lost control of whatever exists between us long before now. We only get to accept this rare gift or not. I’m done locking myself away in a prison. Freedom is too great a reward, no matter the risk, regardless of how brief. Don’t you want to have what your parents had? Even if only for a blink in time?”

A cramp formed at the base of my throat as tears burned my eyes.

His expression seemed just as pained with emotion as he gave me a certain nod. Then his gaze sparked fierce. “Yes.”

This time he gave no qualifications. No objections. No roadblocks.

No hesitation existed—from him or me.

“Then love me, Alec. No one is guaranteed tomorrow. We know this. Be with me now. Give me all of you. Hold nothing back, and I promise the same.”

“It’s yours.” Gentle words, filled with power.

Honored to have a chance with him, I leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to a faded spiral scar on his right upper chest. A faint jagged pink line curved under his left collarbone, and with a calming exhalation, I kissed that too.

Wrapping an arm around me, he rested his palm between my shoulder blades, holding there with tender possessiveness. Ever so slowly, he bent down until warm breath tickled over my ear, fogged down the column of my neck. The fingers of his other hand trailed over my shoulder, then skimmed down my arm until they tangled with mine, clasping my hand.

He expelled a long breath, as if the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders, as if he’d been waiting a lifetime for this moment—for me.

And I now realized…I’d been waiting for him too.

He meandered downward from my neck with a slow trail of brushed lips and dotted kisses. All of a sudden, he paused, his face mere inches from my breasts that rose and fell with ever-shallowing breaths.

On a brief glance up, his gaze locked with mine. Even in the near darkness, compassion and wonder shone in the depths, mirroring my own emotions. I squeezed his hand, wrapped the fingers of my other behind his neck until they slid up into his soft hair. His splayed hand still resting between my shoulder blades tensed, slight pressure urging me forward. And I gave in, drawn toward him as his lips hovered closer.

With the gentlest touch, he pressed a kiss between my breasts, right over my beating heart.

It melted.

And the only scar I bore began to fade.

In the dim light, we no longer remained hidden. Not from each other.

Gratitude overcoming me, I kissed the top of his head. Long seconds ticked by as we held each other. His face pressed to my chest, my lips resting atop his head.

When he shifted slightly, I eased backward.

He outstretched his arm over the tub and spun the faucet lever, cutting off the overhead flow of water. Then in a sudden burst of energy, his hands shot around my waist and he hoisted me high in the air. A wide smile stretched across his lips as he lifted then spun me toward the tub. I bent my knees, then unfolded my legs until they hit the slick bottom. I gripped his shoulders for balance and spread my feet until they braced against the sides.

Breathless from the sudden shot of adrenaline, I stared at him, fighting a smile.

Then his gaze raked down my naked body, and his boyish charm vanished. One corner of his mouth twisted up into a devilish smirk. “Room for me in there?”

In the tub? My body? The heart he’d just claimed?

Yes. Yes. And… “Yes,” I whispered, certain of it all.

Gripping the edge of the tub, he put one foot inside, then another, maneuvering them around mine. He turned me until I faced away from him, put his hands on my hips, and squatted, pulling me down into the hot water with him.

I groaned as soothing heat seeped into my muscles. Water sloshed over the tub’s edge as he wrapped himself around my body from behind, holding me half in his lap, half between his powerful thighs. Against my tailbone I felt a distinctive twitch. But he didn’t move another muscle.

Time stood still. The world was no longer falling apart…not in here. Only we existed.

Our breaths gentled as contentment wove a spell around us.

A harder twitch pulsed against my lower back. He shifted and brushed another tender kiss on my neck. Then he gripped me tighter with his arms and legs and rocked his pelvis against me.