The Espionage Effect(71)
If the theory were true… Then last night as he comforted me when I’d nearly unraveled…
Then he saw in me what I saw in him—what I hadn’t recognized, because it was too foreign.
He loved. I loved. Maybe not in the conventional way. We kept our guard up, our emotions under tight lock and key. But in the right moment, when the battering forces of the world eased and all that was left after the hard layers had been stripped away was the vulnerable person we’d boarded up inside, we allowed ourselves to love.
I exhaled my first truly calm breath in thirteen years. Then, rubbed raw by the sudden revelation, unable to handle too much too soon, I closed my eyes again. A lone hot tear tracked down my cheek before I pressed the side of my face into his chest. “Thank you.”
His arms tightened around me in a gentle squeeze.
“Thank you for knowing,” I elaborated.
Brief seconds stretched into solid minutes. We stood there, frozen in the space we’d stolen for ourselves in the midst of the world set to fall apart around us. Even though preparations needed to be made, all possible scenarios drawn, impossible last-minute training to take place, we settled into the rare moment absent of demands or expectations, yet so full of meaning.
We didn’t know what tomorrow would bring. It no longer mattered what I’d been or who I would become through the ultimate trial that loomed ahead.
But now…now, I would revel in our only promised fragment of time, grateful Alec Marquez shared what little love he could afford—that he recognized that same sliver of love in me too.
I sucked in a deep, shaky breath. Alec did the same. In the next thumping heartbeats, we pulled away from each other in increments, him loosening the strong embrace he’d held me in, me standing on my own again, grateful for the support, but now ready to step back, reassess.
The tension in the air hung heavy, revelations swirling in my head. Vulnerability shone in his brief gaze before he glanced at his laptop, then at the blue horizon line out his windows, where sea met sky…the world exactly as it should be. Bright and vivid.
Come nightfall, another line of ships would cruise by, lights shining, one or more waiting to receive a message…or deliver one. “Will it be tonight?” I asked.
His brows twitched together as he closed the screen down onto the keyboard. “Don’t know. Our analysts are reviewing the trade activity. They’ll let us know if they find anything further.”
“What will we do?”
“Wait. EtherSphere activated four additional agents to watch Escobar’s house and the inlet.” Reaching forward, he tucked a finger into the waistband of the soft pants that I’d stolen. He tugged lightly, pulling me forward.
My breath caught. Tension crackled between us. Would he give in? Instead of denying whatever was solidifying between us, would he accept it?
Over the next endless seconds, numerous emotions flickered over his face until his expression hardened. “And train.” Before I could form a reply, his hand left my waist, grabbed my hand, then tugged me out of the room and down the hall.
I expelled a heavy breath, stomach dropping in relief, or disappointment…likely both.
And train we did, both of us compartmentalizing like the masters we’d become. Having proved myself earlier, no blindfold was used for the remainder of our training. More combat scenarios were run through, creating every situation we were able to simulate, then repeated until my reactions became automatic. Although he’d talked about a heavier meal, lunch was a hearty greens-and-protein smoothie packed with calories before we resumed a grueling training pace again.
Alec bounced onto his heels from the body slam I’d just delivered to him, gave me an approving nod, then exited the room. I took the pause in action like every other: I paced over the thin tatami mats we’d laid out to protect his bamboo floor once the beads of sweat had started to fly. I stretched my muscles by rolling my shoulders, scissoring my arms in front of my chest, and kicking each foot up behind me to grip my ankles and lengthen my quads.
Without warning, he attacked from the side. Catching the blur of movement peripherally, I lunged backward, grabbed his arm at the wrist and above the elbow, then pushed into the building momentum before arcing his arm around. But I misjudged the torque I had from my hand placement.
He spun into my body, knocking me backward.
On instinct, my hands shot up in front of my chest, counterbalancing my center of gravity as it reeled backward. My mental grid burst forth the possibilities, chose the one with the greatest probability of success, then fired an electrical impulse to my leg, instantly lunging it backward.
I spun, changing my backward momentum into coiling energy, then fired out an arm, knocking him off-balance.
At the last second, he swept my feet out from under me with his left ankle.
We both went down to the mats with a hard thud. I closed my eyes, head smarting with pain for a split second. I sucked in a lungful of air right as I heard him do the same. After a long silent pause, we both burst out into rare laughter.
I rolled over onto my side and propped my hand up under my head, staring at him.
Lines crinkled at the corners of his eyes. White teeth flashed in the middle of his broad grin. Dark stubble covered his strong jawline, framed his chin, encircled his lips. I stared at those lips, heated memories flashing into my mind.
“So, you’ve never had a relationship?” The blurted question felt surprisingly natural.