The Breakdown(91)
too much of my medication without realising what I was doing.’
He looks relieved. ‘Rachel asked me to tell Mary. She felt that she should know you overdosed.’
‘Did you?’
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‘No, of course not, it’s not my place to.’ He hesitates
a moment. ‘I know Rachel is a good friend of yours but I’m not sure she’s such a good friend to you. I thought it was really disloyal of her to tell me about your overdose.
You need to watch your back, Cass.’
‘I will,’ I nod. ‘If she phones you again over the next couple of days, don’t mention that you’ve seen me, will you?’
‘I won’t,’ he promises. ‘Take care, Cass. Will I see you again?’
‘Definitely.’ I smile. ‘I owe you lunch, remember.’
I drive away from the school, happy with everything I’ve achieved so far. I think about going to see Dr Deakin but I doubt whether I’ll get an appointment at such short notice and, anyway, it’s enough to know that in his opinion I’m only suffering from stress. That might have changed if he’s been informed of my recent overdose but at least I have Rachel’s phone to prove that it was Matthew’s doing and not mine.
For the moment, I can’t allow myself to think about what would have happened to me if I hadn’t been handed the phone, or to think about how the two people I loved best in the world have betrayed me. I’m scared that I’ll be so overcome with grief that I’ll be incapable of doing what I’m determined to do, what I’ve been determined to do ever since I heard Matthew’s voice at the other end of the line in the Spotted Cow, which is untangle their web of deceit. I didn’t need to go and see Hannah this morning, or the woman from the alarm company,
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or the one from the Baby Boutique or Mary, because everything is there on the phone. But when I woke up I still couldn’t quite believe what they’d done, and because they’ve played so much with my head over the last couple of months I began to wonder if I’d imagined it, or had maybe misunderstood what I’d read. I didn’t dare read the messages again in case I deleted them by accident or in case Rachel or Matthew came by unexpectedly and found me with the phone. My trip out has allowed me to confirm that it really is as I thought.
It has also made me realise how easy I made it for them. It seems incredible now that I didn’t question anything at all, not the alarm I supposedly ordered, or the pram, or the washing machine I couldn’t use.
Everything that happened, I put down to my failing memory. Even losing my car in the car park.
12 Aug 23.37
We need to up our game
12 Aug 23.39
Why?
12 Aug 23.39
She opened champagne earlier
Says she feels a whole lot better, talked about having a baby
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12 Aug 23.39
Poor cow
I’ll phone her tomorrow, see what she says *
13 Aug 09.42
Just phoned her, she didn’t answer Have you silent cal ed yet?
13 Aug 09.42
Not yet, just about to
Hopeful y it will send her back to where we want her to be 13 Aug 09.42
Do you want me to go to house later?
13 Aug 09.43
Yes but be careful
13 Aug 09.43
I always am
13 Aug 14.31
Anything happening?
13 Aug 14.32
No. She’s crashed out in front of tel y
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13 Aug 14.32
Good, means my phone call spooked her 13 Aug 15.30
Can I leave? Need to go to Castle Wells 13 Aug 15.54
Sorry, was in meeting
You may as wel
Make sure no one sees you as you’re meant to be in Siena 13 Aug 15.54
I have blonde wig and jogging pants, remember 13 Aug 15.54
Wish I could see you
13 Aug 15.54
No. You don’t
13 Aug 16.48
Guess who’s come to Castle Wells?
Was just about to leave when she arrived in multi-storey Fol owing her now, I have an idea
Is there spare key for her car?
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13 Aug 16.49
Yes, at home, why?
13 Aug 16.50
You know she has phobia about not finding her car We could make it happen 13 Aug 16.51
How?
13 Aug 16.51
If you can get away, you could come here and move her car to another floor
She’s parked on 4th
13 Aug 16.51
You’re a genius
Leaving now, hope I get there in time 13 Aug 16.51
I’ll keep you posted
13 Aug 17.47
I’m here, where is she?
13 Aug 17.47
Wandering around town
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13 Aug 17.47
Shall I move car?
13 Aug 17.48
May as wel . Can’t imagine she’ll stay much longer Put it on top floor 13 Aug 17.48
OK