The Breakdown(90)
Hopeful y she’l think she did it If not you can say you did before work and make her feel bad 24 Aug 23.49
Phoned Head this afternoon and told her about nervous breakdown Said not to expect her back
24 Aug 23.49
What did she say?
24 Aug 23.49
Feels bad that she didn’t see it coming Wants a medical certificate *
26 Aug 15.09
How’s life?
26 Aug 15.10
Would rather be in Siena
Machine not delivered, they’ve said Tuesday now
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Just ironed you some shirts
26 Aug 15.10
Thanks
Will take you to Siena as soon as all this over Btw thanks for potato thing 26 Aug 15.11
Glad you like it
You’ll get something else in a couple of days *
28 Aug 17.21
How’s it going?
28 Aug 17.37
Head wants to come round with flowers 28 Aug 17.38
What did you say?
28 Aug 17.38
Said yes but will tell her C too ill to see her and bin the flowers
Btw got certificate from Dr, only says stress though 28 Aug 17.38
Damn
The Breakdown
359
28 Aug 17.38
No mention of breakdown either So will forge letter for eod tests 28 Aug 17.39
She’s so gul ible sure she’ll believe it Hope you don’t mind but I ordered some pearls for myself 28 Aug 17.39
You deserve them
*
31 Aug 23.49
How was your day?
31 Aug 23.50
Same old
She didn’t mention meeting you for lunch tomorrow 31 Aug 23.50
Good, means she’s forgotten
Have to be at house for washing machine delivery So will pretend I’ve come to see why she didn’t turn up *
01 Sep 15.17
How did it go?
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01 Sep 15.18
Machine arrived at 11, she slept all through it Then rang on door to see why she hadn’t turned up for lunch
Thought she wasn’t going to answer door at first 01 Sep 15.18
How was she?
01 Sep 15.18
Could barely understand her
She’s so messed up, went on about murder, told me about seeing knife Sounds raving mad
01 Sep 15.19
Good
Plan to tell her tonight that she is 01 Sep 23.27
Did you tell her?
01 Sep 23.28
Yes, still completely out of it when I got home So took advantage, asked her to put on washing machine She couldn’t, showed her letter from doctor re eod tests The Breakdown
361
01 Sep 23.29
How did she take it?
01 Sep 23.29
How do you think?
I leave Mary soon after, promising to keep in touch. As I go out of the front entrance someone calls my name.
Turning, I see John hurrying towards me.
‘Don’t tell me you were going without saying hello,’
he reproaches.
‘I didn’t want to disturb you on canteen duty,’ I lie, because I’m still not sure if he’s friend or foe.
He searches my face. ‘How are you?’
‘I’m fine.’
‘Good.’
‘You don’t seem convinced,’ I say.
‘I didn’t expect to see you up and about so soon,
that’s all.’
‘Why not?’
He looks embarrassed. ‘Well, not after all you’ve been through.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Rachel told me,’ he says awkwardly.
‘What did she tell you?’
‘That you took an overdose.’
I nod slowly. ‘When did she tell you that?’
‘Yesterday. She phoned me here at school and asked if I could meet her for a drink when I’d finished for the
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day. I was about to refuse – I was afraid she was going to proposition me again – but she said she wanted to speak to me about you. So I agreed to meet her.’
‘Go on,’ I say.
‘We met in Castle Wells and she told me that last week you took an overdose and were rushed to hospital. I felt terrible, and wished I hadn’t taken no for an answer when Matthew told me I couldn’t call round to see you.’
‘When was that?’ I frown.
‘After Mary told us that you’d decided not to come back to work. I couldn’t believe it because when we’d bumped into each other in Browbury you hadn’t mentioned anything at all about giving up your job and I felt there was something not quite right. It didn’t seem to add up. Mary said you were suffering from stress and I knew Jane’s murder had been on your mind but I thought – stupidly, maybe – that I could talk you into changing your mind. But Matthew said you were too ill to see anyone and when Rachel told me you’d taken an overdose I couldn’t understand how you’d gone downhill in such a short space of time.’ He pauses a moment. ‘Did you take an overdose, Cass?’
I shake my head quickly. ‘Not on purpose. I took