The Breakdown(48)

An hour or so later the phones rings and because the pills have begun to work, I feel only apprehension, not dread. It’s Matthew.

‘Good morning, sweetheart, did you sleep well?’ His voice is tender, a legacy of our lovemaking the previous night.

‘Yes, I did.’ I pause, not wanting to spoil the intimacy of the moment by mentioning the call I received.

‘Valerie said you called,’ he prompts.

‘Yes. I got another call this morning.’

‘And?’ He can’t hide his disappointment and I kick myself for not having found something more loving to say before dragging him back into my nightmare.

‘I just thought I’d tell you, that’s all.’

‘So what do you want me to do?’

‘I don’t know. Maybe we should tell the police.’

‘We could, but I’m not sure they’d take a few silent calls seriously, not when they’re busy looking for a murderer.’

‘They might if I tell them I think they’re coming from the murderer.’ The words are out before I can stop them and, although I don’t hear it, I can imagine Matthew stifling a sigh of impatience.

‘Look, you’re tired, run-down, it’s easy to jump to conclusions when you’re feeling a bit fragile. But it’s not The Breakdown





183


logical to suppose that the calls are coming from the


murderer. Try and remember that.’

‘I will,’ I say dutifully.

‘I’ll see you later.’

‘All right.’ I put the phone down, hating that I’ve destroyed the sense of relief he must have felt yesterday when I told him I was feeling a whole lot better. Ignoring my laptop, I go back to watching the shopping channel until I sink into oblivion.

The phone wakes me. Outside the sun has shifted towards the afternoon and as my mind clears I instinctively hold my breath. The answering machine picks up the call and my lungs collapse in relief. I expect it to be Rachel, calling me back, but it sounds suspiciously like Mary, our head teacher, saying something about the forthcoming Inset day. I don’t want to feel under any more pressure than I already do so I block out the sound of her voice. But once the call is finished, feeling like a student who hasn’t done her homework, I fetch my laptop and carry it through to the study to work at the table there.

I’ve barely made a start when a car accelerates hard in the road outside, making me jump. I listen as it travels up the road towards the other houses, the sound of its engine growing fainter by the second, wondering why I hadn’t heard it approaching. Unless it had been sitting outside the house all along.

I try to push the thought away but I can’t. Panic sets in and questions tumble feverishly through my mind. Had





184


b a paris


the car arrived earlier, while I’d been asleep? Who had been driving it? The murderer? Had he been watching me through the window as I slept on the sofa, like a puppet in play? I know it sounds crazy, my mind tells me it is. But the fear I feel is horribly real.

I run into the hall, grab the car keys from the table and unlock the front door. The glare of the sun catches me unawares and, as I hurry to the car, I duck my head, shielding my eyes with my hand. I drive out of the gate, not really thinking about where I’m going, only intent on getting away, and find myself on the road to Castle Wells. When I arrive I try two of the smaller car parks but they’re both full so I park in the multi-storey. I walk aimlessly around the shops, buy a few things, nurse a cup of tea in a café for a while, then walk around the shops a little more, trying to put off the moment when I’ll have to go back to the house. At six o’clock I head for the car park, hoping that Matthew will already be home because the thought of going back to an empty house makes me feel panicky.

Suddenly, my arm is grabbed from behind and

with a cry of alarm I whip round. Connie is standing there, a huge smile on her face. The sight of her makes everything normal again and I hug her in relief.

‘Don’t do that!’ I say, trying to gain control of my racing heart. ‘You’re lucky I didn’t have a heart attack!’

She hugs me back, her floral perfume familiar and reassuring. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. How are you, Cass? Enjoying the holidays?’

The Breakdown





185


I pull my hair off my face and nod, wondering if I look


as crazy as I feel. She’s still looking at me, waiting for an answer. ‘Yes, especially when the weather’s as good as it is today,’ I say, smiling at her. ‘It’s glorious, isn’t it?

How about you? You must be leaving soon.’

‘Yes, on Saturday. I can’t wait.’

‘I hope you didn’t mind me not coming back to yours after the end of year dinner,’ I go on, because I still feel guilty about pulling out at the last minute.

‘No, of course not. Except that as you didn’t come, John didn’t either, so we had to make our own entertainment.’

‘Sorry,’ I grimace.

‘It was fine, we put a karaoke thing on the television and tried to drown out the sound of the thunder with our singing. I have an incriminating video somewhere.’