The Breakdown(46)

I do a good impression of someone roused from a deep sleep.

‘What? No, it can’t be.’

The Breakdown





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‘It is! Look!’


Rubbing my eyes, I sit up. ‘What happened to your alarm? Did you forget to put it on?’

‘No, I must have slept right through it. Didn’t you hear it?’

‘No, otherwise I would have woken you up.’ The lie slips easily out of my mouth and sounds so false that I’m sure he’s going to realise I knew all along. But he’s distracted, looking between the clock and his clothes, his hand in his hair, trying to understand how it could have happened.

‘Even with the best will in the world I’m not going to make it to the office before ten,’ he groans.

‘Does it really matter? You’re never late and you often work longer hours than you should,’ I point out.

‘No, I suppose not,’ he concedes.

‘Then why don’t you shower while I make breakfast?’

‘All right.’ He reaches for his phone. ‘I’d better let Valerie know.’

He calls Valerie to tell her he won’t be in until ten and leaving him to shave and shower I go down to the kitchen, feeling as tense as I always do, despite Matthew’s presence. I never thought I would actually want my silent caller to phone but the thought that he might not makes me sick with apprehension. Because if he doesn’t, it means he knows Matthew is here.

‘Not hungry?’ Matthew asks over breakfast, looking at my empty plate.





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‘Not at the moment. If the phone rings,’ I go on hesitantly, ‘will you answer it? If it is one of those calls, I’d like you to hear it for yourself.’

‘As long as they phone within the next ten minutes.’

‘And if they don’t?’

He frowns, then tries to look sympathetic but the cracks are starting to show. ‘I can’t hang around all day, sweetheart.’

Less than ten minutes later, my prayers are answered.

The phone starts ringing and we go through to the hall together. He lifts the receiver and checks the number.

It’s withheld.

‘Don’t say anything,’ I whisper. ‘Just listen.’

‘OK.’

He takes the call and after listening for a few seconds he reaches out and puts on the loudspeaker so that I can hear the silence for myself. I can see that he’s dying to say something, to ask who is there, so I put my finger on my lips and motion to him to hang up.

‘Is that it?’ he asks, unimpressed.

‘Yes. It wasn’t the same, though.’ The words spill out of my mouth before I can stop them.

‘What do you mean, it wasn’t the same?’

‘I don’t know, there was just something different about it.’

‘In what way?’

I shrug, my face flushing. ‘Usually I can sense someone there. Today I couldn’t. The silence – it was different.’

The Breakdown





175


‘Silence is silence, Cass.’ He checks his watch. ‘I’m


going to have to get going.’ I stand there mutely and he gives my shoulder a squeeze. ‘Maybe it sounded different because it was on loudspeaker.’

‘Maybe.’

‘You’re not convinced.’

‘It’s just that the calls are usually more menacing.’

‘Menacing?’

‘Yes.’

‘Well, maybe that’s because you’re usually on your own when they come through. There’s nothing sinister in the calls, sweetheart, so stop thinking there is. It’s just some call centre trying to get through, that’s all. ‘

‘You’re probably right,’ I say.

‘I am,’ he says firmly, and he sounds so certain that, suddenly, I decide to believe him, I decide to believe that all along the calls have been coming from a call centre on the other side of the world. A huge weight lifts from my shoulders. ‘Why don’t you relax in the garden today?’ he suggests.

‘I need to do some shopping first, there’s hardly a thing to eat in the house.’

‘I don’t suppose you want to make one of your curries for tonight, do you?’

‘Good idea,’ I say, happy at the thought of spending the afternoon pottering in the kitchen.

He leaves me with a kiss and I run upstairs to fetch my bag, wanting to get to the farmer’s market in Browbury before it gets too busy. As I pull the front door closed





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behind me, the phone starts ringing. I hover on the doorstep, undecided what to do. What if he knew it wasn’t me who answered the phone and is phoning back? Immediately, I’m annoyed with myself. Hadn’t I just decided that it was a call centre phoning? Go on, a voice taunts, go back and answer it, then you’ll know. But I don’t want to put my new-found confidence to the test.

I drive to Browbury and mooch around the market for a while, buying vegetables and coriander for the curry and figs for dessert. At the flower stall I buy a huge bunch of lilies and head to the wine shop to choose a bottle for the evening. Then I spend a happy afternoon cooking. At one point, above the sound of the radio, I think I hear the phone ringing but instead of panicking I turn the radio up a little louder, determined to stick to what I’ve decided to believe.