The After of Us (Judge Me Not #4)(7)

“Seriously, Cass,” I continue after a beat. “If you’re coming to me, I can only guess it’s because you want my help in some way.”

Our eyes meet, and for, like, a minute, I see the old Cassie. Despite the fact her pale blues are unfocused and distant.

“Let me help,” I whisper, hoping to break through her defenses. “Please.”

There is a part of me that will always care for Cassie. I loved her first, and I loved her hard.

She sniffs and rubs her nose, and then she looks away.

“I do need your help with something,” she says at last, the moment lost. “But what I want from you has nothing to do with psych evals and f*cking rehab.”

She’s not going to let me help her, not with the drug issue, anyway.

Sighing, I fold my arms across my chest. “What is it you want, then?” It finally dawns on me that someone must have told her I was in town. “How’d you know I’d be here at the house? I was in California until just the other day.”

“I know.” She smiles again, but carefully, so as not to expose her teeth this time. “But word got out that you were back,” she tells me.

“What do you mean, ‘word got out’? You stay in touch with our old friends?”

I’m suspicious, as not a soul mentioned Cassie earlier tonight. Was this some kind of setup?

Cassie must remember my “tells”—the little quirks that always gave away what I was thinking—as she’s quick to say, “This wasn’t planned, Will. No one was “in” on me showing up, okay? That’s why I waited for the party to clear out.”

“You knew about the party?”

Chuckling, she lifts her hand to show me a scratched-up, beaten-to-hell-and-back smartphone. “I like to stay up-to-date with social media, though I really don’t know why. It’s not like I ever talk to anyone we used to know—not anymore. I guess old habits die hard, you know?” She blows out a breath. “Anyway, I still follow a few people. Someone mentioned something about your party on Twitter.” She purses her lips. “Or maybe it was on Facebook.”

I raise a brow. “Was it Nash?”

Cassie nods. “Yeah, I think it was his page I was looking at.”

Of course, after I asked, Nash would’ve posted news of my party all over social media. That’s why so many people showed up on such short notice. And that’s how Cassie knew I’d be here.

But she obviously had no interest in the party, so again I ask, “Why are you here, Cass?”

She glances over at the cab. The driver still has his window down and, although there’s no way he can hear us, he gives Cassie a shrug and an accompanying questioning look.

“You know him?” I ask, jerking my chin to the cab.

“He’s a friend.”

Cassie digs a little white pill from the front pocket of her shorts. When she pops it into her mouth, I am stunned. She looks high enough already.

“Hey. What the hell are you doing?” I ask.

She tilts back her head and swallows. “I need it for what I’m about to do.”

“Okay, Cass.” I am beyond wary now. “What the f*ck is up?”

She gestures to the driver, prompting him to twist around and speak to someone in the back seat.

What the…?

Just as I’m about to lose my shit over all this elusive bull, the back door of the cab opens unsteadily.

And then a little girl clambers out.

What the hell is a kid doing up at this time of the night?

Cassie’s whole demeanor softens. “Come on over, baby. Come meet the guy I told you about, the nice man named Will.”

“Whoa.” I take a step back, completely thrown. “You have a kid?”

What must life be like for this poor child? I dealt with a mom who was battling addiction—gambling, though, not drugs. Nonetheless, it was hell.

“Yeah…” Cassie nods, her eyes glued to the small girl lingering uncertainly by the cab. “I have a kid.”

Addressing the little girl, Cassie yells across the street, “Get over here, Lily.”

Despite the fact not one car has gone by, the little girl looks both ways before crossing. She is a cute little thing, tiny as all get out, and with a full head of long, platinum-blonde hair. She’s wearing a lavender tee that has “Princess” spelled out in sequins, and jean shorts that match her mom’s. There’s also a pink backpack on her back. I can’t pin the ages of kids too precisely, but this one looks to be about five or six.

Her blonde hair blows in the light breeze as she runs over to us, and when she reaches Cassie, she takes her hand and peers up at me curiously. “Hi,” the little girl says.

“Uh,” is about all I can get out, seeing as I’m struck speechless by this kid’s eyes.

Her eyes are an all-too-familiar green, vivid and bright, like the shade of young grass in the spring. Eyes like—

“Is this my daddy, Mommy?”

“Yes, Lily. This is your dad.”





Cassie



I never wanted to do this to Will. Not in this way.

Oh, the look on his face.

He doesn’t deserve to find out he’s a father in this manner. Will was always a good guy. And I loved him once, I really did. I tell Lily all the time she was created from love, from something that was once beautiful. Too bad all she’s been exposed to living with me lately is the ugly side of life.