The After of Us (Judge Me Not #4)(54)

“Shh, shh. Don’t worry, it’s really early.” I pull her down to my chest, her breasts so warm pressed to me. “In fact, we probably have time to—”

“Say no more.” Emma silences me with a deep kiss.

And then she straddles me. She is more than ready for me. Seems we’re always so ready for one another.

Damn, I love this girl.



Lily is happy to get out of the hospital. “It smells funny in there,” she tells me, complete with a nose scrunch as we drive out of the parking lot.

I can’t help but laugh. “It does smell weird, Lil, I know.”

When we stop at a red light, I glance back at her in the rearview mirror. She looks great, all things considered. There’s a big bump on the back of her head, not visible from my vantage point, but really, Lily is lucky. She took a nasty fall, but came out essentially unscathed.

She smiles at me when she notices me watching her. “Whatcha’ thinking about, Daddy?”

“Just how much I love you, honey,” I reply.

“Love you, too.” She spreads her arms as far as she can. “This much.”

“Whoa, that’s a lot.”

The light turns green and I return to concentrating on the road. But my ears are free, and I’m happy to listen to Lily chattering in the back.

At one point, she asks, “Are we going to stay home now?”

Home. The word hits me hard. This has become our home. There’s love and family in Harmony Creek. And there’s Emma.

I think I knew it last night, and even this morning, but Lily solidifies it for me with those seven little words. No more back-and-forth waffling, no more changing my mind on a whim, no more allowing turmoil that arises in my life—which is inevitable—to misdirect me. I’m taking charge, I’m growing up. I am finally becoming the man I need to be—for Lily, for Emma, and for me.

I pull into a strip mall parking lot, choosing a space far away from the other cars. I’m about to have a discussion too important to allow distractions.

I unbuckle my seatbelt and slip from the driver’s seat. When I hop into the back with Lily, I say, “Do you want to stay here in Ohio, Lil?”

She nods. “Yes.” Her response is uttered in a level voice, calm, like a little adult.

“Oh, Lil.” I rake my fingers through my hair. “I’m sorry I’ve been all over the place. I guess I thought I had this crap all figured out. I’ve always just wanted what’s best for you. I want so much to give you a good life…and a father who’s successful.”

“What’s sah-ses-ful?” she asks.

I sigh. “Good question, Lil.”

I think about what I’ve been taught to measure success by these past few years—money and material things. When I was little and my family had money, love always remained the focus. The money was an afterthought, something nice, but not wholly necessary. But after my dad died—and Chase, my mom, and I were destitute—my mom became driven to get us back to the life we once had.

But she never recognized that money can’t buy happiness. Sadly, she still can’t figure that out. Even after she met Greg—and he’s a good dude, don’t get me wrong—she could never recapture what we once had. Too much had occurred. We were all changed. Nonetheless, my mom has since tried to make up for what’s missing by showering me—and Chase, to a lesser extent—with money and material things.

I look around at the luxurious interior of the car Lily and I are in, this fancy BMW my mother bought me as a graduation gift. I appreciate it, I do, but I don’t ever want to become like my mom. I never want to be stuck resorting to showering Lily with material things to make up for not being there for her.

Lily, seeing me shaking my head, reaches over and touches my hand. “Daddy, don’t be sad.”

I lean over and give her a hug, albeit an awkward one with the car seat straps in the way. “Aw, sweetie, I’m not sad. I’m just thinking about things.”

When I settle back next to her, she asks, “What kinda things you think ‘bout now?”

I need not explain how I’m reviewing in my mind what to say to the recruiter I’ll be calling when I get home, like how I plan to tell him to cancel the interview, permanently.

I have a new goal—fulfilling my dream. I’ll freelance in the meantime, build up my name, and work for Chase on the side. It’ll have to be enough.

Lily doesn’t need all those details, though, so I simply smile over at her and say, “I’m thinking you’re right. We should stay right where we are.”

Her emerald eyes—my eyes—fill with hope. “We stay here with Uncle Chase and Auntie Kay?”

She’s making sure, and I nod enthusiastically. “Yes, Lily, we’re staying right here with Uncle Chase and Aunt Kay.”

“With Sarah and Jack, too?”

“Yes, we’ll be here with them, too.”

“Good.”

Since I’m striving to be completely honest, I’m careful to add, “We may not live over in the garage apartment forever, Lil. We’ll probably get our own place someday.”

Lily’s eyes widen. “Wow, Daddy. You mean, like, our very own house?”

I can’t help but smile, as she’s so serious. “Yes, Lil, our very own house.”