The Absence of Olivia(81)
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“No thanks necessary, Evie.” He took a long pull from his beer, and then put the bottle down on the glass table next to him. “Will we be getting a wedding invitation any time soon?”
His question caught me entirely off-guard and it took me a moment to formulate an answer.
“You know, the first time I saw him in my house, I wanted to kill him,” Devon said with a slight smile to his voice, like he was looking back on some fond memory. “For ten years you were a foregone conclusion. I assumed you would be there forever. Then Nate showed up with more plans than just to fix my house.”
“Nate didn’t take me from you, Devon,” I said with as much gentleness as I could muster.
“No, I know that now.” He was silent for a moment and I didn’t know what to say or do to move the conversation back to a safe place. Besides that, Devon and I’d had decidedly few real conversations, and I wasn’t trying to shy away from that one. “But, it felt that way at first, ya know? I don’t know Nate, besides how much we’ve gotten to know of each other here today, but I know he’s a good guy. You wouldn’t be with him otherwise. But, him showing up at my house was the beginning of the end for us.” He shook his head back and forth before I could even say one word in response. “And I know there wasn’t an us in the traditional sense, but we had something, Evelyn.”
I couldn’t argue with him, so I nodded, looking him straight in the eye. “I know.”
“I’m not saying I’m glad we haven’t seen you in so long, but I can say I’m glad we’ve all moved forward in a healthy way. The kids miss you and I agree they need you in their life, so I’m looking forward to having a regular, healthy, friendly relationship with you.” He took in a breath having plowed through his mini speech without taking one, and I could tell that was something he’d practiced saying, as if he knew he needed to get it off his chest. And I could totally appreciate that.
“I would love to be regular, healthy, friends with you, Devon,” I said with a straight face, but when he started laughing, I joined in.
I thought for a moment about Devon and Liv, and about the big, stunning photo of her above his fireplace.
“Are you dating yet?” I asked the question, hoping it didn’t make him uncomfortable. If we were truly going to be friends then this seemed like a completely valid question to ask.
“Not ready,” was his low and nearly whispered response. I didn’t get the feeling he was uncomfortable with my question, but more so, that he was uncomfortable with the idea of dating someone.
“Liv would want you to be happy, Devon,” I said gently, not wanting to overstep my bounds. Moments ago, we’d just solidified our friendship. I didn’t want to make him regret reaching out the olive branch to me.
He sighed. “I know she would. That woman told me on her deathbed that I needed to remarry. She even imagined the woman I would meet. Described this imaginary woman, and had a good time doing it too.” A few silent and pregnant moments passed, but when he spoke again, his voice was a little more strained than before. “She was lying there, no hair, a good thirty pounds underweight, skin so thin you could see all the veins running through her, describing some beauty queen who I was supposed to meet right after her funeral and move on with.”
His voice was becoming ragged and I turned my head to look away from him, trying to give him a moment to compose himself, but he just kept going.
“All I wanted was the woman dying in that bed, Evie. She was all I wanted.” He let out one racked sob and I immediately reached for his hand, grasping it tightly, trying to show him that he wasn’t alone.
“She was only trying to make it easier for you. You know how she was: a little inappropriate. She would have given anything to be here with you and the kids. But she knew that wasn’t in the cards. That was her way of telling you it was okay with her for you to be with someone else.”
“I know,” he said, composing himself. “She might have been inappropriate, but she was the best woman I’ll ever know.”
“I won’t argue with you there.”
He smiled at me, squeezed my hand, and then let it go. “You run a close second.”
“I won’t argue with that either.”
“You happy, Evie?”
I could not, in a million years, have stopped the smile that spread across my face. “Yeah,” I whispered.
“Good,” he said, his voice just as whispered as mine. “That’s all Olivia would have wanted for you.”
“You don’t mind us taking the kids out for pizza tomorrow, do you?” I called out from the bathroom at our hotel room later that night.
“Babe, we’re here to see those kids. Of course I don’t mind taking them out for pizza.”
I leaned out of the doorway just enough to see Nate lying on the bed in his signature flannel lounge pants. I met his eyes and said, “You’re the best.”
“You say that like hanging out with those kids is a hardship. They’re pretty awesome.”
“Told you,” I yelled again from inside the bathroom. Suddenly, he was in the room with me, coming up behind me, meeting my eyes in the mirror. I was startled at first, not expecting him, but then continued to floss.