The Absence of Olivia(65)
“Daddy, I can’t sleep.”
I couldn’t help but smile at the sounds of her sweet, sleepy voice. It washed over me and made me feel a peace I hadn’t known in years. Devon was going to do what was best for his children, and if I didn’t love him before, I loved him now.
He looked at me with apology in his eyes, and I smiled, silently telling him I understood. Ruby couldn’t know I was there, then she’d never go back to bed. I watched as he stood and walked up the stairs to help his little girl fall asleep. And when all was quiet, I snuck out the front door, feeling lighter than I ever had.
Devon stayed in town until the kids were done with school. So I had three glorious weeks of just being Aunt Evie. I took them to movies in the evenings and to the park on Saturdays, but never showed up to get them ready for school or to make them dinner. They never asked why, and I never offered an explanation. The time we spent together was bittersweet because we all knew, soon enough, they would be moving. But it didn’t stop me from spending time with them and showering them with affection.
The day they left, I stood in their driveway blowing kisses at the back of their SUV, waving and shouting, “I love you.” Then I sat on their porch and cried.
When I heard my cell phone ping, I picked it up from the passenger seat and saw an alert that, at first, didn’t make any sense. I saw the word “Nate,” flash across my screen. Then, all at once, I remembered. I found the nearest exit, pulled into a parking lot, and then stared at my phone.
His name kept flashing, over and over again, and it came with an alert that sounded a lot like a hurricane siren. That was fitting, actually.
When that alert comes up on your phone, decide then. And I promise, whatever you decide, I’ll be okay with, as long as it’s your first choice.
I closed my eyes and tried to listen. I tried to hear that inner voice that would guide me, tell me the right thing to do. I sighed, and then, dragged my finger across the screen, dismissing the alarm. I gently tossed my phone on to the passenger seat again, and then rested my head against the headrest. I took in a few deep breaths, and then gripped the steering wheel. I checked my mirrors, making sure I could see all the way to the end of the U-Haul trailer I was pulling behind me, and then I pulled back onto the freeway and left my old life behind.
I did not call Nate.
I’d done exactly as he’d told me.
He wasn’t my first choice.
Chapter Twenty
Two Years Later
“Sylvia,” I called out, trying not to sound as completely flustered and nervous as I felt. “Can I get the lighting on this one taken down a bit and the print lowered just a smidge? It’s being washed out entirely.”
“Absolutely. No problem,” she replied with confidence, even though I knew I was handing her a task she was going to pass off to someone else.
I flipped my wrist over looking for a watch I never wore then cursed myself for never wearing a watch. “What time is it?” I asked impatiently.
“We’ve got plenty of time,” she said with a genuine smile, placing a friendly hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me.
I breathed out heavily, attempting to expel all the butterflies taking up residence in my belly. They didn’t go anywhere. Bastards.
“Okay, let’s get this one fixed then everything looks great.”
“No problem,” she replied, again with confidence.
“You know,” I said, an easy smile coming over my face for the first time that evening, “I almost believe you’re not just as nervous as I am.”
“That’s my job. To de-stress you. But trust me, I’m nervous as hell. But it’s a good nervous, more excitement. I just know this is going to be your night.” Her eyes lit up with contagious excitement, and I smiled back at her, this time my smile stretching my cheeks and raising my eyebrows.
“Thanks.”
She winked and then walked away faster than anyone should have been able to walk in her death-trap heels. I walked back to my office, a room I’d neglected until about three weeks ago when the idea of my gallery filled with patrons and clients made me organize the mess I’d made there in the last year and a half.
Sitting atop my desk was a crystal vase filled with all different pastel colors of peonies. I smiled as soon as I saw them, remembering the happiness I’d been overwhelmed with when they’d arrived. I picked up the card leaning against the vase, and allowed the words written on it to calm me a little.
We’re so excited for you, Auntie Evie. Good luck with your show!
The card was signed with an XOXO, and then names signed by little hands, Ruby and Jax.
I held the card close to my heart, trying to let their love wash over me. I missed them terribly. I hadn’t actually seen them, face to face, since they moved to Florida, but we Skyped weekly. Devon had never denied me them and, in fact, had bent over backward to make sure I was still a part of their lives. I loved those two kids so much, it sometimes hurt to be away from them. But, I knew the space for Devon and me was important.
We’d had civil correspondence in the last two years, but nothing in depth and nothing meaningful. We were both moving on, trying to build new lives. He had spent a few months after moving focused on being with his children, and in those months I saw the kids respond well to having their father back. Then, he’d gotten a new job, and only a few months ago, he’d purchased another house, making Florida their permanent residence.