Tank (Moonshine Task Force Book 2)(24)

“I’m good, ready to see if I can get this cast off and into a boot.”

“Kinda early, huh?” she makes small talk.

I shrug because I don’t really want to do the small talk dance with her. More than anything, I want this appointment over so I can figure out what my next few weeks look like.

She escorts me to another room and I have a seat on an examination table, waiting impatiently for the doctor to come in. I’ve done some reading online, so I know there’s a chance, if my break has healed enough, I can get the cast off today. I was very fortunate about where Brooks hit me because most of the impact was on the front passenger side, and I’m hoping that’s what allows me to get out of this cast today. I want to take a shower, to walk without the crutches digging into my armpits, to get back to work, and to make love to Blaze the way I want to. I wasn’t lying when I told Blaze I’m a fast healer, either. I always have been, plus I’m stubborn as fuck.

“Morning, Trevor,” the doctor greets me as he comes in.

There are no pleasantries from me. “How did that x-ray look?”

The older man laughs slightly as he shakes his head at me. “I don’t know that I’ve ever met someone who’s more anxious to get back to work than you. The state of Alabama is lucky to have you.”

I don’t need someone to kiss my ass and tell me how great I am. I’m fully aware that I’m only four weeks out from a wreck that could have killed me, but I also know that I have been feeling better the last couple of days. Stronger, more aware of my surroundings, there’s been a lot less pain and I’ve not had to take any pain killers since that first physical therapy appointment. More than anything, I just want my life back. I’m aware it won’t be the same way it was before the wreck, there might be things I have to account for and accommodations I have to make. I’m good with that, but I’m not good at sitting around.

He pulls out a piece of paper before he puts his glasses on, reading what looks like a report. “I have to say I’m a little surprised, but I’ve seen the human body do amazing things. Looking at the x-ray, the report, and talking to your physical therapist, I’m going to say we can take this cast off. You’ll still have to be careful, but we can get you in the pool next week. There will be absolutely no running on it yet and you’ll probably walk with a limp until you’re completely healed. Your physical therapist will help you with that. I’m going to send a note over to Holden letting him know that right now we’ll keep your return to work week-to-week provided you do everything else you’re supposed to.”

Happiness explodes in my chest. “I’m so ready.”

As he leaves the room, my phone pings and my smile falters for the first time.

Holden: Excited for you to get that cast off brother, but you better be making your appointment with the shrink. We just need her to sign off on you – as soon as that’s done, you do the physical course and you’re back.

Fuck me. I’ve been putting it off, but I won’t be able to any longer. So far I haven’t been able to remember shit about the wreck, and I’m scared if the departments shrink starts digging, I will remember. I don’t want and don’t need that fear in my life. But the writing is on the wall – I’m going to have to face whatever it is, because I won’t be able to go back to my job until I do.

Tank: Got it, I’ll make my appointment tomorrow and I’ll keep you up to date on all progress. Can’t wait to get back.

Ignoring the nagging in my gut, I text Blaze, letting her know I’m getting the cast off, and they’ll be giving me a boot. I sigh deeply, feeling like one obstacle that’s been standing in my way be lifted.

*

“Look at you, walking by yourself,” Blaze grins as she watches me approach her SUV at the drop off area.

“I know, right? I can’t even begin to tell you how nice this is,” I get inside, shutting the door.

“I’m excited that your boot goes with your tux pants,” she looks down at it.

“I requested black, for the suit pants and because Batman,” I wink at her as she laughs.

“You’re in a really good mood.”

She’s right – I am. I hadn’t realized how grumpy I’ve been, even though I’m thankful I wasn’t hurt worse in the wreck. I’ve still been on edge, because I haven’t known what the future will bring for me and while that’s true of everyone, I can admit now how damn scared I was. When they took the cast off, put the boot on, and then told me to walk – that was potentially the scariest moment of my life. But I did it, and guess what? While it hurt a little, and definitely felt weird, it’s freeing to know I won’t be held back as much anymore.

“I am, and I’m sorry I’ve been kind of a pain in the ass lately. I’ve been worried, scared to death actually, that I wouldn’t be able to be the same kind of cop, same kind of man, I was before. You know how much physical activity and my job mean to me. I want to be able to get out and do things with you, with Stella when she’s old enough. It means the world to me.”

Reaching over, she grabs my hand. “I get it, I totally do, and you haven’t been awful. None of us know how we’d react if we were in your situation.”

“I don’t know how you’ve handled it so well, Blaze, I mean what you saw and what you did, was amazing.”