Taming His Montana Heart(59)

“Now,” she commanded. “Now, please.”

“Yes.”

His word was a song, a promise, maybe even a challenge. She would try to straighten it out in her mind later, not now because he was separating her legs and she was moving with him, preparing herself for him. Loving him for now.

She hissed as he slipped into her. Much as she wanted to chart his journey, she had other things to do like listen to her body sing and celebrate herself as a sexual creature.

They made love as one, no longer strangers, familiar with each other. They had the same cadence, and their needs dovetailed. She sensed when he was focused on her pleasure and when his own desires took over. There was nothing civilized about the way he thrust into her. She’d have to take him for what he was, primitive and raw.

Good. Beyond good.

She was vaguely aware that her nails might be hurting him but holding back was beyond her. The bed squeaked and the mattress shook and she could see the moon.

A sensation she hadn’t felt for a long, long time rushed at her. Its intensity frightened her until she understood it for what it was, her body celebrating being a woman. Tears leaked as she surrendered to her body’s will and power. She cried out. Was still gone when Shaw came.

He groaned, grunted, strained.

Gave.





Chapter Eighteen




She’d have to tell Alisha that she loved being in a room without a clock. Maybe there was one, but she couldn’t see it in the dark. Shaw was sleeping next to her, his breathing low and steady in contrast to how he’d sounded when they were making love.

Making love. Yes, that was what it had been.

And sex. Plain, simple, sensational sex.

There’d been a lot wrong about her parents’ marriage but as far as she and her brother knew, her parents hadn’t cheated on each other. More than once Mick had told her he wasn’t sure he’d ever get married because the example they’d been privy to had been so dysfunctional. Then he’d met Carol.

“I know it’s right,” Mick had told her right before he asked Carol to marry him. “I trust her and she trusts me. I can be me, totally me. Most of all, I don’t have to keep anything from her.”

Haley drew the blanket up to her chin, rolled onto her side, and stared at the window. Given the energetic lovemaking that she’d held her own in, she shouldn’t have any trouble falling back to sleep, but her mind wasn’t interested in surrendering.

She tried to distract herself from the most vivid memories by replaying what Shaw and she’d done to and for each other, both before and after their bodies joined, but that only woke her up more. Careful not to disturb him, she slipped out of bed, draped his shirt over her shoulders, and tiptoed to the window.

I don’t have to keep anything from Carol.

Her brother hadn’t spelled things out in those exact words, but he hadn’t needed to. There was only one subject brother and sister still had difficulty talking to each other about, but it was as big as anything could get—their mother’s murder at their father’s hand.

Carol had told Haley she could come to her any time she needed to talk. “I don’t think there’s anything I don’t know,” Carol had said. “Mick has been pretty open. I’m not going to be shocked. Hopefully I can help.”

However, despite Carol’s loving offer and Mick’s big brother protectiveness, Haley still kept certain things to herself. She didn’t want that any more. She wanted—no, she needed to face what haunted her. If she didn’t, she’d never be what Shaw deserved.

The possibility made her shudder. How many times had she questioned whether she was destined to spend her life trapped in guilt? Eventually she’d made her peace with it after a fashion and had developed a number of coping techniques. If the nightmares got bad again, she could see another psychiatrist. Hopefully he’d patch her back together and if he couldn’t—

No more uncertainty! No more hiding in silence and dreading the night.

She almost laughed at the admission that she feared nighttime because this one was perfect. Shaw and she had had sex. They’d made love. Were officially lovers.

The moon was higher in the sky than earlier, and it and the stars were reflected in the iced-over lake. The snow had taken on a pale blue cast and the trees had become something out of a fairytale. If a wolf was out hunting tonight maybe it realized what a gift it was being given. Maybe, she told herself, instinct was telling the predator about the humans sharing the night with it.

It wouldn’t be like this every night. In fact a storm was due late tomorrow. But even as she plodded through fresh snow and tried to keep flakes out of her eyes and hair, she would remember this. The pristine silence was locked inside her.

Mother, I wish you could see this. You’d love it. You deserve—so much more than you were given.

“Are you all right?”

I’m fine. She nearly told Shaw, who’d gotten up and joined her without her being aware, but if she did, she’d be cheating both of them. “I was thinking about my mother,” she said without looking over her shoulder at him.

“Your mother?”

She didn’t blame him for not understanding. He probably believed her thoughts would revolve around what had taken place between them. That was where they’d been until a few minutes ago.