Taming His Montana Heart(56)

Maybe she’d ask him to compare being a cop to managing a resort and see where that led.

But first—

Her mouth dry, she sat and pulled off her boots. The cabin had a separate bedroom they weren’t trying to heat plus an open area upstairs with three beds. She tried not to look up, tried not to give away her nervousness and anticipation.

He turned off the light over the sink and joined her at the bookshelf. He brushed her hair back from her cheek, his fingers lingering as he did. “Your skin’s so soft.”

She swallowed. “Is it?”

“Yes. Haley, I think there’s—we need to make something clear.”

“All right.”

He again touched her cheek. “We’re here because we want to take our relationship to a level we haven’t before.”

To see if we’re compatible in bed?

The thankfully unspoken question made her wince. Romance was supposed to evolve naturally, right? To follow some secret but preordained pattern maybe. She might know if her teenage years hadn’t been such a mess. When most girls were trying to figure out why boys were so fascinating, she’d testified against her father, mourned her mother, dealt with nightmares, and blamed herself.

“Yes, that’s why we’re here,” she said.

“The physical aspect’s important to me. I hope it is to you too, but I don’t want it to dominate our relationship.”

Not many years ago she might not have understood what he was getting at. She’d been too messed up, too buried in the past to acknowledge her sensuality but being around Shaw was changing her.

“The physical aspect has a lot to do with tonight,” she said. “It’s the whole birds and bees thing.”

He sandwiched her hand between his. “Is that what your mother called it? I don’t want to stir up the past but I’d like to know whether your mother and you had that conversation before she…”

Haley returned his gaze. “Before my father killed her.” She filled her lungs. “Shaw, for a long time I couldn’t make myself say those words but pretending they don’t exist isn’t healthy.” She wasn’t sure whether she was healthy, but she was better than she’d been.

“No, it isn’t. All right, what did your mother tell you about the birds and bees?”

She laughed. “We lived in farming country. Thanks to chickens and pigs and the neighbors’ livestock, I had a pretty good idea what sex was about. Mom said—” She swallowed. “Mom said it was more complicated for humans, but she was never comfortable telling me about that part.”

Talking was becoming difficult. She’d nearly reached her limit so wanted to send Shaw a message that would lead to ending the conversation. “I’m sure that was because of her own relationship.”

“Her marriage you mean?”

“Yes. It was dysfunctional. I guess that’s the best way of putting it. She—I’m certain she wanted to make sure I didn’t make the same mistake. Unfortunately, she didn’t have enough time.”

He brought her hand up and flattened her palm against his throat. The only light in the room came from a lamp near a brown couch. He was all shadows and simmering thoughts, complex and intriguing. Scary and exciting. So close.

“Maybe I’m wrong,” he said, “but I’m guessing you haven’t had many boyfriends.”

Boyfriends. “No, I haven’t, but I’m not a virgin if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“I don’t want you to be. You deserve to have experienced intimacy.”

How many times had she felt as if she was going to cry when she was around Shaw? He had an unnerving way of saying things she had no defense against. Things she longed to hear.

He unbuttoned the top two buttons on his flannel shirt and slid her hand onto his chest. “When Boone and I were in our late teens and early twenties, our parents weren’t particularly proud of us. We were jocks, smart and confident. The opposite sex liked us and we didn’t often turn down the invitations.”

“Oh.”

He gave her a half smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m telling you this, not because I’m bragging, but because you deserve to know. I watched what Boone did to get women to notice him and learned how to do the same. He went through so many girlfriends we referred to them as the flavor of the month. Then he fell in love. I don’t know why Carol was different. I’m not sure he does either. Maybe he simply was ready to commit.”

Every word Shaw said was important. She should cling to each one, but having her hand on his bare chest made concentrating incredibly hard. Her hand rose and fell with his every breath while his heartbeat radiated throughout her. She hoped the same thing was happening to him.

“That’s the past,” he said. “I’m not after conquests. I haven’t been for a long time.”

Was that because, like his brother, he was ready to commit or was it more complicated? Maybe it had something to do with his former career.

“I don’t know what to say,” she admitted.

“You don’t have to say anything.” He looked toward the window then back at her. “We left the world behind. There’s just the two of us and Mother Nature. Winter.”

How right he was. Tonight the world didn’t exist beyond here. Only Shaw and her hunger, her need.