Taming His Montana Heart(63)

Hopefully sheltering her like he had would play a role in allowing her to forgive herself but an embrace only went so far. She needed to talk out her emotions. That would take time and someone she trusted with her deepest secrets, someone who could be honest in return. He’d finally dozed off only to wake with a message in his head.

Tell her. She deserves the kind of truth she gave you.

“Those are socks.” He pointed. “They go on your feet.”

“Oh. Seems complicated.”

Relieved to hear a lighthearted comment, he walked over to the window and looked down. Daylight was slowly making its presence known as if it wasn’t sure it was worth the effort. If he was in charge of such things, he’d tell the sun to take the day off. Once he’d done that, he’d encourage the moon and stars to return. Once he had things set up the way he wanted, the way he needed, he’d carry Haley back to bed where her body would keep the voice in his head at bay.

“Any sign of the wolf?” she asked. “I looked while you were in the shower but didn’t see anything.”

“No, sorry. Maybe he isn’t an ordinary wolf.” When she didn’t laugh, he swallowed and continued. “I’m thinking he has some, I don’t know, woo-woo in him. He’s more than…”

“Woo-woo. That makes as much sense as anything. His behavior isn’t like what I thought a wolf’s would be. Shaw?”

“What?”

“Thank you for the way you reacted last night. My confession—you don’t blame me, do you?”

“You know the answer to that.”

“I wasn’t just a victim. I played a role—”

Let it go. “You fought.”

“I instigated.”

“You did what anyone would.” Because of what he was dealing with, he’d lost sight of how off-balance she still obviously felt.

Keeping his expression neutral, he returned to the bed and sat next to her. Much as he wanted to take her hand or more, doing so would distract him from what he needed to say. “I hoped my behavior—our making love again—left no doubt of how I feel. You stood up to a bully.”

“My mother might be alive if I hadn’t—”

“Might.” He stressed the word. “Maybe she would have gotten through that day but what about the next time? Their relationship was a powder keg. It was bound to blow up.”

“We don’t know that.”

He’d seen victims of violence act like this. Much of their reaction came from a place of shock, a frantic attempt to control the uncontrollable. Victims had a hard time believing there’d been no sense and no reason for something horrible happening.

“Haley, you survived one of the worst things that can happen to a person. Look at where you are now. You manage an important part of what makes the resort successful. You’re giving Daron the support and direction he needs. No one can change the past. We live in the present and do what we can to prepare for the future.”

“The future.” She stared at her hands. “I’m so tired of replaying the past. I want to go forward.”

“You can. Honey, telling me what you did is a vital part of the journey. Give yourself credit.”

“I want to.”

“No, not want. Can and will. Healing starts with that.”

“Start? Yes.” She nodded. “How did you get so wise?”

“Blind luck?”

“Hardly. You know what I need to hear.”

“Not need, deserve.”

She dropped her socks on the bed and placed her hand on his thigh. The touch nearly undid him. “Thank you for everything you did.”

“I listened.”

“To things I’ve never told anyone.” She brightened. “Now, hopefully I’ll stop playing that tired old tape.”

“You will.”

“I love that you have faith in me.”

“There’s no doubt of that. I admire you.”

“Admire,” she muttered. “I love hearing that. Do we really have to go back to work?”

She already knew the answer, unfortunately. “Haley…”

What? She asked with her eyes, her lovely, trusting eyes.

“You need to know why I’m no longer a cop.”

“Oh.” Her mouth opened and her eyes widened. “All right.”

Was she afraid to hear the truth? No, Haley Walters wasn’t a coward.

Moments passed, during which he fought to find his way beyond his self-imposed barriers. They’d long served to protect and insulate him, but the time had come to start to put that behind him—as she’d done.

“You aren’t the only one who wishes she could erase the past. Who would give everything for something not to have happened.”

Biting her lips, she looked toward the window until he wondered if the wolf was communicating with her.

“Tell me,” she whispered.

With her simple words, he fell in love with this courageous woman. The truth was in her eyes. Whatever he said, it wouldn’t change how she felt about him. As for himself—No! He wouldn’t let anything stop him this morning.

“I killed someone.”

Haley stood and faced him with her hair tangled and her feet bare. Her expression was neutral. Almost. “As part of your job?”