Taming Alec(17)

“So, where does that leave us?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I guess we can still try the friends thing.”

I snorted.

“Okay, maybe not. We weren’t very good at that, were we?”

“No, we weren’t,” I said.

He sighed. “I care about you. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But I won’t break you, Rebecca. You’re one of the few unbroken things in this f*cked-up world.”

“I’m not a porcelain doll. I won’t shatter.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” he said softly. “You’re more breakable than you know.”

“You’re impossible, Alec! I want to pull my hair out every time I talk to you.”

He grinned. It was the first smile I’d seen from him in a long time.

“It’s part of my charm.”

“I wish you had a little less charm. It would be easier to forget you if you weren’t so charming.”

“I don’t want you to forget me,” he said quietly. “But at the same time, I do. This whole thing is so confusing.”

“Because you’re overthinking it. Maybe you should stop trying to control everything and just let things happen. It’s okay to lose control sometimes.”

His eyes darkened, and his grip on my hand tightened. “Trust me when I say you don’t want me to lose control.”

“Why not?” I asked, my voice quivering from the look he was giving me.

“If I lost control, I would f*ck you senseless.” He moved closer, a predatory look in his eyes. “I’ve thought about it a million times since I met you. I can only imagine how good you would feel.”

“Then, what’s stopping you?” I whispered.

He pulled back. “Consequences.”

“Consequences be damned.” I moved closer. “I’m tired of playing these games with you. I want you, and I know you want me. Why don’t we just put each other out of our misery?”

“You want more.”

He tried to move backward, but I wouldn’t let him. For every inch he scooted away, I followed.

“Yes, I do. I think you do, too. You just won’t admit it to yourself.”

He stared at me, obviously trying to figure out what to say. “Rebecca…”

“Look me in the eyes, and tell me you don’t want this, too. Tell me I’m making a fool of myself by practically throwing myself at you. Tell me that, and I’ll never bother you again.”

“Of course I want you! If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here. But you’re going to end up hurt if I do anything about it. You deserve better than that!”

“Why don’t you let me decide what I want?” I moved closer again. I refused to let him escape me this time.

I was tired of playing games. I wanted Alec, and he wanted me. I pulled my hand away and grabbed the bottom of my shirt. Before I could think about what I was doing, I pulled it over my head.

Alec’s eyes widened in surprise as my face heated with embarrassment. I’d never been shirtless around a man. Determined not to lose my nerve, I leaned forward and kissed him. He cupped the back of my head to pull me closer. The kiss was sweet despite the position we were in. He took his time as his tongue explored every inch of my mouth.

“If we do this, there’s no going back, Alec, not for me. If you can’t handle more than sex, you need to go,” I said when he released me.

He stared at me for what felt like an eternity as he battled with himself. I saw determination in his eyes when he finally came to a decision. My heart broke when he pushed me away and stood.

He stared down at me. “No going back,” he whispered more to himself than to me.

I shrieked when he leaned down and scooped me off the couch. “What are you doing?”

“I’m taking you to your room to f*ck you senseless.”

“Finally!” I said as he carried me back to my room.

He laughed as he tossed me onto the bed. I raised my hips as he tugged my shorts down my legs. I felt naked even though I was still in my bra and underwear. What we were about to do finally dawned on me. I was going to have sex with this man. I’d never had sex with anyone. The thought of having sex with Alec thrilled and terrified me at once. He had so much experience, and I had none. There was no way I could compete with the other women he’d been with.

I watched as he tugged his shirt over his head and dropped it to the floor. Next, he pulled his jeans off and kicked them away. My eyes roamed his nearly naked body, taking in every inch of him. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I held back. He was the one in control of this situation. He would tell me what to do.

He lay down beside me and ran his thumb across my bottom lip. “Are you sure about this?”

I nodded. “I’m terrified, but I’m sure.”

“Why are you terrified?” he asked.

I looked away, embarrassed to tell him that I was twenty-three and still a virgin.

“Hey, look at me. What’s wrong?” he asked.

When I turned back to him, he studied me, and his eyes widened in disbelief.

“You’re a virgin, aren’t you?”

I nodded, and he chuckled.

“I should have guessed. You’re a virgin, but you’re willing to do this with me? Jesus, Rebecca. That’s a lot for a man to handle.”