TABOO: THE COMPLETE SERIES(2)

I was thinking about leaving when I saw Zach emerge from the room and he looked panicked. I knew because even though Zach wasn’t saying anything, he was terrible at hiding his true emotions. Naturally, the pound of coke on top of the G didn’t help matters. “What is it, Zach?”

He looked at me, eyes wide and distressed. “I didn’t do anything!”

“Okay, you’re not making any sense…”

“That kid, he’s in the bathroom!”

“What did you do, Zach?”

“I just told you I didn’t do anything!”

“Yeah well, paired with that look that’s hardly reassuring!”

“I don’t know what happened…”

I was seriously starting to worry now. “Is he okay?”

I was almost afraid to know the answer.

No response from Zach which was not a good sign. I gathered my wits and tried to keep my composure as I walked into the room Zach and Jake had been occupying. I made my way through layers of shed clothing, and hurried to the bathroom where I saw Jake, sitting on the bathroom floor, looking straight ahead. He was sweating hard even though it was cold and rocking back and forth. He didn’t even notice when I sat right in front of him. “Jake?”

He did nothing to indicate he heard what I said so this time I yelled louder. “Jake!”

But the boy continued to stare.

Zach impatiently went up to him and shook him and Jake started to cry. Zach deals worse with people crying than he does with relationships that go beyond two fucks. “Stop that!” I yelled at Zach and tried to get through to Jake once more. “Hey, Jake. It’s okay, buddy. I’m a doctor. I can help.”

“Just fix him, Trey!”

Sometimes I think Zach sees people as dolls, as something made of plastic that need to be ‘fixed’ with a one size fits all solution. “Would you shut up!” I bellowed, hoping for Zach to give up. He did, and stood a few feet away from both of us.

I inched closer to Jake, who had stopped crying but still stared at me in a way that told me he wasn’t able to understand much of what was happening. “Jake, I need you to trust me. Can you do that?”

No nod, and I didn’t know if he understood. So, I grabbed his hand and pulled him toward me, and we both sat on the bathroom floor. I checked him for signs of overdose and he had them all. It wasn’t looking great and Zach must have known. He may not have been a doctor but he had been around enough overdoses to know that this one had come close to becoming fatal. I was afraid it still might, because when I touched his chest, Jake’s heart beat was sluggish. It scared me.

“Can’t you give him something for it?” Zach chimed in.

“There’s no antidote for G, you know that!”

“Hate these kids ODing on me,” Zach said. “There’s always one of them around. They’re good fucks but come on! Why do they have to be so fucking stupid?”

“Well, why don’t you try not bringing lethal doses of illegal substances to kids?”

“Hey, I’m not the one who gave birth to him. Why don’t you take it up with his parents? They sound like parents of the year material.”

“How old is he?”

“He said he’s nineteen.”

“Nineteen?”

“Don’t judge me, I know you want to fuck him just as much as I do!”

I would have said something, when Jake started to retch and Zach left the room entirely and left us alone this time. Some friend. I helped the kid to the bowl and let him hurl until he was done, and then took him back to the room. He looked small in Zach’s enormous bed and I dimmed the lights and got in next to him. He didn’t say a word but put an arm around me and pulled me close.

I let him.

It had been a while since I had slept with someone, literally sleep, in the same bed. He looked peaceful sleeping, even more beautiful than when he was awake, his long lashes fluttered occasionally but he didn’t wake up. It was the first time I realized I had been afraid, that I still was that something might go wrong. And I hate to say this, but something about this whole thing was giving me a weird boner. I shouldn’t have felt that way, there was nothing erotic about someone almost dying, but here I was and I didn’t know why I couldn’t control myself around this kid. I barely knew him!

I fell asleep but woke when Jake stirred and fluttered his eyes open. He looked drowsy but awake and he was staring at me. I remembered he wasn’t wearing any clothes and maybe that’s what made him think we might have done something, but I wanted to correct him. “Nothing happened,” I explained. “I’m a doctor…”

“You saved me,” Jake said, with incredulity in his voice. How was it possible that he looked even more enticing? Maybe because he was vulnerable and that made me want to protect him. He triggered something in me, something primal and instinctual.

“No one ever saves me,” he said. I could tell he was still under the influence of the drugs but at least he was awake and breathing. I wanted to tell him I would save him and protect him for as long as I lived, if he let me. I wanted to tell him a lot of things, but I couldn’t bring myself to say the words, it was too soon. “Are you okay? Can I get you something?”

“I have a secret,” Jake said, and snickered. “Don’t tell Zach or he won’t like me.”