Spiralling Skywards: Falling (Contradictions #1)(2)
I looked along the table and found Mai, Archie, and Luke, making sure to hold each of their eyes for just a moment. “Thank you Mai, Archie, and Luke for welcoming me into your family. Please trust me when I say that I fully appreciate what an honour it is that this beautiful woman you have raised and protected will now be sharing her life with me. I only hope I can do as an amazing job as you have and make her smile her one-dimpled smile at least once a day.”
I went on to thank my parents for their influence on my life and their contribution to the wedding. I thanked the rest of my family for flying over, the rest of our guests for coming, and our bridesmaids and pageboy. I handed out thank you gifts and flowers, and I thanked the caterers and the florist. When I was sure I was done, I proposed a toast to my wife and finally sat down on my still shaky legs.
The last thing I expected was for Sarah to stand and raise her glass.
“When I was growing up, I always wondered why people stared at me the way they did whilst out with my nan and grandad. They’d tilt their heads and then say something to either of my grandparents before addressing me and asking me how I was doing.”
She smiled and then her eyes met mine. It was a brief look, but so much was exchanged between us. I was so full with my love for her, that my chest expanded beyond the point of pain. There was little room for air to enter or exit my lungs or for my heart to beat in my chest. There was only her. She consumed me, and I never wanted it to change.
She broke the connection first and turned to address the room again.
“I began to call them ‘the head tilters.’ I had no clue why they did it. I wondered if that was the way all adults looked at children. Even my teachers did it sometimes. Eventually, I figured out that they only did it with me.” She paused and looked around the room. “I know some of you here today are probably wondering if you’re one of the people I’m talking about, and yeah, some of you are, but that’s nothing to feel bad about, I don’t hold a grudge. As I grew up, I began to understand the whispered words and hushed comments of ‘how sad,’ and ‘what a terrible thing to have happened.’ I began to feel more confused. Yes, I was well aware that my mum had died, and that did sometimes make me feel a little sad when I saw all the other mums waiting at the school gate, but it was only for a second. Just a very split second, because then, I would see her.”
Sarah leaned around me so she could set her gaze on Nan.
“My nan. Her beautiful blue eyes would light up as I approached her, and all was right in my world. Never in the entirety of my childhood did I feel that I was missing out because I didn’t have a mum. I didn’t need one. My nan and my grandad did their utmost to make sure any kind of loss, void, or emptiness was filled with love, light, and laughter. They stepped up at a time when they should’ve been starting to think about retirement, and they took on a three and an eleven-year-old. They showered us with love and affection, but they never spoiled us. They made sure we never went without but taught us that anything was possible with hard work. With a whole lot of input from Luke, they raised me to be a woman worthy of the love of Liam Delaney. Between them, they are responsible for making me the woman this man wanted to make his wife.”
There wasn’t a dry eye in the room. All I could hear were sniffles and the occasional sob. All I could see was Sarah.
“I promise you, Liam, I will always try to be the woman I was raised to be. I promise you, Nan, Grandad, and Luke, I will always do my best to make you proud, and I thank all three of you from the bottom of my heart for today and every day that you’ve been there for me when no one else was. I ask you all to stand now and raise a glass to Mai, Archie, and Luke, the people that guaranteed I had a future, and to Liam, the man that is my future.”
I wasn’t sure what to do. Was I supposed to stand or sit? Mai’s hand reached out and took mine.
“Do you realise how very lucky we are to have her in our lives?”
She was dabbing under her eyes with a hanky as she spoke.
“I do, Mai. It scares the shit outta me if I’m being honest with ya. I’m so worried that I’ll let her down.”
She squeezed my hand again. “Just love her, Liam. Love and protect her.”
“Protect her from who?”
“Herself mainly. When the self-doubt slips in, just reassure and remind her what an amazing person she is.”
I nodded as we both watched Luke pull his sister into his large frame and envelop her in his arms.
“You’ll have him to answer to if you don’t.” She tilted her chin in her grandson’s direction.
“Meeehhh, he’s a *. I’m more scared of you.”
“And so you bloody should be,” she said with a chuckle.
***
Hand in hand, we wandered amongst our guests. My entire family had flown over the week before, and it was the first time in a long time that I’d seen both of my parents in the same place at once.
My mum never moved on after their divorce, and my dad just separated from his third wife. I wasn’t sure if I was worried that he hadn’t left my mum’s side.
Sarah had asked both of my sisters if they’d like to be a part of the wedding, but they’d both declined, stating that one maid of honour was enough but my twin nieces, Everly and Eden, had been beyond excited to be Sarah’s “princesses” for the day. Especially when they saw their dresses.