Spiralling Skywards: Fading (Contradictions, #2)(35)

My whole body was shaking, and no matter how many times I blinked, I couldn’t see Liam through the tears. “Liam.” I managed to choke out on a broken breath.

“Our baby is okay, Sarah. You’re okay. Take a deep breath.”

I tried, repeating his words over and over in my mind until the panic ebbed.

“They showed him to you when you were in recovery, you don’t remember?”

“No. No, I don’t remember. Where is he? I need to see him.”

He kissed my hand again and then all over my face.

“Your blood pressure dropped really low, they don’t know why. The baby was showing signs of distress, so they had to do an emergency C-section.” I forced my eyes to meet his. I had surgery? My baby was okay. “He’s perfect, Sarah, he’s so small, and he looks like you I think. He’s got blond hair, loads and loads of blond hair.”

Tears dripped from Liam’s nose and onto my face.

“Can I see him? How much does he weigh? What time was he born? I missed it all.” I sobbed again as I looked around the room without finding my son.

I have a son.

“There was no choice, Sarah. You were at the side of the bed, and you shouted my name, I just got to you before you hit the floor. It all happened so fast.”

“Were you there, did you watch?”

“No.” He shook his head as he spoke the one word.

“You wasn’t there? We didn’t see? Neither of us got to see him born?”

“They had to be quick. They gave you a general and couldn’t wait for me to dress in. They held him up to me to see, though, and I’ve just been to see him in the baby unit. He’s five pounds one ounce or two point two nine kilos. He’s an excellent weight for being early, and he’s breathing on his own.”

“I wanna see him.” I couldn’t stop crying. I was so upset that I missed my son being born. After everything we had been through, we both missed it. My whole body was shaking, and I had no control over the way my jaw was chattering.

The door opened and my obstetrician walked in, followed by Kim.

“You okay, Mrs Delaney? Why the tears? You gave us a bit of a scare there, but everything went just fine and both you and the baby are doing great.”

“I wanna see my baby,” I spoke through gritted teeth, as it was the only way I could stop the rattling.

The blood pressure cuff went off, and Kim moved around the bed to take a reading. A soft tsk noise sounded from where she stood, but then she put the thermometer in my ear and took a reading from that, too.

“I’m gonna put the oxygen mask on you for a little while and raise the end of your bed. I think all of this has been a bit of a shock to you, my love, and your blood pressure has dropped a little low again.”

I watched as Liam’s hand went to the back of his neck, and he slid off the bed and out of the doctor’s way. He looked as tense as I felt. The nurse shot him a look as she slid a mask over my nose and mouth, and he dropped his hand and sat on the other side of the bed.

“I wanna see my baby, Liam. Make them bring him in here.” I didn’t give a shit about blood pressure or oxygen I just wanted to see my son . . .

“All in good time. Let’s get you stable and then we’ll wheel you down to him. Do we have a photo?” The doctor pissed me off by answering for him.

“I don’t wanna photo. I wanna see my son.” I tried to speak with the mask over my face, but no one listened.

“I have some on my phone,” Liam offered as he shifted to pull his phone out.

Overwhelming panic rose in my chest, and I pulled off the mask delivering oxygen so I could talk.

“No. No. I don’t want pictures, I wanna see my son. Take me to see my baby. Liam, please, I just wanna see him. Please.” I was sobbing and talking through huge gasping breaths…

His eyebrows pinched into a frown so tight it caused lines in his forehead as he looked between the doctor and me. I didn’t know why I noticed this but I did. I concentrated on those lines and tried to calm myself down.

“Can we just wheel the baby down here and let her see him?”

“Well, I’ll have to ask the paediatrician. I’m not entirely sure if that will be possible. Kim, could you find out for me.”

“He’s my baby. You can’t stop me from seeing him. I’ll get up and walk down there if you don’t bring him here.”

“Sarah. Calm down. Kim will get it sorted, but you need to calm down.”

“Of course,” Kim said, offering a smile that was just a bit too tight. “I’m sure it won’t be a problem. Your little man’s a champ. He’s doing just great, Sarah. You calm yourself down, and we’ll set something up.”

The doctor didn’t seem impressed with her response his disapproval twisted his lips into a thin line, making me want to smack him in his smug face. This was all his fault.

“How about a nice cup of tea and some toast in the meantime?”

I shook my. “I don’t want toast. I just wanna see my baby.”

Kim gave me another sympathetic smile. “I’ll have them send something up just in case you get hungry.”

“That’d be great, Kim, thanks,” Liam said before I could turn her down again.

“Well, Kim seems to have everything under control. We’ll keep monitoring that blood pressure of yours since it’s still a bit erratic. If you don’t have any questions, I’ll leave you to it.”