Spiralling Skywards: Fading (Contradictions, #2)(18)

As I turned into my court, I spotted my brother’s car on my drive parked next to Liam’s, and I started to vibrate from my head to my toes in anticipation of being in the company of others and trying to hold on to my secret for just a little bit longer.

The double doors that led into my house were wide open, and I could hear Liam and my brother talking and laughing from my family room. I walked in to find Luke standing on a chair and supporting a Christmas tree that was about touching the ceiling, while Liam attempted to set the base in a large cast iron pot.

“How’s it looking now?” Liam asked my brother.

“Still looks like it’s on the piss to me.”

“How on the piss?”

“About a half bottle of vodka pissed.”

“Shit.”

“You better get a level on this thing, you know my sister, she’ll come straight through those doors and say . . .”

“It’s wonky. You need to move it more to the right, Luke.”

“Yep, exactly that.” My brother looked around at me and smiled.

Liam looked up from the floor, his smile almost dazzling me with its brilliance, and my heart rate revved up a few notches in speed as he stood and strode towards me. We’d made a baby, him and me. I’d created a new life, a new human being with this man. I had to fight with myself not to just blurt it out and tell him. I even had to focus to remain breathing as he stood in front of me.

“Fuck, I’ve missed you, bub.”

I was wrapped in his arms, and his mouth and tongue were assaulting mine with such speed and intensity that my head spun.

“Dude. What the fuck? You can’t just leave me on a chair holding on to your tree while you have sex with my sister. It’s wrong on so many levels. It’s just out and out—”

“Shut the fuck up, Luke,” Liam said against my mouth before pulling away from me.

“Who’s having sex? What am I missing? Why are you up a chair holding a tree?” Sasha asked as she walked through the opened door. “I have wine, shall I just sit on the sofa, pour a drink and watch the show?”

Liam rested his forehead against mine, still smiling.

“You taste of fresh air and mint.”

“You taste like alcohol and mint.”

“Yeah, we had another little tipple, hair of the dog, ya know? We were both feeling a bit shabby this morning.”

“Lucky shabby. I’ve felt nothing since Monday.”

“Are you two for fucking real? I’m stuck standing here on a tree. I don’t need to be hearing this shit.” Luke complained again.

“You’re on a chair.” Sasha corrected him.

“What?”

“You’re on a chair, you said you were ‘on a tree’, but you’re on a chair holding the tree. Sorry to burst your bubble, but you’re not pretty enough to be a fairy, not famous enough to be a star, and something tells me you lost your angel wings a very long time ago.”

My brother was silent for a few long moments and just stared at Sash. I watched his Adam’s apple move as he swallowed hard. My brother looked lost, sad almost, and the silence became uncomfortable as he and Sash continued to stare at each other.

“Help him with the tree,” I told Liam before kissing his cheek and stepping away.

***

It felt like it had been forever since the four of us hung out but that was exactly what we spent the rest of Saturday doing.

The boys finally set the tree straight and then headed off in search of beer while Sasha helped me decorate. By decorate, I meant I allowed her to pass me things while I placed them on the tree. There was an art to these things, and Sash had neither the artistic direction nor the patience. So, I knew if I let her near my tree, I would only end up taking it down once she left and redoing it.

“You okay up there, Mrs Smiley Face?” Sasha asked. She had stopped handing me things about a half hour ago and was siting on the couch cross-legged with my red-and-gold Christmas tree beads wound around her neck. There were also two big gold bows clipped to her T-shirt, right in front of each of her nipples.

Trying to deflect, I looked down at her and laughed, asking, “What are you doing with my decorations?”

“Playing dress up. Why are you smiling so big?”

I paused what I was doing and smiled down at her.

“I’m happy, Sash. This is our first Christmas in our new home as a married couple. I know Nan and Grandad won’t be here and neither will you, but I’m really looking forward to having Liam and Luke all to myself for a few days, just chilling and doing nothing.”

“D’you think I’m doing the right thing, flying all the way over there to spend Christmas with Shain?”

I climbed down from the stepladder I had been standing on—the chair Luke had been using didn’t add enough height for me—and sat on the sofa opposite Sasha.

“Is Australia where you wanna be spending Christmas?”

“Not really, but it’s where Shain is, and I wanna spend Christmas with him.”

She passed me her wine, and I pretended to take a sip before passing it back.

“Well then, there’s your answer.”

“Yeah, but it’s costing me so much money, and I have to take part of my leave unpaid.”

“But you just said you wanted to spend Christmas with Shain. If you’re taking the cost into account . . .” I trailed off and shrugged my shoulders.