Sins, Lies & Spies (Black Brothers #2)(56)
Anger surged through my veins, but I tamped it down as fast as it came. Yelling at her wouldn’t help. It’d only push her further away, and I sure as hell didn’t want to force any more distance between us.
“So you’re going to play by his rules and keep his secret as long as he wants.”
“I can’t answer that question right now. I haven’t decided what the end game is. Our lives are tied together—”
“Dammit, Trinity.” I clenched my jaw, barely holding my temper in check. “This isn’t just about keeping the Benton family skeletons in the closet. He’s the Speaker of the House, and he’s allowing a foreign government to sway his decisions. His votes. Everything, so he can spare his family the embarrassment of a two-decade-old scandal. Wake up. He’s endangering national security. Don’t you get it? There’s no going back anymore. Just like Lang, he’s going to lose everything. It’s only a matter of time. Once I have enough evidence, he will resign.”
Her eyes widened. “What kind of evidence are you looking for?”
I shrugged. “Anything that definitely demonstrates he’s changed his votes or actions under the threat of blackmail. It could be as simple as the testimony of someone with insider knowledge.”
Her face whitened, and it hit me. She knew. He told her everything. She’d been holding back. “Trinity, did he confess to you?”
“Stop. I can’t talk about it.” She covered her face, shaking her head. “I’ll get him to come clean, so neither of us has to worry about someone holding it over our heads in the future. I can’t deal with the rest right now.”
Stunned, I propped my elbow on the fireplace mantle, my head leaning against my hand. “You have to tell me what you know.”
She pressed her open palm against my chest, her eyes wide and pleading. “Please, Knox, give me a couple of days to get Derrick to do the right thing before you make me turn on him.”
“Fucking hell.” My hand pummeled the wall. The picture of Trinity and her sister clattered to the floor, tiny glass shards showering the slab marble hearth. “Why did you lie to me?”
A tortured groan escaped her parted lips. “I didn’t lie. Not really. I just didn’t tell you.”
Anger wrapped around me and my chest tightened. “An omission and a lie are the same f*cking thing.”
Tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes and a strangled sob tumbled from her lips. “I’m sorry. I wanted to exhaust all our alternatives before I told you. I know it was wrong, maybe even a little delusional, but I thought I could find a loophole that would make everyone happy.”
My teeth locked together. I needed to get out of here. I couldn’t look at her. I f*cking loved this woman. I told her some of my darkest secrets. I invited her into my life, and she didn’t even trust me. I stalked to the front door without looking at her.
“You have forty-eight hours.”
She grabbed my hand, her eyes wild. “Don’t hate me. Don’t push me away.”
I scoffed, bitter, cutting laughter flowing from my mouth. “You’re the one doing the pushing, not me, darling.” My voice was hard and mocking, but I couldn’t stop myself. Her lack of trust made me feel like she’d hollowed out my chest with a spoon.
“Oh my God.” She tugged on the front of my shirt. “Please tell me I didn’t ruin us.”
I threw my hands into the air. “Why do you care? You already told me you needed space. There is no us.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so f*cking sorry.” She draped her arms around my shoulders, bringing her body flush against mine. It felt right to have her in my arms, which only pissed me off more. “This is killing me. You’re the only thing that’s kept me sane in the past month. I wish this would all go away, and I could concentrate on you because I’m falling so hard for you. You know that, right?” She tipped up her head, her dark gaze meeting mine. “But wishing and hoping won’t change reality. I need to work things out with Derrick and figure out a solution I can live with.”
Tired of all the games, secrets, and lies, I pried her arms off my neck. “Like I said, you have forty-eight hours. That’s all I can give you. After that, you’re on your own. I can’t wait any longer. I have a job to do.”
“Thank you. I’ll make it work.” She brushed her hand down the side of my face. “When this is behind us, do you think you can find it in your heart to give me a second chance?” I opened my mouth to respond, and she pressed a finger to my lips. “You don’t have to answer now. I just wanted to put it out there so you know how I feel. My decision to put space between us has nothing to do with how I feel about you.”
Uncertainty billowed between us. She fisted her hands in my shirt, her chocolate eyes rife with confusion and insecurity. I’d never seen such depth in a pair of eyes. I wanted to pull her into my arms, but I didn’t. I stepped back, breaking her hold. As my hand curled around the door handle, a million sentiments swirled on the tip of my tongue, begging for freedom.
I wanted to tell her I loved her.
That I’d wait for her.
That I needed her in my life.
I didn’t say any of those things. Instead, the anger won out, and I drove a stake into both our hearts. “Don’t worry about us. You made the right choice. Just don’t do anything stupid. We still don’t know who’s behind the notes.” My words were subdued, sullen. I shook my head, hating myself for acting like a * and hating her for being able to walk away from me so easily.