Sins, Lies & Spies (Black Brothers #2)(55)

She shifted uneasily. “I sent you a text. Didn’t you get it?”

“I did, but it wasn’t much of an explanation.” I peered over her shoulder, my hand resting on the doorframe. “Can I come in?”

Staring at the floor, she scraped her teeth over her lower lip. “Sure.” She opened the door wider, and I stepped inside. She didn’t say anything, so I filled the space with meaningless words. “The place looks good.”

She blew out a ragged breath. “Knox, why did you come here tonight?”

This woman had me on edge. Somehow or another, without even trying, she’d managed to climb inside my head and screw up all my plans. I’d been content with my life until she’d stormed into Lang’s study with her gun pointed at me. I never imagined I would get so wrapped up in a woman that I would want her at my side and in my life as much as I did with Trinity.

It happened too fast, almost like a train wreck. I had this preconceived notion that when I hit my mid-thirties, I’d get bored with the status quo and slowly but surely move to the next step in life—a more permanent girlfriend or even a wife. But this heady, nerve-wracking, merry-go-round with Trinity was insane. And here was the biggest mind f*ck of all—if I were honest with myself, I’d have to admit the feelings I had for Trinity sure as hell resembled love, and I never planned on love.

My mom fell in and out of love as fast as the wind shifted. She always thought the next love affair would be her salvation, but every last one of those men used her. And she let it happen. She served herself up on a silver platter over and over again. As crude as it sounded, she was a high paid escort with a Pretty Woman fantasy. Love ruined people, or at least I thought so, but now something told me I had it all wrong. Maybe love wasn’t about ruin or salvation. Maybe it was about living your life with the one person who made it bigger, brighter and more worthwhile.

I rubbed the back of my neck. “I missed you tonight. I couldn’t sleep.”

She shuffled her bare feet. “I…I don’t know what to say.”

“Just say what’s going on in your head. Tell me why you changed your mind about staying with me tonight,” I said calmly.

She tugged on the hem of her shirt. “I don’t know where to start.”

I shoved my hands into my pockets. “Start with the truth.”

“I just needed a break from us.” She rolled her shoulders back. “I’m confused and I wanted some alone time.”

My muscles tensed, and I balled my hands into fists, my gut sinking. Maybe I misunderstood everything, and I’d been wrong to think the past few days had been anything more than a fleeting affair. “About what?”

Sighing, she took a couple steps back. “I just ended things with Miles. My life as I know it is dangling from a thread. I’m worried about Derrick and my sister. I don’t know. I’m pretty much a mess.”

Hurt twisted inside my gut. “Is this your way of ending things between us?”

“It’s just one night.” She rolled her head in a circle. “Maybe two.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “Is it?”

“I don’t know, Knox.” She wrung her hands in front of her chest. “I just feel like this is going too fast, and I wanted to take a step back.”

A large part of me wanted her to give us a stay of execution and draw this out for another night. But every second I spent with her would only make it tougher to walk away later.

“I’m an adult, Trinity. We both are. You don’t have to dance around your feelings in order to spare mine. Just say what you want instead of dragging this out.”

“I like you. A lot. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you for the past few weeks. You’ve supported me, you put my home back together, and you’ve given me a place to stay. So many things.” She swallowed. “But we need to go back to the real world. You’ve got your company to run, you have to finish your case and all the stuff that goes along with that.”

“Wow.” My eyebrows shot up my forehead. “So that’s it? You’re done with us?”

She trained her gaze on the floor. “I think it’s probably for the best. At least temporarily, anyway.”

I tipped up her chin, forcing her to look at me. “For who? You? Me? Miles? Or your brother?”

She shook her head. “I’m not saying this is it forever. It’s just no for right now. I need to get this sorted out with Derrick, and I don’t want to drag you through the inevitable minefield with me.”

I ran my fingertips down her arm. “I don’t care about that. You need someone to support you. Let me be there for you, even if it’s only as a friend. I’m not giving up on us.”

“Thank you for the offer.” She smiled gently. “But this is something I need to do alone, and I always have Leslie.”

“Have you heard from Derrick?”

She kept her face carefully blank. “No.”

“Will you call me when you meet with him? I want to go with you.” Trinity might feel comfortable with him, but I didn’t trust him.

“Knox.” She drew out my name. “I can’t bring you with me. You’re investigating him and even though he may have done something wrong, I won’t facilitate his downfall. He may not have been part of my life for long, but he’s still my half-brother, and I need all the family I can get. I don’t want him to alienate me forever because I destroyed his life.”