See How She Runs (The Chronicles of Izzy #1)(68)

“Why didn’t you tell me, Izzy? Is it still that bad?" he asked with desperation.

“You almost died. I didn’t want to add that on top of it," I whispered.

“You didn’t answer me, is it still that bad?" he growled.

“Yes," I choked out as the tears came unbidden.

“Fuck, I am blocking you, do you understand. You can’t go through that every night," he said as he stood and started pacing the room.

“I don’t want to be blocked. I have to figure out how to stop it. But, it just feels real still. I don’t know if they are just remnants of my time there or if it is still happening. I can’t be blocked off if I ever want to find out."

“It will eventually kill you, Izzy. I mean look at you. I am coming into the dreaming with you tonight."

“You don’t want to see what happens there," I said, not wanting him to suffer through my own personal hell.

“I am coming, end of conversation. We are going to put an end to this. I am getting you back, Izzy. Do you understand me? I will not let them strip away your goodness until all that is left of you is an empty shell."

I choked back a sob as it threatened to escape. I did not know what I was supposed to do to fight any harder. I was doing the best I could. I feared Kennan no longer wanted me. I would not want me. He was right. I was a husk of my former self.

He lowered himself in front of me as I sat on the edge of the bed. He looked up into my eyes and I saw pain written there. He hurt for me the way I hurt for him. I couldn’t hold back the sob any longer.

“I’m just so tired Kennan. I am tired of fighting. I am tired of being strong. I tried to be strong for you. I did, but I don’t think I can anymore."

“Well then I will be strong enough for both of us." His gravelly voice was like a balm to my soul.

He forced me to meet his eyes once more and just looked at me. A thousand emotions played behind his eyes. Regret, fear, anger, compassion, and most of all love swirled in their depth. I stared back as the tears streamed down my cheeks.

“I love you. No matter what happens, nothing will change that. Do you understand me?" he said.

“But what if I don’t get better? I don’t want you to be with someone like this. I can’t do that to you," I whimpered and knew that it was the truth. I loved him too much to force him to stay with me as I wasted into nothing.

He stood up and pushed me back on the bed. He lowered himself over my body effectively caging me in. He looked me over assessing me. I started to avert my glance, afraid that I would find repulsion in his eyes. He took his hand and held my face in place, forcing me to meet his gaze once more.

“I am here. Now, tomorrow, the next day and the rest of forever. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, can take me away from you. I fought for too long against myself, against Xavier. Now that I really and truly have you, there is no escape. Got it?" he said as he stared at my lips.

“Got it," I whispered. I licked my lips under his steady gaze which caused him to moan.

He lowered his weight on top of my body as his lips met my own. His kiss was a slow prayer that soon built into a frenzy. It was as though we could not get enough of each other. He kissed down my chin and neck and back up. I wrapped my legs around his back and tried to pull myself as close to him as our clothes would allow. He pulled away and looked down at me. The heat burning behind his eyes caused a similar heat to pool bellow my belly.

He looked at me questioningly. I understood what he was asking without any words and I started to pull his shirt off in an answer. Once it was off, I stared at his glorious torso. His muscles rippled in all the right places. I ran my hands down his chest and traced the scar from where he had been shot. I set about tracing each of his tattoos with my hands my mouth following close behind. I had dreamed of kissing his skin a thousand times. Those wretched dreams paled in comparison to the reality.

The heat of his skin met my lips as I slowly explored his torso. He growled and pushed me back down onto the bed pulling my shirt off in the process. He pulled a breath in through his teeth as he took in the sight of me. He landed a brief kiss to my lips before working his way down my neck, my collar bone, and finally just between my breasts. The scruff from his five o’clock shadow gently scratching as he went causing bumps to rise all over my body.

He kissed down the rest of my torso to my hipbone, causing me to raise my hips up to meet him. He took his hands and removed my pants slowly, leaving me lying in only my underwear. He kissed further down as he removed my jeans. I moaned and I longed for more. I needed him in a way that I had never known I could need anything.

He stood and looked down at me.

“Are you sure this is what you want, Izzy? Because there is no going back," Kennan said in a voice that almost sounded menacing.

“I have never been surer of anything in my life," I said, pulling him back to the bed while unhooking his pants.

He pushed his jeans off, revealing all of his glorious perfection. He bent over me and pulled away the last barrier between us. We spent the next few hours playing out every scenario I had ever dreamed. I could not get enough of him. Each time I cried out he would push me farther. I was sure anyone remotely close to us would be requesting a room change the next day. I did not care though. I had waited far too long for Kennan and now I had him.

We were entwined in one another. My legs wrapped in and around his and I rested my head on his chest. His heartbeat was a steady rhythm that soothed my weary soul. I lay there, unable to speak as he ran his fingers up and down my back, memorizing the contours of my body. I sighed, if I were to die today, I would die happy.