See How She Runs (The Chronicles of Izzy #1)(65)

He just looked at me and smiled. All of the guilt seemed to melt away in his eyes and he motioned for me to climb up on the bed with him. I was skeptical that it would be conducive to his healing, but he convinced me with a hard look that left no room for argument.

I climbed up beside him and pulled the blankets around us. Luckily the hospital beds here were almost queen sized. Although, with Kennan, it still did not leave me much room. I basked in his warmth and snuggled my body as close to his as I could manage without infringing upon the duties of the medical monitors and tubes. I sighed contentedly and found that I was at real peace for the first time since this whole thing had begun.





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The fog surrounded me and I heard the crunch of steps behind me. I looked over my shoulder but could not find anyone. I started to run without any real direction. I slowed when I came to the edge of an all too familiar forest. I looked behind me once more to see if I could find the person following me.

In place of a person I heard the howl of wolves. I cried out and ran as fast as I could. I did not want to be torn to shreds again. I could not handle it. I tripped over a root and fell hard on my stomach. I whimpered in pain and hoped that they did not find me again. I crawled over to a tree as I spotted the first pair of oddly illuminated eyes. The wolves descended and as I curled into the fetal position I remembered I could get out.

I tried to pull my focus to reality and started to shout in frustration as the wolves began shredding me apart.





**********





I was being shaken by the doctor. He looked down at me with fear in his eyes, and I noticed that I had wrapped my hands around his throat and I was squeezing. Kennan pulled on my arms and I dropped them to my sides as I stared at the doctor in abject horror. I had shot out and almost hurt this complete stranger without even realizing it.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean," I said, unable to finish the sentence.

“Are you alright Miss Boone?" the doctor asked as he rubbed his throat.

“It was just a dream." I was trying to convince myself as much as I was trying to give an explanation.

“It was the wolves again," I added, as though they should all know what I was talking about.

“Will you allow me to check your vitals?" the doctor asked with concern.

I started to object, but Kennan gripped my arm tightly, forcing me to make eye contact with him. He gave me a hard expression that brooked no opposition. Hidden in the depth of his eyes was barely masked concern.

“Yeah, but I am fine. I am more worried about any damage I might have done to you or Kennan," I said, looking back at Kennan to see if I had pulled out any of his tubes inadvertently.

“I’m fine," Kennan croaked.

“You, stop talking. You are not going to recover your vocal chords if you keep pushing," the doctor admonished. “And you, I think it would be best if you slept elsewhere until Mister O’Malley fully recovers. He had to push the alert button to call us in. You were screaming and thrashing when we got here. You might inadvertently hurt him if these dreams continue.”

He set about checking my vitals, and my eyes began to fill with tears. I did not want to hurt anyone. I did not want to be the kind of person that was capable of that sort of thing. I understood the concern for safety, but I was terrified to be away from him. I sat there trying to numb my pain. I found myself growing increasingly more and more agitated as the seconds passed. Xavier might be dead, but he had taken his toll on me in a way that marked my very soul.

The doctor finished checking my vitals and informed me that I needed to go to the living quarters for the rest of the evening. He gave me time to tell Kennan goodbye, but waited just outside the door. I looked back over to Kennan and felt an immense sense of guilt. I selfishly wanted to stay with him. I could not risk it though.

“I’m sorry," I said before brushing my lips across his and rising to leave.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me back to him.

“We will get better." He whispered his declaration and I hoped against all hope that he was right.

The doctor led me to the second floor. Along the way several people stopped and looked at me. Some seemed curious. Most seemed afraid. The doctor located the room he had been looking for after a second look at his clipboard. He knocked on the door and Molly opened it moments later.

“Miss Boone will be joining you. You should be aware that she has dreams from which she cannot wake, and may have violent outbursts as a result. If you feel unsafe with her we can make other arrangements," the doctor said clinically.

I suddenly felt very tired. I looked up at Molly and hoped that she would not turn me away. I was bereft and I had a feeling it would be a long road before I ever felt like myself again.

“Oh, shove it white coat. And you stop looking so sad and get in here," Molly said grabbing my hand. She pulled me into the room and practically slammed the door in the doctor’s face.

“Thanks, but he is right. I almost choked him back in Kennan’s room. It might not be safe," I said, afraid I would find the same fear in Molly’s eyes.

“Yeah, like I can’t just jump in your head and yell at you. Come on, we are fine. Plus, it is ridiculously boring in here on my own," Molly said, pulling me further into the room.

We spent the rest of the night talking. I told her all that had transpired between Kennan and me. It was nice to have a girl to talk about all of my mushy feelings with. It was also nice to escape the darkness that seemed to be lingering around my periphery. I could not shake it. I told her the events that had led me to being booted from the recovery room. She shook her head and promised I was fine.