See How She Falls (The Chronicles of Izzy #3)(7)
“So, are all of you still around? I mean, the Old Ones. Are y’all just drifting around in the fog waiting for some metaphysical bell to ring and bring you back to this plane? More importantly, you never answered the immortal question.”
“I don’t know about my brothers, where their fates have led them. All I know is of my own existence. I am as eternal as the gods will me to be. I have no way of knowing if this curse, this existence, will be your fate as well.” His face fell as he looked upon me. I knew that my chances weren’t looking all that great.
“There is something else I want to know.” I hesitated, unsure I was really ready to hear the answer. I breathed out just as he pulled a classic Aberto.
“Our time is up for now, Izzy. I shall return when you need me.” And just like that he was gone. The son of a biscuit eating, question avoiding, pain in my arse.
Chapter Four
I got up from the chair and stretched out my tense muscles. The stress of the past months weighed heavy on me as I made my way toward the door and another talk that couldn’t wait any longer. It was time that Kennan and I got to the root of our problems. There was absolutely no way I could face whatever was coming if I was constantly worried about where we stood. I needed him to be normal again, or at least treat me the way he used to.
As I rested my hand on the door knob, I inhaled slowly. This was something I couldn’t avoid. I opened the door and stared out at my Guardian. He was sitting against the wall staring down at his folded hands. His brow creased with worry or anger, I wasn’t sure which.
“Kennan?” my voice was barely above a whisper.
“Done so soon?” his icy response chilled me.
“We need to talk.” I finally found my voice. I wouldn’t be treated like some sort of wayward child for something that was so wholly out of my control. “Now," I said, pointing to the interior of the office.
“I’m not sure what there is to say, Izzy," He mumbled as he made his way in.
“Well, if you don’t have anything to say, you can just listen to me.” I closed the door and locked it before turning back toward Kennan. “Sit, this is going to take a while.” I motioned towards the chair with my head.
“Fine, I’m sitting. What do you want to talk about?” Kennan threw himself into the chair looking at me defiantly the whole way down.
“Really, Kennan? What do I want to talk about? I want to talk about us. I want to know what in the Hades is going on between us. Besides the obvious stuff, the unfixable stuff, something has shifted. Do you not want to be with me anymore?” My eyes brimmed with tears I refused to shed.
“Of course I want to be with you. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just…," Kennan trailed off.
“What, Kennan? I’ve been going crazy these past two months. With everything going on, the one thing that was my constant was always you. Until lately, that is. So, please, just tell me. We can’t keep going on like this. I can’t keep having to worry that I’m doing something wrong.”
“It’s just, him. He is always there. He just pops in whenever he feels like you need something and you never once turn him away. But that isn’t all, Izzy. I’m starting to wonder if you would rather have this life than the one we had back at the farmhouse. I feel like I’m losing you - losing us.”
“I would rather have this life? Really, Kennan?” I could barely keep the anger and hurt from my tone. My chest felt heavy. I couldn’t understand it, how could he be so completely wrong? I choked back a sob as I continued, trying to get every word out around my uncontrollable tears. “You think that I would rather be here, getting branded by some invisible force? I didn’t choose this life, Kennan. I don’t know if you remember this past year all that well, but at no point did I say, 'Gee, saving the world sounds like a terrific new hobby.' I don’t want this anymore than you do, but this is where we are. I refuse to let more people get hurt just so that I can be selfish. If you ever knew me at all, you would know that.”
“Of course I know you, Izzy!” Kennan shouted, raising from his seat. “I just feel like you took all of this on without any thought to what you were giving up.”
“Every second of every day, I think about what that life would’ve been like. So don’t accuse me of not missing it, of not knowing what I’ve lost.” Sobs racked my body as I let everything I’d held back for the past months pour from my mouth. “I miss it. I miss waking up to you in the farmhouse, of feeling safe and blocked out from the world. I miss us. But there is absolutely no way I could ever live with myself if I chose that life when it means letting so many other people suffer.” I folded my arms around my stomach, trying to keep the gaping chasm from ripping any wider. I missed Kennan. I missed our old life, but I knew that it was gone.
Kennan moved toward me wrapping his arms around me. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t think I would ever have to give you up. I never imagined you would be the girl from the prophecy, Izzy. I’ve just felt like you’ve been plowing forward and leaving me behind with your old life, as if you don’t need me anymore.”
“Don’t need you? Have you lost your damn mind, Kennan O’Malley? I will always need you. Always.” I wrapped my arms tightly around him, trying to hold on to the only anchor I had in this chaotic world.