See How She Awakens (The Chronicles of Izzy #4)(45)
“Okay, listen. I get it. I’m acting all weird and like my old self. Uriel did something to me. I think he felt guilty, or sorry for me, or something. I don’t know. But he put some sort of angel whammy on me before shoving me back to the only place I’m permitted to exist. Well, according to him. I can’t go to heaven or hell, so I’m stuck here for all eternity, and so he took away the oppressive grief. Not to say I’m not still sad, but I can’t do that anymore. Live every last day barely keeping my head above water. Oh, and I absorbed the darkness. So there is that.” Word vomit poured from my mouth, an unstoppable stream of information I wanted to be rid of. There were more important things on the line. Like how did I die, and most importantly, how did Damali die?
“There will be time to discuss all that Izzy has just revealed, but perhaps we should help her to understand what has happened these past months in her absence.” Mona motioned for us to sit.
I was pretty sure I’d burnt this couch to a crisp, but maybe they’d had a spare lying around somewhere. I lowered myself onto the chair as everyone moved about the room, dragging chairs so we all sat in what might as well be a group therapy circle.
A laugh bubbled up inside of me as I thought about it. Seers and Guardians Anonymous. Inappropriate. Squash that thought down. At least when I’d been burdened by the unbearable grief and the taunting of the darkness, my mind hadn’t had time to inappropriately cope with situations. Pros of being grief stricken: no rampant thoughts, appropriate situational reactions, and general normalizing of behavior. Con of being back to myself: being back to myself.
Aberto tilted his head towards me in question. Shaking mine in return, I tried to focus.
“Can someone please explain to me what the chasm is?” I looked at Eleanor, knowing she was probably the one with the most information.
“The chasm is a place of great darkness. Much like the void, it can cause madness if one lingers there for too long. It is used to kill people, Izzy. When a soul is sent there, the body deteriorates, and then the soul moves on to another plane. Be it heaven or hell, they leave. Your body didn’t die, so you remained in the chasm,” Eleanor examined me. Perhaps I had gone a little mad in the darkness.
“It was really dark,” I responded, lamely. “So, Damali sent me there thinking I would die?”
“I believe she had been sending souls there in an attempt to use the bodies as vessels to be inhabited by darkness incarnate. When she used it on you, I think it was more out of desperation than any well thought out plan.” Eleanor’s face brought a smile to mine. I could see the thoughts actively flitting through her eyes. Her mind was racing in a thousand different directions at once.
“Why didn’t she just put darkness in them to coexist with the souls?” I asked.
“Izzy, most souls aren’t as strong as yours. Yours has been fortified through love and sacrifice a thousand times over. You’ve become something more than any of us will ever be,” Mona explained.
“So, because I’m a freak, I can contain darkness? But she tried to get me to put darkness into a Seer, right here in this office. She tried to make me infect someone.” The memory crawled across my skin, causing me to shiver. The smell of burnt flesh lingered in my nose as I thought of Francesca and how I’d let the darkness consume her.
“Loopholes. There are always loopholes. You were, for lack of a better term, infected by Sonneillon’s darkness. As such, you were part demon. Demons are able to possess humans, Seers, and Guardians alike,” Aberto supplied.
“Am,” I muttered.
“Pardon?” Confusion etched Aberto’s brow.
“I am part demon. It’s still there. It’s different now than it was, but it is still there.” Suddenly, my hands seemed very interesting. Okay, so in truth, I was afraid to look at the faces of the people I loved. I didn’t want to see revulsion or fear staring back.
“I don’t believe that to be true,” Eleanor piped up.
“I was there. I’m pretty sure I absorbed the darkness into me. My flames went all wonky, turning from red to blue then purple. If I’m not part demon, then what am I?”
“There was a line missing from the prophecy. We found it while trying to figure out why you weren’t burning in the funeral ceremony.” It should’ve bugged me that Eleanor was so flippant with the whole burning my body thing, but it didn’t.
“Of course there was a missing line.” If I had a nickel for every time there was something left out of the prophecy, I would be a rich woman. Okay, so I might only have like a dollar, but still. That’s quite a few nickels. “What does it say?”
“When the time dawns, the Seer will Awaken. She will reign as the balance incarnate all the days of the earth,” Eleanor read off of the page in her lap. Where had that paper come from? She was like a book ninja.
“So I’m the balance incarnate? What does that even mean?” I looked around the room, hoping someone had an answer.
“I believe you are two equal halves, dark and light,” Aberto supplied.
“Does that mean if the good guys are winning too much I’m going to stir up the darkness?” I really didn’t want to play both sides.
“No, it means you will be able to anticipate the darkness in ways we’ve never been able to before. The darkness always presses forth more on our plane than the light,” Mona answered.