Saviour (Saviour #1)(8)
Why. Why the f*ck did I tell him that? God I'm a mess! I look up, directly into his eyes and give the slightest of smiles, feeling very embarrassed. He leans towards me, and my stomach lurches as I wonder again what he is going to do. The whole bar and its occupants seem to vanish around us as he uses the pad of his thumb to wipe away a tear from under my eye then he puts his thumb in his mouth and sucks, never breaking eye contact with me.
Oh my god, that was, possibly, one of the sexiest things I have ever seen! Was my mouth wide open again?? Unconsciously, I raise my hand to make sure my mouth is closed. It is.
“Shit! That's not good; does he know you’re leaving him?"
I shake my head, and another tear escapes, he wipes it away again, pulling me towards him by my hand.
He shrugs his shoulders and says “Poor bloke. He's in for a bit of a shock then. I’m guessing he will be doing the crying when he finds out he’s losing you” He shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head “Well, I'm all ears, if you wanna talk Lauren, I may not be good at polite conversation with women, but I am a good listener to their problems, I have a sister and sister in laws, who love to share. I'll go get us another drink, while you have a think about it… I am sorry I made you cry, it's the last thing I would ever want to do” Then leaning into my ear, “unless it's out loud, during a moment of pleasure”
WTF OMFG! Can’t think of any more but you get my point. He smells unbelievable; I’m not exactly sure what the fragrance is but it’s clean and fresh and so f*cking sexy. This is too much, he is too much, not only is he as hot as a hot thing but he is actually a really nice bloke, really nice, too nice maybe? My thought are a muddled mess, is he for real or is this just a game to him, am I just a bit more of a challenge, something a bit different for his Friday night, what am I thinking, what am I doing? I'm a 45 year old married woman, I'm standing in a bar, letting a man of 35ish, hit on me and buy me dinks. A f*cking hot, sex god looking man granted but even so, what am I thinking? I have never been unfaithful to my husband. I have kissed other men on only two occasions, once when he was planning on leaving me and just last year, when I had gone out with the girls the night after Jay pulled my hair and smashed my head into a wall during an argument. That was a drunken revenge pash that made me feel a lot better about myself. I had proceeded to go home to my husband and have hot, wild, drunken makeup sex with him...
But right now, right at this moment, I can’t wait for Gabriel Wilde to make me cry out loud with pleasure, because I know, as sure as I know not to eat yellow snow, that it WILL happen.
The band are playing a Bon Jovi song and I focus on the lyrics of You Give Love A Bad Name, rather than looking at him as I try to get my heart beat back to its normal rhythm, my palms are clammy and cold. I turn to look for my girlfriends just as Jemma pops up at my side.
“Hey baby girl, how's it going with Mr Fuck me right now please? Jo said he's a bit of a player, just bear that in mind, and don’t do anything just out of revenge because you’re pissed off with Jason” she looks me right in the eye as she speaks. Then we both look across at Gabriel standing at the bar and the girl standing next to him, twirling her hair through her fingers, and talking to him animatedly.
“What am I doing Jem? I should go home and try and sort my marriage out, not stand here talking to The Mornington Peninsula's shagger of the year”
“Don’t you f*cking dare” she says way too loudly, heads turn and look at us, Jemma's oblivious
“You are going to stay right here, let him hit on you, buy you drinks, then, then you go home, remembering all the flattering bull shit that he will doubtless come up with.You remember that this God like man, boy, whore, spent the night trying to get into your knickers, then you go home and dream about all the different ways you would like him to f*ck you, dream about him all night long while that bastard snores next to you, then when you wake up, you pack your bags and you get the f*ck out of there and don’t look back. You’re doing no harm to anyone, just standing here talking to a friend of a friend, you have nothing to feel guilty about, remember that, it's not you that has done anything wrong! Now, we are popping out for a smoke, you coming?” she asks, I shake my head smiling.
“Thanks Jem but I just feel like a desperate old moll, he probably thinks he's onto a sure thing, that I'll just be grateful for any attention he sends my way and that I will gladly go home with him, and do you know what Jem? I’m that sad and that f*cking lonely right now, if he asked, I might actually consider it”
“Yeah well, I don’t blame you, I mean look at him Loz, he is gorgeous and your husbands a prick, not a hard decision is it really?”
“Jemma, you’re supposed to talk sense into me, not encourage me to cheat on my husband”
“Lauren, think about it, go home to an arshole who throws you about in the wrong way, or go home with a super stud, who will throw you about in the right way? But I know you and I know you would never be able to sleep with him and then go home to Jay, so, leave Jay tomorrow morning and f*ck the hottie tomorrow night, no problems, no guilt involved” She smiles at me.
“Thanks for the advice, if only it was all that easy, and no I'll pass on the smoke thanks, I'm gonna drink this drink and go”
We smile at each other and I see that look I've been dreading in her eyes, she feels sorry for me, it’s a look of pity. I force the tears back. That look right there is the reason I have never told her or anyone else what’s been going on.