Saved by Love (Willow Valley Book 3)(25)

Taking a deep breath, she plowed ahead. "Look, I know that you aren't a relationship kind of guy. And I know that I may be about to make a complete fool of myself. And please, no matter what I say, I just want you to be honest with me."

She closed her eyes, not sure she could look at him when she said it. "I had pretty much sworn off men after… well, just sworn them off. I had absolutely no desire to get involved with anyone when moving here."

"Well, you weren't exactly throwing yourself at me, that's for sure. I did take a little hit to the ego that first day." Abby opened her eyes to find that Ethan was grinning at her. Why was he grinning?

She couldn't think about it. She had to get this out before she lost her nerve. She looked away again, unable to look him in the eye. "Anyway, to say that these last few days have taken me by surprise would be an understatement. Everything that I told myself I would never do, I’ve done. I know I'm probably not even making sense right now. What I'm trying to say, Ethan, is that I know you may not be interested, but I'm not ready to walk away from this just yet. I don't know what is ahead, but I'm really enjoying our time together and I want to explore that a little more."

This time when she looked back at him, not only was he still grinning, but he looked like he was trying really hard not to laugh. Seriously? She looked at him indignantly, her embarrassment taken over by irritation.

"I really don't see how this is funny at all. You know what? I shouldn't have come here." She pushed herself up from the couch and started toward the door in a hurry. "I'm sorry I wasted your time. Don't worry, I'll pretend like this conversation never happened and we can both go on with our separate lives."

Ethan jumped up and grabbed her by the wrist. "Whoa, wait. Abby, where are you going?"

She kept her back to him, unable to look at him for fear of what she might see on his face. Pity? Amusement? She had never been so humiliated.

"Look, Ethan, I'm sure that this all sounds ridiculous to you. You have women throwing themselves at you all the time. And here I am after one date telling you—you of all people, who made it clear you don't do relationships—that I want to see where this can go?"

She spun around then, needing to make him understand. In for a penny, in for a pound. Did it really matter at this point if she made an even bigger fool of herself? "I've been through a lot, Ethan. And I was fully prepared to tell you the other day that I can't do this. But there’s something about you. I don't know. I just couldn't walk away yet."

Abby didn't know what she expected him to say next, but what she absolutely did not expect was for him to pull her to him and wrap his arms around her waist and say, "I couldn't have said it better myself."

***

Abby looked up at him startled, her eyes full of confusion. He tried to bite back the laugh that threatened to break through again, but he didn't do so well.

"I'm sorry. I promise I'm not laughing at you, Abby. I know that must have come across all wrong."

She knitted her eyebrows together and shook her head. "I don't understand."

Ethan pulled her even closer and lifted a hand to brush his knuckles across her cheek. "I think we have our wires crossed. I was so sure that you were about to call things off with me and that you were trying to let me down gently, that I couldn't stop laughing when I realized that you’re actually here to tell me the same thing I wanted to tell you."

Now she really did look confused. "That you…” She shook her head. “You wanted to tell me what?" She didn't look as if she believed him.

"Abby, from the very first minute I saw you, you got under my skin and I can't get you out of my mind. I don't even want to try. Not anymore. Yeah, people are right when they say that I don't do commitment, don't do relationships. And I honestly don't know what this is between us, but I am most definitely not ready to walk away from it either."

For a minute she just stared at him as if she were trying to process what he was saying. Then a smile broke over her face, warming him up as if it were the break of dawn after a long cold night. Yeah, anyone that could make him feel like that with just a smile was not someone he could walk away from. No matter how much it terrified him.

"But I do need to warn you," he said, hoping that he was not about to ruin everything. "And you can do with this what you will. But I'm not so sure I'm good for you."

She narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"The idea of a relationship has me sweating bullets. I'm no good at it. And I can't make any promises about how this will end."

"Promises of that kind are empty anyway. No one knows what the future holds. But here's the thing. The idea of opening myself up to someone scares the hell out of me too. I had decided that it was best not to let myself get close to anyone. That way I wouldn't get hurt." She looked up at him earnestly.

He shook his head "Abby, the last thing I want to do is hurt you, but based on my own history, I can't even promise you that." He shoved away the memories that threated him and cradled her face in his hands, wanting nothing more than to kiss her, but he had to make sure she knew what she was getting into.

"I know. And it's crazy because we haven't even known each other long, but I’m willing to take that risk."