Sanctum (Masters and Mercenaries #4.5)(4)

She’d also been attracted to the Sanctum job because she loved this lifestyle, and she’d been ready to put a toe back in. The fact that the reason she’d jumped out of the BDSM pool was sitting in front of her should tell her to stay out all together. Forever and ever. She stood up. “You won’t find a better manager than me. I would bet your waitstaff is almost entirely female and all submissive. If you hire someone who doesn’t understand the lifestyle, they won’t accept him. If you hire someone who does, he’ll likely be a Dom and he won’t really understand them.”

“So a Dom doesn’t understand a sub?”

She shrugged. “He can if he cares, otherwise, he’ll just use her and toss her aside. I can make those subs feel happy and supported. I can make the team cohesive, and I can run that bar like no one else. But you’re going to do what you want, and we both know that you’re not going to want me. Thank you for your time, Sir.”

She turned and started to walk out. Yeah, that “Sir” had been a little bitter. She’d kind of hoped she was over this. She’d stopped thinking about him every minute of the day, stopped dreaming about him every night.

Just as she got her fingers on the doorknob, she felt a hand on her arm and she was turned into Ryan’s big body. Wow. He’d been working out. A lot. His chest looked different in the T-shirt than when it had been hidden behind designer shirts and suit coats.

“Why do you want to work here? Did you find out I was here? Did you come back here for me?”

Yeah, he would think that. God, she’d been pathetic, giving him everything she had and never asking for anything. She’d been so stupid in love with him that she’d nearly given up her identity. “I had no idea you were here. Do you want to know why I’m looking for another job, Ryan? Because I’m working at a strip club right now. It’s the only job I could find when I got here, and I needed the money. The ‘gentleman’s club’ I work at is shockingly light on gentlemen.”

“What?” The question came from between clenched teeth. “Strip club?”

Wow. He still got that tic over his left eye. When he got really upset, a vein over his left eye started to spasm, and she knew she had to soothe him. Her hand moved as though she had a muscle memory of how to fix the problem. She used to run her hands over his face and kiss him from his forehead to his chin, and slowly he would calm down.

“Jillian.” He breathed her name. He was so close. So close. Her whole body responded to him, her nipples hardening and her * beginning to soften, ready to welcome him home.

She remembered how he’d looked at her and calmly explained that she would go with his friend. He’d uncollared her and handed her over to another man.

Tears in her eyes, she stepped back. “I need to get to work. Good-bye, Ryan. Best of luck with the rest of the interviews.”

She managed to get the door open this time.

“You’re hired.”

She didn’t turn around, couldn’t look at him again. Damn it. She should walk. This was a bad idea. She couldn’t work for him. Fuck all, she was still half in love with the man and she knew she hated him too. Walk out. Show him you don’t need him.

Except she did. All of her sister’s medical bills were piling up, forming a little tower on her bar that she might never be able to climb. Ashley wasn’t ready to move out on her own. She had to take care of her baby, and they were both counting on Jill to feed them all. Damn. Damn. Damn. “When do I start?”

“Tonight. Do you have to give notice at that place?”

She turned to face him. She would have to do it a lot if he was her boss. God, he was her boss. How the hell was she going to manage that? “No. They don’t expect much there.”

His jaw tightened and that tic started up again. Did his current sub know how anxious he could get? Did she calm him and offer him peace? Did she sit in his lap and kiss him and hold him? Did she give him his favorite Scotch and rest her head on his chest while he relaxed?

He nodded. “Good. Fet wear only at night. I ordered for this week, but you’ll have to do an inventory before next week. We do parties on occasion, and we have one coming up for a VIPs birthday. I’ll fill you in later.”

Ryan sighed heavily and ran his hand across his face, his thumb massaging his left eye. He sat back down behind his small desk and she couldn’t help but wonder again how he was here. What had happened? Why did she still want to go and sit in his lap and comfort him?

“All right. I’ve worked plenty of parties.” She stood in the doorway feeling more awkward than she’d ever felt. She needed to walk. But she stood there. “Thank you, Sir.”

The saddest look crossed his face. Pain and weariness and regret were all painted right there. “I’ll see you tonight. Don’t go back to that club, Jillian. If you need something from there, I’ll send someone over. All right?”

The fact that he framed it as a question slammed into her. Somehow, someway, he’d remained her Master in the back of her head, but he wasn’t. He was just her boss. If she had half a brain she would walk away, but she couldn’t. “All right. I was going to clean out my locker.”

“Joe can do it. Consider it a part of your compensation package. You’ll also have an escort to and from your car every night.” He flipped open his laptop. “That is not negotiable. It will be in your contract. Taggart insists on it for all female employees.”