Saddle Up(73)

Her words seemed to strike a raw nerve. His gaze hardened. He picked up the post driver and threw it into the cart. “We’re done here. Let’s go.”

His tense silence all the way back to the house told her he’d withdrawn, just as she’d feared he might, but if they were going to pursue a relationship, she needed to be free to speak her mind. She hoped he’d come to realize the truth of what she’d said. Either that or he’d pack up and leave. The thought filled her with dismay. She wanted him to stay, but not if she had to walk on eggshells just to keep him happy.

*

Things were strained between them for the rest of the day. Keith drove alone to Butte to rent the post driver and then begged off for supper. The next morning when she rose, he was already gone with the ATV. Although disappointed and hurt, she knew he needed space. He’d implied as much the day before. She was surprised by a knock on the door later in the afternoon. Her heart hammered as she rose to answer.

“Hi,” she greeted him tentatively. Had he come to say good-bye?

He returned the greeting with a terse nod. “I reinforced half of the posts and got about a mile of wire strung.”

“Why didn’t you wait for me this morning? You knew I wanted to help.”

“I didn’t see much point in both of us freezing our asses off.”

“But we would have made more progress with two of us working,” she countered.

“That’s doubtful,” he replied with a hint of a smile. “I know you have good intentions, but you don’t have the body strength or the know-how for this kind of thing. I’ve been pulling fence wire since I was thirteen. I can do it faster alone.”

“What about just keeping you company?” she asked softly.

He sighed and tipped his hat back. “I needed time alone to think.”

“Oh… Did you? Think?” she prompted.

“Yes. I did. I’m not here just to give you a progress report. I came to apologize.”

“You did?” She stepped out onto the porch, shutting the door behind her. It was too cold to be without a jacket, but she wasn’t about to let him off the hook now.

“I didn’t mean to be so abrupt or so hard on you yesterday. You touched a nerve, or maybe a bunch of them. You have to understand that I want to make it work with you, but I don’t know how. I’m not even sure that it can.”

“Why not? What makes us different from any other two people who want to be together?”

He scrubbed his face. “The short answer is that I still don’t have my shit together. I’ve been trying really hard for months, and you’ve only given me reason to work at it even harder, but I’m just not there yet. I need you to be patient with me, Aiwattsi.” His black eyes met hers. “I don’t want to let you down.”

“I don’t know how you could,” she replied, hugging herself. “You came here, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. I came. I swore I wouldn’t have anything to do with this, but I’m beginning to think even wild horses couldn’t have kept me away from you.”

He cupped her face and kissed her, softly, sweetly, with toe-curling tenderness. The kind of kiss that hinted at secrets hidden in the heart. He released her slowly. She shivered and chaffed her arms. “It’s getting really cold out here. I need to go back in. Will you join us for supper tonight? Jo-Jo said she was making something especially for you.”

“She is? What is it?” he asked.

She grinned. “The Food Network did a segment on fry bread yesterday. They had several different recipes, so she decided to give Indian Tacos a try.”

He laughed. “Sounds great, but could you ask her to hold off for a bit? There’s still about an hour of daylight left. I was hoping to work with the horse. Did you still want to watch?”

“Yes, I do! Just give me a minute to grab my camera and a jacket.”

A few minutes later, Miranda stood outside the corral with her video camera poised as Keith climbed over the panels and into the pen, a coiled rope in hand. He dropped softly to the ground. Fear gripped her as the horse spun to face him, neck arched, teeth bared, and ears pinned.

“Be careful, Keith!”

“I’m always careful,” he said.

“What are you going to do?” she asked.

“I’m just going to stand here quietly, looking down at the ground. I won’t make a single move as long as he doesn’t. If he’s feeling purely defensive, he should just stand there, watching and waiting on me, but if he makes an aggressive move, I’ll have to counter in the same way. As a stallion, his sole purpose in life was to procreate and to protect. His instincts taught him to fight anyone who threatened his position. It’s not going to be easy to change lifelong behaviors.”

“How do you go about it?” Miranda asked.

“With time and patience.” He kept his eyes glued to the horse as he spoke. “He basically has to be reprogrammed, but I can’t even begin the process until he accepts that I’m not a threat to him.” Even while he was speaking, the horse lowered his head, stretched his neck, and charged.

Miranda cried out, but Keith darted out of its path and threw the looped end of his lasso at the horse, startling him into turning away. Blue Eye circled him several times, plunging and kicking, but Keith stood his ground, using the rope to keep the animal at a safe distance.