Saddle Up(72)

“Our summer grazing’s on the eastern slopes.” She gestured to the nearby mountains as they pulled up to the first post that she and Jo-Jo had flagged with survey tape on their prior inspection. “We have river access on both the north and south boundaries, so we’ve never had to worry about water. You see how ideal this is for the horses?” Miranda gushed as she pointed out the boundaries of the place that had become her pride and joy.

“I can’t argue that,” Keith said. “It’s a shame she ever thought of selling it.”

“The very idea nearly broke my heart, but there’s no way she could have kept running it on her own.”

“She could have leased it out for the income,” he suggested.

“She had an offer to do that but refused. She said she couldn’t stand by and watch someone else run the place that had been hers for so long. She said she’d rather sell it outright, but she really didn’t want to do that either. It’s her home. And now it’s mine too. I love it here, Keith. I feel like I was always meant to be in this place.”

“That’s how I felt when I first arrived in Wyoming. Everything about it spoke to my heart.”

“But you don’t feel that way now?”

He sighed. “I don’t know anymore. I thought I did because I missed it so much, but when I went back, it all felt so different to me. Like I didn’t belong anymore. So many things have changed… I’ve changed.”

“Change isn’t always a bad thing,” she said. “Sometimes it hurts, but it’s also what helps us to grow. I’ve changed a lot too, and I’m much happier for it. I’ve always believed that everything occurs for a reason. Just look at how we met in Nevada. All of this was meant to happen… You and I were meant to happen.” She bit her lip, realizing she’d said too much, implied too much. “I didn’t mean to suggest…”

“I know what you meant,” he said. “I’ve had the same thoughts.”

“You have?” she said softly, watching him unload the posts.

“Yes,” he replied. “I don’t believe in coincidence either. Why do think I came?”

“I don’t know,” she replied, afraid to ascribe too much meaning to his words. She wondered if he’d pull back again. In the past, he’d let her get only so close before shutting her out.

He stood and pulled off a leather glove to touch her face. “Because I want to be with you, Miranda. I was about to drive all the way to California when I first called you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”

Their eyes met. Her heart raced. She swallowed hard and whispered, “Me too. Not even close.” She laid a hand on his arm. “Please, Keith, why don’t you stay?”

He shook his head with a look of regret. “I just can’t. I’ve told you why.” He laid his bare hand on hers. It was still warm from the gloves. “Just give me some time, okay? This is new ground for me. I need to work all this out in my head.”

She returned a wistful smile. “Okay.”

For the next several hours they worked to reinforce the posts. Although it was cold enough to see their breath, Keith quickly worked up a sweat in his attempt to pound the posts into the frost-hardened ground. Panting from his exertions, he threw down the post driver with a muffled curse. “It’s no good. I can’t get deep enough. I’m just wasting energy and bending the posts.”

“Is there something else we could try?” Miranda asked.

“Yes. A hydraulic post driver,” he suggested. “It’s the only option.” He snatched up his discarded jacket, mouth compressed. “I don’t know why you couldn’t have waited until spring to do this.”

“Because the situation is urgent now,” she replied. “You know that as well as I do.”

“Urgent?” He tossed the bent posts back into the trailer with a mumbled curse. “I don’t think so. Look, you’re not saving the world here, Miranda. Hell, you’re not even really saving the mustangs. You’re only sticking your finger in the dike. I would have thought you’d understood that by now.”

“Maybe I can’t save the world, but at least I’m doing something instead of living in my own little bubble.”

His head snapped around. A scowl darkened his brow. “Is that what you think? That I live in a bubble?”

She jutted her chin. “I think you purposely hold yourself apart, just like that horse of yours, intentionally keeping everyone at a distance, when what you really need is right in front of you.”

“What makes you such an expert on what I need?”

“I can see that you aren’t happy. I know what I’m saying, because I was that way too until now—unhappy, restless, unfulfilled. Maybe you don’t want to admit it, but I think that’s the real reason you’re here. You want to feel a sense of purpose.”

“You sound just like my grandfather,” he scoffed. “He’s always preaching how every living thing has a reason for being.”

“You don’t agree with him?”

He shook his head with a snort. “If I did, then I’d have to accept that I’m the sole exception to the rule.”

“Just because you haven’t discovered your purpose yet doesn’t mean you don’t have one,” she argued.