Saddle Up(58)

“I already did. I can’t work for someone I’m involved with.”

“Technically speaking, you’d be working for Jo-Jo, not me,” she argued.

“Doesn’t matter. Our relationship still makes this whole proposition impossible.”

“But you’re wrong,” Miranda insisted. “This could be the ideal solution for all of us.” The more she considered it, the more convinced she was. “Is our personal relationship your only objection?”

His brows contracted into a deep frown. “I don’t need any other reasons. I could probably come up with plenty more if I thought about it long enough, but I’m not about to waste brain cells on the activity.”

His body language said it was time to back off, but she’d already committed herself. “Would you consider taking the job if we weren’t intimate?”

“This entire discussion is pointless, Miranda. I don’t do hypotheticals.”

“It’s not strictly hypothetical,” she said.

His gaze snagged hers. “What are you saying?”

Miranda knew what she was risking. She wondered if taking a step backward was the right answer. Maybe that’s what they really needed in order to move forward. Although her body still hungered for Keith, her heart hung in the balance. Until he found what he needed, he’d always hold back. She fingered the bear tooth around her neck and then took a deep breath. “I’m saying that if we didn’t sleep together anymore, your entire argument would be moot.”

He pulled off the road, put the truck in park, and faced her with gaze narrowed. “Do I understand you right? Are you breaking it off with me?”

“It’s not what I want, but maybe it’s for the best. You’ve made it clear you aren’t looking for a relationship.”

“That doesn’t mean I want to end this,” he said.

“You can’t always have it both ways, Keith. I’m trying to get my life back on track too. I think the mustang sanctuary is the answer for all of us. I’m willing to make a personal sacrifice for the greater good if you won’t consider it any other way.”

*

Keith cursed under his breath. “I can’t f*cking believe this.” She was mistaken to think he’d take the job if they ended their involvement. Sure it was a valid reason for his refusal, but it wasn’t the only one. He resented her attempt to manipulate him into accepting her offer. Rather than persuading him, it only made him balk harder. “I’ve already told you what I think of all that greater good bullshit.”

She stared back at him, looking almost incredulous that he’d refused. “Why? I don’t understand why you’re so set against the idea. It makes no sense to me.”

“I can’t be part of this, Miranda. If you’re determined to go ahead with this, you’ll have to do it without me.” He didn’t want to be on the road anymore, and he didn’t want to be alone, but he’d already compromised his principles too many times. He refused to commit to something he didn’t believe in—even for her.

A vision suddenly appeared of the black wolf baring his teeth at the white wolf.

He let out a bitter laugh as his grandfather’s words sounded in his brain. It is not for you to prove anything to me, Two Wolves. It is for you to find your purpose. A man with no purpose is a man with no soul.





Chapter 21


It was barely six o’clock when Miranda stepped onto the front porch, she shivered in the chill morning air and then sucked in a cleansing lungful, feeling like she could never get enough of it after her years in the smog-filled San Fernando Valley.

Winter would come soon. The few leaf-bearing trees surrounding the house were nearly barren, and the ground glistened white with frost. Gazing beyond the fenced pastures at the Tobacco Root Mountains, gray and purple shadows capped with white, she was still unable to believe that this was really her new home, her new life.

For weeks, she’d kept herself almost manically busy, preparing the ranch for the horses and making weekly trips to the university film lab to edit. The film had begun to come together in a way she hadn’t expected, but Lexi was right that Keith’s narration would be the key to its success. Unfortunately, the time had never been right even to ask him. Now she feared she’d never have another chance.

Although he’d been on the road constantly since the trip to Gunnison, her decision about the horses had driven a deep wedge between them. She’d finally accepted his reasons, but still couldn’t overcome her profound sense of disappointment. They’d exchanged a few brief phone calls but hadn’t seen each other. She realized too late that she’d pushed him too hard. Perhaps if she hadn’t, he would have eventually come around. She recalled how the prison inmate had tried to gentle the stallion. He’d slowly closed the distance, hand tentatively outstretched, only to be violently rejected. Keith had explained that a horse with no trust would have to be enticed to make the first move. That was exactly the mistake she’d made with Keith. She wondered wistfully if she’d ever see him again, but knew he had to make the next move.

When she returned to the house after her barn chores, she found Jo-Jo sipping coffee. Miranda shut her eyes to sniff the air and smiled. Cinnamon. Her next favorite after blueberry. She reached under the napkin for a muffin.