Rush: The Season (Austin Arrows Book 1)(136)

This woman owns me. Mind, body, and soul.

“I love you, Ellie. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. I want to help you raise Bianca. I want to have more babies with you. I want… God, Ellie, I want to marry you. I’ve never wanted any of this, never thought I would. But I’ve always known, since that very first day … you were supposed to be mine. I may not deserve you, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t give the very heart in my chest to make you happy.”

Tears are streaming down her face, and I feel her chin tremble beneath my thumb. I need her to say something. I need her to tell me that I haven’t spilled my guts for no reason. I need to hear—

“I love you,” she whispers, the words so soft I hardly hear them.

Throwing my arms around her, I pull her in tight, my mouth to her ear. “Say it again, Ellie. Tell me again.”

“I love you.” Her chest is heaving as her body shudders from her sobbing. I hate that she’s crying, I hate that I made her cry, but those three words…

“Forgive me, Ellie. I need to know that you can forgive me.”

She pulls back, her clear green eyes sparkling with unshed tears. “There’s nothing to forgive, Kingston. You reacted based on emotion. It hurt me, yes. But I know you. I know that you walked away because you thought it was best.”

“I don’t know how I managed that,” I tell her truthfully. I still don’t know how I actually walked away from her. These past two months have been pure hell.

Ellie pulls back, putting a small amount of space between us. “I want you to talk to James. I want you to get to know him. I wanted you to meet him sooner … before he met Bianca. I trust your reactions to people. He’s a good guy. If he wasn’t, I damn sure wouldn’t trust him with my daughter. But you have to know that he is going to be a part of her life.”

“I know that. I would never want to come between them. I’ve only ever wanted her to be happy.”

Ellie frowns. “I think she’s going to be disappointed.”

My heart aches once again. “How so?”

“My sweet, optimistic child has conjured up this fairy tale of happily ever after between James and me. We sat her down again today and told her that wasn’t going to happen. I think she still holds out hope. James promised he would have a conversation with her tonight. She feels bad about what she did. About the text message she sent you.”

Apparently Spencer opened his big f*cking mouth.

I can hardly swallow, but I wait for her to continue.

“James knows that I’m in love with you. He’s actually the one who brought it up. I didn’t think I was that transparent, but…” Her smile widens. “Apparently, I am. He’s not looking to interfere. It’s not like that between us.”

And to think, my own stupidity was the only thing that was keeping me from this woman. I’m an idiot. “So where do we go from here?” I need her to tell me what she wants, what she needs. I’ll give her anything.

The corner of her mouth quirks and a mischievous gleam lights her eyes. “Well, I was thinking…”

Ellie tugs at the hem of my T-shirt, pulling me forward. I follow.

“We’ve got the place to ourselves for”—she glances at the clock on the microwave—“two more hours. I was thinking we could try out one of those toys you left over here.”

When she reaches the hallway, I pull her up short, spinning her around to face me. “I was thinking… Tonight … how about we forego the toys. Let me love you the way I’ve wanted to love you all along. Let me make love to you.”

“How can I possibly say no to that?”

“You can’t.” And to prove my point, I lift her up over my shoulder and carry her to her bedroom. With one smooth kick of my foot, the door shuts, and a second later, I’ve locked it, as well.

For the next two hours—and hopefully for the rest of eternity—this woman is mine.

All mine.





Ellie

I know it may look that way, but this isn’t only about sex.

Sure, it’s a little about sex because, well, sex with Kingston is addictive. But no, that’s not the only reason I’m pulling him down on top of me when he dumps me on the bed. It’s not the only reason I kiss him as though his breath is the only air that will keep me alive.

His hand slides up under my sweatshirt but he doesn’t tease or torment me. He simply pushes the cotton up higher, then breaks his mouth from mine so he can remove it. I don’t let him stop there, though. Within minutes, we’re both completely naked, and he’s once again on top of me, my thighs cradling his hips. Right where I want him.

“Condom,” I whisper, remembering the night in the hotel.

Something that looks a lot like pain flashes in his eyes and I regret requesting it.

“Not because I think we need one,” I reassure him. “I just—”

“I did that to push you away,” he says gruffly. “I did it…” He closes his eyes and I cup his cheeks, waiting for him to continue. “I did it to hurt you.” His eyes open and they’re glassy this time. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be—”

His mouth finds mine, effectively shutting me up. There’s no more discussion about protection because he’s pushing inside me, filling me completely. No foreplay, no teasing. He’s simply inside me, stretching me deliciously. I’m totally overwhelmed by him. Surrounded entirely by this man. I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him to me, desperate to get as close as I possibly can.