Rush: The Season (Austin Arrows Book 1)(133)

It’s as though someone has a vice around my heart and they’re slowly twisting it tighter. The pain is unbearable. The thought of that man permanently moving into Ellie’s life… It really could be a reality then. With him closer, there’s a much bigger possibility that Ellie will end up falling in love with him.

And if that happens, it’s because I allowed it to happen. God, I’m an *.

“Bianca wants to know her father,” Spencer explains. “And she deserves that. But Ellie’s not going to be with James.”

I sit up again. “Why?” I really want someone to explain that part to me, because no matter how I play this out, I just don’t get it. James seems to be a good guy. He’s Bianca’s father. He’s obviously got a good job and…

Spencer shakes his head as though he thinks I’m clueless. Maybe I am.

“She doesn’t love him, you dimwit. She wants him to have a relationship with his daughter, but she doesn’t love him. Just because someone pops back in your life after so many years doesn’t mean you’ll have the same feelings. It doesn’t work that way.”

I get the feeling Spencer isn’t just talking about Ellie and James.

“You broke her heart, man.” Spencer glares at me. “I trusted you. Hell, she trusted you. You didn’t even give her a chance. One road bump and you tucked your tail between your legs and ran.”

I can’t deny that. I was being selfish thinking that this guy could potentially screw up something good between me and Ellie. In order to protect myself, I cut ties. Self-preservation and all that bullshit. In the end, I was the one who screwed it up, not him.

I feel like a bastard.

Spencer leans forward again. “You might not want to admit it, but I know you care about my sister. In fact, I’m pretty damn sure you love her, but I’m going to let you come to terms with that on your own time. I hope you care about Bianca just as much—”

“Of course I do,” I snap. I would do anything for that kid.

“Then prove it.” His posture is defensive once again. “Instead of tucking your tail between your legs, fight for Ellie. Stand behind her. Hold her f*cking hand through this. Hell, be there for Bianca, because this is just the beginning. It might seem like f*cking roses and rainbows, but real life has to intervene sometime. This fairy tale that Bianca has created doesn’t exist. Now, I’m not saying that this won’t go well for them. I hope like f*ck it does. I’m merely telling you that Ellie doesn’t want him the way you think she does.”

“I’m a f*cking dumb ass,” I mutter, dropping my head into my hand.

“No, you’re in love, douchebag. And sometimes the fear of rejection blinds you to what’s really important.” Spencer gets to his feet. “You didn’t hear this from me, but James is in town tonight. He wants to take Bianca to dinner and to a movie. Ellie’s gonna be home. Maybe you could drop by.”

Well, when he puts it that way…





Bianca

“Bianca, I need you to come down here.”

At the sound of my mom’s voice, I hop off my bed and grab my cell phone. My dad’s coming over to take me to the movies and to get pizza tonight. I didn’t think he’d be by until later, but I’ve been so excited I even managed to clean my room.

“Bye, Jasmine,” I call to the kitten curled up on my pillow. “I put some food down for you, and your new toy.”

As usual, Jasmine doesn’t even look up.

I race down the stairs with a smile on my face.

“Hey, Mom! Hey, James!” I turn the corner to see my mom and dad and Uncle Optimus sitting at the kitchen table.

“Hey, squirt,” Uncle Optimus says as he gets to his feet.

“Hey.” I notice that he doesn’t look happy. I’m not sure if he’s mad at me or at my mom. I don’t want to ask. He’s probably mad at me after what I did to Kingston. I’ve been waiting for someone to say something.

My heart actually hurts.

“I gotta run,” he tells Mom and James. “Later, kiddo.”

With that, he’s out the door in a flash and I’m left staring at my mom and dad. They both look upset.

“Take a seat, Bianca.” My mom’s voice is stern but not mean.

I squeeze my cell phone in my hand and go to the table, pulling out the chair across from them.

“Did I do something wrong?”

My mom continues to look at me for what feels like forever.

“I should’ve brought this up a while back, but … well, things have been a little hectic, as you know. I wanted to talk to you about the Facebook post.”

I smile. It brought my mom and dad together.

“Why didn’t you talk to me before you posted that, Bianca?”

My smile falls because clearly she’s not happy about that. “I don’t know.”

“Why did you create a second account so that I wouldn’t see it?”

“I don’t know.” It’s the only answer I can come up with.

“You can do better than that,” my mom says, clearly reading my mind.

“I didn’t want you to be mad.”

“If you thought I’d be mad, why’d you do it?”

“Because I wanted to find my dad.” I look at James. He’s not saying anything, nor does he look like he’s on my side.