Rush: The Season (Austin Arrows Book 1)(116)

He’s leaning against the center island, his arms crossed over his chest. It reminds me of that morning we had sex for the first time. It seems like so long ago, but it’s only been a little over a month since that day.

When Kingston doesn’t say anything, I begin to worry. The way he’s staring at me, I can tell he has something on his mind.

“You okay?” I ask, hoping to spur some conversation and get rid of this awkwardness that’s building between us.

“I don’t know.” There seems to be so much honesty in those words. As though he’s truly baffled about how he feels.

“Did I do something?”

Kingston shakes his head.

I stare back at him.

Something’s wrong. I can feel it. Something more than the uncomfortableness of the situation with James. He’s distant and aloof, not at all the same man who took me to dinner the night James called. Rather than urge him to speak, I hold my breath. I’m not sure I want to know what he’s thinking right now. He looks upset, maybe even a little angry.

He stands to his full height. “I should go. I’ve got a game tomorrow night. Then two road games. I’m going to Scott’s for Christmas on Sunday so I can see Dad. Then I’m flying to meet the team in Ottawa before we head back this way next week.”

As he says the words, I notice how unemotional they are. As though he’s talking to an assistant.

“Oh,” I say, trying to piece it all together. I didn’t even realize Christmas was on Sunday. “Okay.”

He nods but doesn’t lean in to kiss me like he normally does.

When he pivots and heads toward the entryway, I automatically follow him. Without looking back, he pulls open the front door and takes one step outside before I reach for him.

“Hey,” I whisper, hoping my emotions aren’t reflected on my face. He’s hurting me with his callousness, but I’m not sure I have the right to be hurt. We’re not in a relationship. Not a real one, anyway. I don’t get to be upset with him. I force a smile. “Be careful, okay?”

His eyes trail over my face slowly, but he doesn’t smile when he says, “I will. Merry Christmas.”

I swallow hard. When the door closes, I stare at it for the longest time.

It’s then that I realize this is far more complicated than I ever expected. More than I ever wanted, in fact. And I don’t have a clue what to do about that. But if I don’t do something, I might possibly lose Kingston forever.

Is that a risk I’m willing to take?





47

Kingston

Sunday, December 25th “Hey, bro,” Heath greets with a hard slap on the back when I step into Scott’s house.

I smile. It’s not necessarily genuine, but I’m trying. For the past few days, I’ve spent more than enough time thinking. Most of the time I’ve been coming up with off-the-wall scenarios of what’s taking place between Ellie and James back home.

“You hungry, son?” Dad calls from the kitchen.

“Starved,” I tell him, making my way over and offering a hug.

I can tell Dad’s lost weight. The man I’ve looked up to my entire life used to be a robust man. Once six three, he has probably lost a couple of inches in recent years, his back not as ramrod straight as it previously was. His once thick dark hair has been replaced with thin strands of gray. Today my father’s eyes are clear and there’s a smile on his face. It helps to lighten my mood. It’s good to see him smiling and happy.

“Good,” Scott hollers. “Get your f*cking ass in here and help.”

I laugh. Scott’s the only one of us, other than our father, who sounds as though he’s never stepped foot out of Boston. While Heath and I still have the noticeable accent, Scott’s is much thicker, like our dad’s. I think about how Ellie and Bianca giggle every time they hear him talk. Then they’ll spend a good half hour trying to speak without using Rs and replacing “uh” with “ah.” The thought makes my chest hurt again.

“Where are your girls?” Heath questions as I help move platters of food from the kitchen and into the dining room.

“At home.” I don’t want my brothers to get too nosy.

“They spending Christmas with Spencer?”

Actually, I don’t know. I’ve been too much of a chickenshit to call Ellie and find out. That doesn’t stop me from agreeing, though.

“Wish they coulda come,” Scott states.

Yeah. Me, too.

“Now sit,” Dad commands. “Let’s do this. I’m starved.”





Bianca

When I woke up this morning, I held my breath. The only thing I wanted for Christmas this year was to find out that my dad had contacted my mom. Every day I eagerly wait for the second she turns to me and says that she heard from him and she’s so happy I did that Facebook post because now we can be a happy family, just the three of us.

Okay, maybe I haven’t thought about that a lot, but Gabby keeps telling me that’s the way it’ll happen. She is sure that once my mom sees my dad again, she’s going to fall in love with him. I’m not quite so sure about that because she likes Kingston. But lately, it seems as though Kingston makes her sad. She hasn’t said anything, but I think she’s a little upset about him. Maybe they really had been dating and now they broke up or something. I don’t know.