Rush: The Season (Austin Arrows Book 1)(102)

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Kingston approach. When he sits down beside me, I can’t help but lean into him. He’s a comforting presence in this rocky moment, and I need him here with me. I need him to ground me, to keep me safe.

Not that I think James will hurt me. I don’t think that at all.

But I don’t like surprises, and other than finding out I was pregnant at twenty-one by a guy I never expected to see again, this has to be the biggest surprise of my life.

“I thought you knew,” Kingston mutters.

Pulling my head from his chest, I peer over at him. “Knew about what?”

He doesn’t meet my gaze, which has my insides churning. His Adam’s apple moves slowly in his throat, and I realize he’s gearing up to tell me something. Something I don’t think I’m going to like.

“Bianca borrowed my phone at practice a couple of months ago…” Kingston pauses as he wipes his palms on his pants. “The next day, when I was looking at it, I noticed there was a Facebook profile open.” His eyes dart my way briefly, then move away just as quickly. “It was Bianca’s. Her last post was a public post, stating that she was looking for her father. She listed out the details of what you’ve apparently told her, along with a picture of you from when you were twenty-one or so.”

I put more distance between us so I can stare at him. Maybe I’m not understanding correctly.

“That’s not possible,” I say. “I monitor her Facebook and her Twitter account.” And I do. It’s another agreement that Bianca and I have. In order for her to have social media accounts, she had to agree to let me have the passwords so I could supervise them. I religiously check them at least twice a week to keep an eye on her. I don’t want her to be preyed on by people on the Internet.

“That’s what you told me,” he replies. “Which is why I didn’t say anything. I figured you knew.”

“And you didn’t care enough to ask?” I’m defensive, yes.

Kingston narrows his eyes. “And say what? Hey, Ellie, why didn’t you mention you’re looking for Bianca’s dad?” He takes a breath. “I didn’t think you wanted me to know. After all, it’s not really my business.”

Not his business? Is he serious?

I think it is—or it would be if we were really dating, I guess. Since this is pretend…

I decide not to argue with him. I’m pissed at Kingston for not saying something because who knows how long I’ve gone without knowing my daughter was actively looking for her father.

He looks at me once more, and the lines around his eyes soften. “I thought you knew. I figured you were helping her find him. Which I completely understand. Why wouldn’t she want to know him?”

“I thought you cared about us,” I shriek. I sound a little irrational, sure. I can’t help it. I think it’s easier to place blame on Kingston than to accept that my daughter has set out to find her father—behind my back. I sort of understand her reasoning, but … it hurts.

Yes. That’s what it is. I’m hurt. My own daughter didn’t tell me she was looking for her father. She doesn’t trust me enough to ask for my help and … I take a deep breath. This can’t be happening. First the pink hair, then … this. It’s like a knife to the back.

“Ellie, don’t do this,” Kingston says, his tone gruff. It’s like a warning. As though he’s trying to get me to pay attention to what I’m doing.

Well, I know what I’m doing. “You knew my daughter was searching for her father, and you didn’t bother to tell me.” I get to my feet and glare down at him. “I can’t believe you. I can’t believe you wouldn’t even bother to mention it. You’re f*cking me, but you can’t ask about how my kid’s doing?”

Kingston’s gaze slams into mine and he holds my stare. “I thought you knew,” he repeats, his words gruff.

“How can you say that?” I’m losing it, I can feel it. “And okay, fine! Say I did know. Why wouldn’t you ask me about it? It’s okay for you to f*ck me, but you can’t talk to me? You can’t even bother to ask how things are going with the search for her father? This is a big deal, Kingston!” I can feel everything slipping away from me. “Does Spencer know?”

He shrugs. “I didn’t tell him. I figured if the three of you were working this out, trying to find her dad, you didn’t want me to know because you never said anything.”

“Why?” I lift my arms and let them drop, completely baffled. “Why would we do that?”

Kingston gets to his feet. He’s so big, filling the small space of my living room with his overwhelming presence. For a second, I think he’s going to head for the door, and my stomach knots. I don’t want him to leave. Not like this.

This isn’t his fault. I have to remind myself of that. I’ve been looking forward to seeing him and now … I’ve ruined our entire night because of my freak out.

Kingston takes a step closer to me and I swallow hard, never looking away from his beautiful face. I can see he’s got a battle brewing; it’s all there in his dark eyes. When he reaches out for me, I allow him to pull me close, and I throw my arms around his waist, snuggling against the hard planes of his chest.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he mumbles. “Honest to God, Ellie, I thought you knew. I didn’t know how to approach it. Didn’t want you to think I was pushing you if you weren’t ready to talk.”