Ruined (The Eternal Balance #1)(65)
Chase rolled his eyes. “I was controlling him. Obviously.” He turned back to Jax. “Now, you were saying?”
“It was something one of Azirak’s demons said. About the one who was after me biding their time. It got me thinking. You’re a selfish f*ck, Chase. You always have been. You pushed too hard to keep me here, feeding me shit about it being for Sam’s sake. I don’t know why I didn’t see it. You think too much of yourself to ever admit you couldn’t take care of her on your own. Then I started thinking about the attack at Huntington. How I never smelled the demon—”
“We can’t track each other by scent. Part of the rules, man.”
“I didn’t know for sure. Not till I walked in and saw Sutton down and Sam still standing.”
“I’m sure you have a ton of questions.”
Jax was the very definition of darkness in that moment. I’d seen him bend and twist, failing countless times to control his anger, yet now, there was an eerie peace. The calm before the storm. Like those few minutes right before hell broke loose when the trees were still and the water was like glass. “How long?”
“All my life—same as you.”
“That’s impossible.”
“It’s not. Just ask my link.” Chase laughed again and gave my arm a good shake.
Jax gritted his teeth and took a deep breath. “So why not kill me sooner? If you’ve had the demon all your life, same as me, why wait?”
“I had to be sure I’d win. The demons inside don’t really reach their full potential until they’ve festered in a human for twenty years.” He clapped his hands together. “We’re aged up nice and good now, bro. Time to settle up.”
Jax paled.
“Seriously, if you hadn’t spent the last three years of your life brewing in your own pity party, you would have seen the truth.”
“And what truth might that be?”
“That this isn’t a curse. It’s a gift.” He let go of my arm and commanded, “Stay.” To his brother, he said, “The demon is power, Jax. Unbelievable power.”
Jax was quiet for a minute. Underneath the darkness in his expression I could see the pain. He’d always been at war with Chase in one way or another, but he loved his brother. Loved him so much that to keep him safe, he’d given up everything. When Jax spoke again, there was an air of determination in his tone. “I don’t know how this happened, but we can figure it out. Take back control. We don’t have to go at each other. Not like this.”
Chase laughed. A horrible sound that made me want to cover my ears. Not human. Not demon. “Take control? I never lost it! Unlike you, I embraced my destiny. My demon and I are in perfect sync.” He nodded over his shoulder and said, “While you were running away from your true nature, I embraced my calling with open arms. I guess it just comes down to the fact that I’m simply stronger. Always have been.”
“Stronger?” Jax’s eyes darted from his brother to me, then back again. “You mean weaker. Strength would have been to resist. To fight. You caved like a little bitch.”
“Aren’t you the happy little hypocrite. You’ve got blood on those digits, same as me, bro. Don’t pretend otherwise.”
“I’m no saint,” Jax agreed. The pain in his voice almost destroyed me. “But I don’t—never have and never will—kill.”
“News flash for you, Jax. You will. You’ll have to, because in our particular situation, it’s kill or be killed.”
“What situation might that be?”
Chase grinned. The expression that used to make me smile now made me sick. “We’re at war. We’re bound to these weak, pathetic human bodies until one of us makes the other bleed. You and me, man? We’re the key to it all.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Jax
I tensed as Azirak raged like never before. The demon kept showing that single phrase, You and me, man? We’re the key to it all. Over and over like a skipping CD. I had no f*cking clue what it was supposed to mean.
Next came the images of that blood-soaked, barren field in his visions. Two impossibly tall figures faced off under a burning gray sky. The demon was annoyed, but I didn’t understand what it was trying to get across. A message. A clue. Something I needed to know. I felt its frustration humming through every inch of my body.
“You’ve known Sammy almost your whole life, Chase. You don’t want to hurt her. You’d rather hurt me, right?” Another step. We were a foot apart now. Possibly two.
Chase jerked Sam close, then ran a finger down the side of her face. Azirak went wild. “Hurting her hurts you, and that’s my lot in life. I don’t like it, but it is what it is.” He licked his finger and sighed, then ran his tongue along the line of her jaw. “Besides, she tastes amazing. Can’t argue that, can ya?”
Azirak roared, and all my muscles convulsed as the demon fought for control. I had to maintain control. It was enraged and there was always a chance it wouldn’t show restraint. With Sam linked to my brother, if he went down, so did she.
“I walked away from her, remember? She’s a fun distraction while I’m in town, but that’s about it.”
“Your stink is all over her, Jax. Nice try.” He grabbed a handful of Sam’s hair and tilted her head. A small noise escaped her lips and a rush of gray bled into the air. “Then again, so is mine. Just between us brothers, you fed from her too, right? Just a little? Good stuff, no?”