Romance:From Fat To Fatale(30)

I stared to get looks of appreciation now. Some chisel-boned jock with muscles in his spit even had the temerity to stick a hand-crafted sign across the back of my chair with the single legend 'HOT!!' stencilled across it.

I resisted the temptation to swing my heavily-loaded laptop case right into his overloaded jockstrap but I kept the sign in my precious room on campus. Larry and I used to laugh at it all the time. I was still getting used to the unexpected attention. I remember hearing a wolf whistle from a bunch of guys digging the road and I immediately assumed they were calling for their dog. It was the accompanying observations in Spanish that informed me of the object of their attentions. And, I have to confess, mea culpa, mea culpa, that I smiled to myself, secretly pleased, as I turned and gave them the collective benefit of my finger.

The old doc kept a regular check on my progress, pleased to see me and welcome me to his cramped little surgery. He told me my case made for fine reading and said he was seriously tempted to submit an article about me to a medical journal, show people what could be achieved with a little effort and a little self-discipline. Said he'd make me famous. Me. Misha Bulgari. He actually said he was proud of me.

Used those exact words and I graduated from walking around the campus to jogging about ten miles every day, getting progressively leaner and stronger, burning the calories and starting to look, well, a little more athletic. And maybe (at least in my own mind) looking like a more suitable candidate to deserve Larry's endless capacity for unlimited love and boundless affection. We had that priceless, unrepeatable year together before the fates intervened and our paths were unthreaded, our destinies torn apart and our lives headed off in different directions. No one could see it coming. But that's how the fates worked the threads, plaiting and separating the knots and ties that bind us. That's how they weaved the fortunes of mere mortals. But that was still a little way off. And we managed to keep our parents blissfully unaware of how we felt about each other. No point in making our lives even more complicated by risking the combined wrath of the Jewish community and the impressively vindictive and devoutly catholic Bulgaris.

Damn, I'd have happily converted to Judaism if Larry had been remotely interested or spiritually connected to the religion of his forefathers. But he wasn't. And I didn't. I guess Larry was connected to everyone, whatever their creed. And when rumours circulated in the old neighbourhood that I'd been seen in the company of a tall, blond, handsome young man, All I had to do was whisper to Mavenka in complete confidence that the guy was, tragically for women-folk everywhere, irretrievably gay. And the story was instantly broadcast on my little sister's ultra-confidential, don't-repeat-this-to-anyone....but, broadband, Bible class, hotter-than-the-hobs-of-Hell, personal gossip channel. Larry loved the story and even volunteered to start wearing my makeup - to confuse and confound the enemy! He said. I could've sent him to the local health club for mascara lessons with Ricky boy - but I didn't want to take the risk that Larry might so easily be kidnapped and locked away in some dimly lit, perfumed corner, with the sole purpose of keeping Ricky in his own personal paradise for years and years to come.

And did anyone in the Bulgari residence notice my slimmer, trimmer silhouette?

Well, sometimes but not really. The Bulgari family had suffered a massive information overload and their answer to the crisis of that fateful year was to gather themselves into the old, familiar configuration of troughing and munching, browsing and chewing, feeding their fat cells and giving thanks to the Lord for all their recent deliverances.

I sat with them sometimes at the weekends, listening to the usual conversations, mumbled through their mouthfuls of half-chewed high-fat fare, and no one so much as mentioned the plate of steamed vegetables that I was happily consuming. No one asked anymore why I wasn't first in the frantic rush to dismember and devour the freshly-baked chocolate fudge cake. Nobody wondered if I was sick because I was so obviously slimmer than before. Maybe they were getting used to a lot of things being a little different around the Bulgari household. Maybe my quest for a newer, healthier me had proceeded without the family's combined disapproval and opposition.

The lady nutritionist, that faithful font of wisdom and encouragement, had said that my departure from the house had probably been the spark, the catalyst that had initiated the domestic crisis that had overwhelmed the Bulgari family. Like taking the lid off a pressure cooker, she'd said.

All that pent-up energy and frustration suddenly bubbling over. Everything was connected, Honey, she'd smiled. Everything was connected. And you are one bodacious force for change in the world, aren't you? I just hope that the world is totally ready for you. She smiled with those beautiful deep blue eyes and I kind of hoped that she was right. She noticed how happy I was and even suggested with a sly grin that my love life must've taken a remarkable turn for the better. I just smiled and said, Maybe.

Because the very next day, even as I woke up from a really good night's sleep, life got a lot more interesting for me than I'd ever thought possible. My life was about to change in ways I'd never ever imagined possible. But that is another story.

Hey. Hope you've managed to stay awake so far, my patient and ever-faithful traveling companion. If your eyes are still wide open and you'd like to keep right on keeping on and keeping me company, feel free to join me on this continuing journey of excitement and adventure.

Come on. It wouldn't be the same without you, would it? Of course not!