Retribution (Secrets & Lies #3)(5)
I chuckle and look over at Andrea, who's dressed in running tights and a light warm-up jacket, her black hair pulled back and braided, a style she's favored more and more since she and Carson have been together. Considering what I've overheard from their bedroom, I know exactly why, too.
I step off the porch and starting walking back and forth in short laps, getting my blood flowing. I'm not twenty-two like Andrea anymore, even if I don't look my age. When the mornings are cold and damp, my knees and lower back always ache. It takes me a while to get the blood flowing and my body limbered up. I can still hold my own, but it doesn't come as quickly anymore. While Andrea does her stretches, I take the time to do a more thorough warm-up until my heart is beating a bit more quickly and I can feel sweat inside my shirt. “You know me. By the way, I’m glad Melissa is on board with everything. I didn’t think she would mind you and Carson making your commitment to each other more official though.”
“Yeah, but you know how Carson is. Both of us, really. We wanted her to be okay with it,” Andrea replies as she bends down and touches her toes. “So that's why we were both so deliriously happy last night, and why Carson was maybe more... enthusiastic than usual.”
“Sounds like quite the experience,” I deadpan as Andrea comes off the porch. “Does that mean I need to slow down on this run?”
Andrea's sense of determination is something I noticed long ago. I used to think it was mostly an academic thing, but she’s like that in everything she does. She's driven to be the best person she can be, whether it's as a sister, soon-to-be wife, or best friend.
Still, with all her focus being on others, I want to see her help herself as well. I learned long ago in the Special Forces that the best way to lead is not always to order your soldiers where you're going, but instead guide them so they head that direction because they want to.
“You don't need to slow down for anything, Nathan,” Andrea replies, grinning fiercely. “In fact, I was thinking that in celebration, perhaps you and I can take the long way out and back today? That is, if you can keep up.”
She’s good. Real good. “Show me what you've got, little one.”
We start our run slowly. All joking aside, Andrea's been a fantastic helper during my recovery. She was the one who recognized I was having problems with my kidneys and insisted I go into the clinic for treatment. Turning right at the end of the side road that connects the farm to the Old Spanish Trail, we stick to the side of the road.
“So how were your talks with your friends last night?” Andrea asks as we jog along. In true military fashion I never wear headphones, and Andrea likes to chat as we run to keep her breathing in check.
“Okay I guess,” I answer, seeing the first landmark on our route, the end of the first mile where we both pick the pace up a little bit. “Not a lot available for me to rent out right now.”
“You mean not a lot of underground flophouses that'll let you pay cash and not give a name,” Andrea replies, chuckling. “Nathan, I think you're lying to me. Or to yourself.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, picking up our pace a little. Andrea keeps up without any problems, and I know by the end she'll be pushing me. I may have quite a bit of leg length on her, but she’s got youth on her side. But I enjoy the challenge, and I never back down.
“I mean, Nathan, that I know for sure you've got fake papers on top of fake papers in various places,” she says with a chuckle. “You want to rent an apartment or a house, you've probably got half a dozen names and SSNs you can use right now.”
“That's true,” I huff, remembering just how smart Andrea is. Anyone who underestimates her is taking a very big risk. “Your point?”
“I think you're limiting yourself because you don't want to leave the farm,” she says, glancing over. “I think you like living here.”
“Maybe,” I admit. “Not that it matters.”
“Would it matter if I told you Melissa doesn't want you to leave?” Andrea asks in her blunt fashion. I stumble slightly, losing my stride for a few steps, and Andrea smirks. “I thought so.”
“Still don't matter,” I say again once I get my rhythm back. Andrea gives me a surprised glance, and I can tell she's asking for an explanation. I keep my silence though, until she decides to push the issue.
“Does it have something to do with Aisha?” she asks, matching me stride for stride as I speed up. “Come on Nathan, you can't outrun me, you know it. Answer me or don't answer me, but don't give yourself a heart attack over it.”
I slow to a stop, and Andrea stops after a few steps, turning back to me and giving me a beseeching look. “Come on, Nathan. You're someone I've looked up to for years. Talk to me.”
I sigh, looking out over the road. “Andrea... do you know how much blood stains these hands? You count me as an ally, and you are correct, but I am not a good man. I'm the evil that is only good for fighting another kind of evil. That’s what I am.”
“Bullshit!” Andrea snaps, her voice cracking like a whip. “I swear to God if I ever hear you call yourself evil again, you won't have to worry about Peter, or anyone else, because I'm going to kick your ass! Now tell me the truth, dammit.”
I can't help it, the firecracker I see in front of me makes me smile even as she pisses me off, and I decide to tell her the truth. “Fine,” I reply, making sure my voice stays calm. “Yes, I like Melissa. Yes, I wish I could do more with our relationship than what I have. And yes, if I had my choice, Melissa is the woman I would take into my bed. But I don't have that choice, Andrea.”