Retribution (Secrets & Lies #3)(3)
“That's... that's good news then,” I say, trying to smile. “You'll be healthy again.”
“I will,” Nathan says, giving me a little smile. “Thanks to you and Carson and Andrea. You have all made this house a home, and I am grateful.”
I want to say more, but I can't, and instead I give him my best smile and pat his hand. “Then let's celebrate. Would you let me make the tea today?”
Nathan nods, smiling. I know I'm the only one he lets touch his teas beside him, and it's one of the ways that I hold out hope, even if it is a foolish hope. “Sure. I’d like that very much, 'Lissa.”
It's pretty late for me to be hanging out in the barn, but it's the place I feel most at peace, most centered. The sun's nearly set, but I haven't turned on the inside lights yet, instead letting the little bit of sunlight coming in through the open doors bounce off my latest sculpture, Ascension. It's evolved in the past three months from my original goal. Ever since meeting Nathan on that early autumn day in September, the piece has changed slowly, becoming more about redemption and growth. Andrea, who helps me out periodically with polishing and other grunt work while I do the welding, thinks it's my finest work yet. While I'm not quite happy with it yet, I think she's right.
I see someone coming across the dooryard toward the barn from the house, and I can't tell who it is immediately due to the the shadows. After a moment, I recognize the relaxed walk and see Carson come into focus. “Hey 'Lissa, you okay out here?”
“Yeah, I'm okay,” I answer, getting up from the hay bale I've been sitting on and putting Mr. Trumbull, my teddy bear, up on his shelf. Carson notices and comes over, sitting down on the bale and patting it. I sink down next to him, resting my elbows on my knees. “You guys getting worried, I guess?”
“No, I just wanted to hang out with my sister for a little bit,” Carson says with a smile, putting his arm around my shoulders. For twenty-three years, it was just the two of us really, and even after Andrea joined us, he's still the greatest source of comfort in my life. I know sometimes he feels like he failed me since I've only really come out of my shell more since Andrea joined our family, but he saved me in the darkest of times, and did it without a single complaint. He's the closest thing I've ever known to a superhero, and I'm lucky to have him as my brother. “Since we got back from Nathan's appointment I noticed you've been a bit down. What's up?”
“Oh, I've just been sitting out here thinking,” I say, looking at the head of the lone angel on Ascension, the one that I know I've made to represent Nathan. I made sure to include a slight blemish on the bright steel where the left side of the face would be, and an unbuffed portion on the left side where Nathan carries his pistol. “It's been a rather strange year for us, little brother.”
Carson hums, following my eyes. “It has been. Especially this fall and beginning of winter. I'll be honest, I never thought Andrea and I would fall in love so hard, so fast.”
I chuckle and nod before putting my head on Carson's shoulder. “You know, the first time I woke up after a nightmare and I found that both of you had joined me was the best feeling in my entire life. It helped me put aside my fears that you two would slowly begin to grow tired of me.”
“Never,” Carson says, giving me a kiss on the temple. “Actually, I've been wanting to talk to you about that.”
“About what?” I ask, curious.
“Well, you know that Andrea and I love each other. And that, well, we express it a bit differently than what you probably expected.”
I laugh, I can't help it. Carson talking about his love life has always been funny, but him talking about his love life with Andrea is even funnier. “If you mean that she calls you 'Sir' half the time, I've noticed. Carson, I sleep across the hall from you two. I know you guys are... unique.”
Carson blushes, then nods. “You've been awesome with accepting all of it, 'Lissa. I've felt bad I never quite told you about that side of me, but I never could figure out how to tell you.”
“I think you have a problem talking about how strong you really are,” I reply, smiling. “It's not just romantically, either. You always downplay yourself around me. So what are you and Andrea thinking about?”
Carson takes a deep breath and gives me a look. “Would you be upset if Andrea and I took things deeper? Like... husband and wife?”
I stop, my smile disappearing for a moment before it comes back, and I nod. “I think that would be awesome. But can I ask you for a few things?”
“Like what?” Carson asks, relief in his voice.
“First, that you guys do at least some kind of ceremony. I know you've talked about doing things like Katrina and Jackson, no church or government or anything like that...”
“Underground,” Carson says, and I nod.
“Right, underground. But it'd be nice for me if you guys at least did something privately, maybe just a little family ceremony? I'd like to be there for that.”
Carson smiles and takes my hand. “Only if you're the person who oversees it.”
I nod my head, patting his chest. “Agreed.”
Carson smiles and gives me another kiss on the temple. “I love you, 'Lissa.”