Retribution (Secrets & Lies #3)(29)
We start off, and I keep to the dirt road at first, letting her get comfortable moving in the dim light of just the moon. As we move, she relaxes, and I'm thrilled when she moves closer, until she's so close I can feel her shoulder brush against my arm as we move. “This is nice,” she finally says, inhaling deeply. “You know, I think that's one thing I do like about here.”
“What's that? The cold?”
Melissa chuckles, shaking her head as she lets out her breath, the mist rising to disappear in the moonlight. “No. The smell. It's different from the farm. There we have trees too, but it's a heavy, wet smell most of the time. Here, it's sharp and clean. I don't think I've ever smelled anything quite like it before.”
I stop and inhale deeply as I close my eyes, trying to see the world through Melissa's point of view, and for an instant, it feels like it's right there. I can smell what she's talking about, the chill combined with the still rich scent of the pine trees that make up a lot of the forest up here, mixed in with the faint tang of the smoke from our fire behind us. It's amazing, and I open my eyes in wonder. “You're right. It's... that's what is special about you, 'Lissa.”
“What do you mean?” she asks as we start walking again. “You've said that I'm special a couple of times now. I still don't see how I'm special.”
I think, trying to find the words I can use to explain how she makes me feel. “'I saw today how you struggled with the log, and how you have spent a lot of time around here feeling pretty much like you don't have a place.”
“Everyone contributes except me. I don’t like it.”
“No, you are special in your own way,” I argue gently. “Like what you just helped me do. 'Lissa, I have spent time in so many different forests I can’t even begin to count them all. Right up until that moment when you said something about the smell, the only things that concerned me about the compound were how defensible it is, or which trees around the property are good for firewood. That's it. But when I’m with you, you remind me of the beauty that makes the world worth being in. So don't ever doubt that you’re not special, that you don't have a place here in the family. Because you are more vital than even me. When BA gets old enough, or when Andrea and Carson have their baby, they are going to need someone to teach and show them the beautiful side of the world. Hopefully, they won't need to learn the skills that I have.”
“You think we'll ever be safe like that?” Melissa asks, stopping and looking at me. “Lately I've been having more dreams that we'll never be safe, and they're scarier than my memories.”
I raise her hand to my lips, kissing her knuckles without even realizing I'm doing it. “Melissa, I promise you, there will come a time when you will be safe and secure.”
She moves closer, a shadow in the darkness, and wraps her arms around me, hugging me. I hug her back, and would stay there forever except that my cock betrays me, stirring in my pants as it realizes the woman I've been fantasizing about for the past four months is now holding me. And she isn't holding me for support, but rather because she wants to hold me. I let go and step back, taking her hand again. She looks at me, slightly confused. “What, Nathan?”
“Nothing, 'Lissa. I would like to finish a wonderful walk with a wonderful person though, and then maybe share a cup of cocoa in the kitchen?”
Melissa laughs nearly silently and shakes her head. “What happened to your tea fetish?”
I laugh in reply and shake my head. “I am a tea snob, unfortunately, and we have burned through the little stash of good tea I brought with us. And I’ve seen you drinking cocoa with your sisters.”
Melissa smiles, beautiful in the starlight, and nods. “Okay. You're right, I am pretty much a chocoholic.”
We turn back, and when we get back inside, I make Melissa a mug of cocoa, noting we're going to have to go on a supply run tomorrow, unless we plan on drinking nothing but water in two days. “Here you go.”
We sit quietly, and I find that despite it being too sweet and a bit cloying, sharing a mug with Melissa is nice. The fire is just the right size to give us enough light and heat to be comfortable. “I wonder if they set this up for us.”
“Probably,” Melissa admits, sipping at her drink. “I think I was a bit too open telling them things.”
“I know. Having Katrina threaten to kick my ass was a good hint. I'm not upset about it, I know she loves you. Besides, I’ve been thinking...”
Melissa sets her mug down, and gives me a hopeful look. “Thinking about what?”
“That after this is done... I would like to stay part of this family, if it’s okay with everyone else,” I say, feeling unusually unsure. “I just... I would really like that. Especially since you do help me feel like the world is better.”
“I'd like that too,” Melissa says, and we finish our cocoa. “Thank you, Nathan. I feel a lot better about being here after our walk.”
I nod, smiling. “Actually, Melissa, I have a request. Would you mind if we did this again sometime soon? I mean, it doesn't have to be a walk every time.”
Melissa gives me an angelic smile and raises an eyebrow. “Why, Nathan Black, are you asking me on a date?”