Resolution (Saviour #2)(99)
The place has been completely trashed, the kitchen cupboards and drawers are open, there is very little food in them, packets, spice jars, nothing that you could actually eat, there are dirty plates and cups all over the bench tops and some smashed over the floor, the sofa has been shredded, like somebody has set to work on it with a knife and just slashed and slashed until there is nothing else left, the plasma TV is missing from the wall and my old dining table and chairs have gone, there are holes in the walls, which look to me like somebody has punched them; my heart is hammering so hard, I feel I’m in danger of breaking a rib as it hits against them so hard. Just as I turn to head back down the stairs and leave I notice a couple of zip lock bags on the side, the bigger one appears to have weed inside, I open it up and sniff, yuck, smells like cheese, yep, definitely weed, hydro probably, but the other bag, the smaller one, I’m not sure, I pick it up and examine it. “What the f*ck?” I whisper to myself out loud. I know what I think it is, but I cannot for the life of me fathom what it’s doing here? I grab both the bags and shove them into my bag I have hanging across my chest and head back down the stairs, calling Ryder again as I walk, still no answer.
I stop at the bottom of the stairs for a few seconds trying to decide what I should do when I hear a cough from my old bedroom. I’m not an idiot and this isn’t one of those scary films where the girl, all alone, goes to investigate what the noise is. Na, I’m more your Scooby and Shaggy, I shit myself at the sound and get my arse out of there. I head straight for my car, thinking all the while that I still don’t know how to lock it from the inside, I’ve never read the manual. My brain is racing, my thoughts all over the place when my arm is grabbed and I’m spun back around to face Jay, but it’s not Jay, not my Jay at least, I let out a pathetic scream and try to pull my arm away. “You’re here Lauren, I knew you would come.”
He starts pulling me back towards the house. “Jason, no, what are you doing? We agreed, you wouldn’t be here.”
It doesn’t matter how much I try to drag my feet, he is too strong for me and I’m being pulled closer and closer to the house, I have to stop him, I can’t be alone with him in there.
“Jason… Please. I need to get stuff out of my car. I have boxes and bags and bubble wrap.”
I don’t, I’m making it up as I go. I just need to get away from him. He spins around and leans right into my face and speaks to me through gritted teeth. “That car Lauren. That f*ckin car has got to go. I don’t like it darl, I don’t like it one bit.”
He’s stopped moving while he’s talking and that’s all that my mind can focus on right now. I need to keep him talking. “Why, why not Jay? You’ve always liked Beamers.”
“No! Not that one Lauren. Look at it, look what it says; who the f*ck does he think he is, buying you a car, you’re MY f*cking wife, he shouldn’t have done that, you’re NOT his one, you’re mine.”
He’s looking towards the car now and shouting and out of my face. This isn’t Jason, this isn’t even Jason when we’ve been fighting, this is Jason as high as a kite and off his nut on ice, meth, shard. Whatever it’s called, that’s what I found in that bag, and I have no idea how to deal with this Jason, other than to try and remain calm and not antagonise him. “Then we’ll just get rid of it. The car can go, what shall we buy instead, what car would you like Jay?”
He drops my arm and pushes both hands through his hair. “I don’t know Lauren, I don’t know anything anymore. I used to think I had all the answers, that I had everything under control. But you left me, you left me and you found him and it’s not right Lauren.”
He takes a step towards the car. I look past him to see if I can make it around him and out onto the street before he can catch me. My phone is still in my hand, if I can just get a call out for some help. He turns back towards me and instinctively I step back away from him, closer to the open front door. “Shall we burn it?”
“What?”
“The car. Shall we burn it?”
“NO!” I don’t mean to shout, but I’m panicking. Trying to remember everything I’ve ever read or heard about Crystal Meth and its side effect. I can’t, other than the pictures of people’s faces, at how much it aged and changed their appearance, at the moment Jay just looks thinner and has crazy eyes. How long has he been using this shit I wonder? Is this the reason his moods swings have increased over the past couple of years. Surely there is no way he could have maintained a relationship with me, held down a job, run a business. All while taking that shit, I would have known. Surely I would have known?
“We can just sell the car. No need to burn it, it’s worth a lot of money, its top of the range. Take a look inside”
He takes another step towards me, looking confused. I rummage in my bag and find the keys. My phone starts to vibrate in my hand and it’s all I can do not to look at it. I don’t want Jason to know I have my phone and he’s looking right at me. I hold the keys out to him.
“Take a look.”
He takes the keys from me and as soon as he turns towards the car, I run back inside the house, slam the door and lock it. Then I go into a complete blind panic. I can’t remember my pin to unlock my phone, then I forget how to bring the key pad up. I never dial a number, everything is stored, I stare at the screen for a few split seconds as Jason starts banging on the door, I get the right screen up and dial triple zero and tell the operator where I am and what’s going on. Just as I hang up Gabe calls. Gabe, oh f*ck!